I wish I had a boyfriend!

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Joined: 4 May 2008
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25 Aug 2010, 10:30 am

Good point. I need to find a guy for the right reasons. My one friend said they are alot of work since you have to try to please them. Thanks

Krusty
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25 Aug 2010, 11:53 am

That is probably something else you will need to work on. In a relationship you do things out of love, not because you feel you 'have to'. Guys are not a lot of work if you find the right one. Instead of work, if you find the right one, you will find it as doing something out of love and instead of work, you will enjoy doing it - your heart enjoying the prospect of being with this person will allow you to see past the current view you have of a guy.

The same applies in reverse, you probably know many guys see a girl as being very hard work. Most guys even have beliefs that you have to almost spoil a girl in a relationship it order for her to be happy and want to be with you. This is not the case either.

When you truly find that person and you are truly committed, that all changes - and 'work' is no longer considered 'work', but instead it is considered 'love'.

xxZeromancerlovexx
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25 Aug 2010, 12:48 pm

Guys aren't worth the time. I hang out with them as "friends" but other than that I don't really want a relationship right now. I met a guy once who was all "I get so jealous when a bf and gf kiss" So I said to him "Boo hoo get