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are you still virgin?

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Craig28
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30 Jul 2010, 5:07 pm

From what it seems, your mother has blackmailed you into not having sex. She seems fearful that the world would end if you do. Typical NT behaviour - always fearful of what they don't understand.



Erisad
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30 Jul 2010, 5:12 pm

Craig28 wrote:
From what it seems, your mother has blackmailed you into not having sex. She seems fearful that the world would end if you do. Typical NT behaviour - always fearful of what they don't understand.


Pretty much. I think it has more to do with that she's my mother and I'm her baby girl and all that. She's not like this with my NT brother though but that's probably because he has no interest in dating at all. :/



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30 Jul 2010, 5:14 pm

Northeastern292 wrote:
These virginity threads are becoming a real broken record, and no, I don't want to be a troll here.


True, but that is only because it is really important to a lot of aspies. Those aspies that have experience from an early age seem to have a hard time understanding the plight of inexperienced aspies. Combine that with the media which imply that there is something wrong with anyone who can't get laid on a daily basis and you have a sensitive subject.



Craig28
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30 Jul 2010, 5:16 pm

My mother was the same with my NT sister. She had no problem with her, but everytime I brought up the sex subject, my mother would treat it like a banned subject, a taboo. It took me years of battling with her, for her to finally help me in that area. You see, an NT can be worn down. We aren't powerless, you might need to find something that you could hang over her so that she breaks and lets you have sex, and still gives you the money.



Craig28
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30 Jul 2010, 5:18 pm

n4mwd wrote:
Combine that with the media which imply that there is something wrong with anyone who can't get laid on a daily basis and you have a sensitive subject.


There's the pressure to have sex, right there. Thats why I find it important, and I let people know that I am active. I have to, life is one big game of getting what you want and need.



Erisad
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30 Jul 2010, 5:29 pm

Craig28 wrote:
My mother was the same with my NT sister. She had no problem with her, but everytime I brought up the sex subject, my mother would treat it like a banned subject, a taboo. It took me years of battling with her, for her to finally help me in that area. You see, an NT can be worn down. We aren't powerless, you might need to find something that you could hang over her so that she breaks and lets you have sex, and still gives you the money.


I don't think I have anything to blackmail her with. Looks like I'll have to wait. D:



Celeritas
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30 Jul 2010, 5:47 pm

Sex really isn't that important - it's love that you can't buy



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30 Jul 2010, 8:01 pm

Erisad wrote:
I'm still a virgin at 21 years old. My ex wanted to pop my cherry but I wasn't comfortable with the idea, seeing that we were only together for three weeks.


Same situation here, except I'm a year younger than you.



n4mwd
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30 Jul 2010, 8:16 pm

Celeritas wrote:
Sex really isn't that important - it's love that you can't buy


Very TRUE!

However the media creates the illusion that its the other way around. Hence, aspies tend to feel inadequate when they aren't part of the club.



Surya
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30 Jul 2010, 8:22 pm

Not a virgin - lost that long time ago

Erisad wrote:
Craig28 wrote:
My mother was the same with my NT sister. She had no problem with her, but everytime I brought up the sex subject, my mother would treat it like a banned subject, a taboo. It took me years of battling with her, for her to finally help me in that area. You see, an NT can be worn down. We aren't powerless, you might need to find something that you could hang over her so that she breaks and lets you have sex, and still gives you the money.


I don't think I have anything to blackmail her with. Looks like I'll have to wait. D:


It is not like your asking to use the family car, so there is no 'lets you' a parent may let an offspring of theirs drive the car.. or not let you.. they cannot, 'not let you' have sex.. not at your age ffs..

This kind of thing pisses me off.. how dare she hold that over you. Your mother is a twat..
Why does she not want you to have sex? Is what I would be asking her?
Scared to lose control of you? Scared you will get preggers?



Adam82
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30 Jul 2010, 8:36 pm

Still virgin, and 27 (puts hand up timidly) :oops:

Never kissed a girl, never had a GF, nada. I am pretty sure I'm not asexual, I have liked people in the past. So its not that. I just have no idea what to say to girls. I have no idea of dating etiquette. There is someone I worked with who I like, but the only contact I have with her is via emails at the moment, so I need to work up the guts to just ask her out. It's hard to do this via email though.



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30 Jul 2010, 9:06 pm

Yup, and I'll probably lose it once a get a girlfriend. That I think will be the most difficult part.


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30 Jul 2010, 9:16 pm

Surya wrote:
Not a virgin - lost that long time ago

Erisad wrote:
Craig28 wrote:
My mother was the same with my NT sister. She had no problem with her, but everytime I brought up the sex subject, my mother would treat it like a banned subject, a taboo. It took me years of battling with her, for her to finally help me in that area. You see, an NT can be worn down. We aren't powerless, you might need to find something that you could hang over her so that she breaks and lets you have sex, and still gives you the money.


I don't think I have anything to blackmail her with. Looks like I'll have to wait. D:


It is not like your asking to use the family car, so there is no 'lets you' a parent may let an offspring of theirs drive the car.. or not let you.. they cannot, 'not let you' have sex.. not at your age ffs..

This kind of thing pisses me off.. how dare she hold that over you. Your mother is a twat..
Why does she not want you to have sex? Is what I would be asking her?
Scared to lose control of you? Scared you will get preggers?


Yeah, she's said that if I were to get pregnant she'd kill me and the child. Not that I think she'd actually do it but the image frightens me. I thought she was pro-life too, but anyway... D:

Why? My mother is a preacher's daughter. If I were to have sex before marriage, I would be sent to hell and yadda yadda blah. I'm afraid that if I were to follow that path that I'll marry someone who can't satisfy me in bed. Isn't that how a lot of affairs begin anyway? I know enough that I wouldn't throw it away at the first opportunity. I wouldn't be a virgin anymore if that was the case. I would wait until I have a stable enough connection with someone and then offer it to them. It's not like I'll have a one night stand anyway. :/

She's like this with the matter of alcohol too. Mother calls me a lush every time I want to order a drink at a restaurant. I only had 3 drinks in my life. 2 being at a party which my mother doesn't know that I consumed alcohol at and the other drink being on my 21st birthday. It's hypocritical because she keeps 2 bottles of wine in the house at all times. I'm not a lush for wanting a drink with my meal. >.>



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30 Jul 2010, 9:18 pm

Your mother sounds horrible and you should seek emancipation.


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Erisad
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30 Jul 2010, 9:23 pm

KaiG wrote:
Your mother sounds horrible and you should seek emancipation.


Yeah...that won't happen until I have enough money to move out or find someone to move in with and God help me if it happens to be a man. "You're not supposed to live with a man unless you're married?" What if he's gay? That should be okay right? D:



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30 Jul 2010, 10:08 pm

Erisad wrote:
Yeah, she's said that if I were to get pregnant she'd kill me and the child. Not that I think she'd actually do it but the image frightens me. I thought she was pro-life too, but anyway... D:

Why? My mother is a preacher's daughter. If I were to have sex before marriage, I would be sent to hell and yadda yadda blah. I'm afraid that if I were to follow that path that I'll marry someone who can't satisfy me in bed. Isn't that how a lot of affairs begin anyway? I know enough that I wouldn't throw it away at the first opportunity. I wouldn't be a virgin anymore if that was the case. I would wait until I have a stable enough connection with someone and then offer it to them. It's not like I'll have a one night stand anyway. :/

She's like this with the matter of alcohol too. Mother calls me a lush every time I want to order a drink at a restaurant. I only had 3 drinks in my life. 2 being at a party which my mother doesn't know that I consumed alcohol at and the other drink being on my 21st birthday. It's hypocritical because she keeps 2 bottles of wine in the house at all times. I'm not a lush for wanting a drink with my meal. >.>


Your mother.. sounds like a loon..
I hope your going to uni far far away from her.
Is she ok with the thoughts of you being married and having children?
And did she know about your ex?

her wine =medicinal?

I have no parents/family so stuff like this is sickly fascinating to me.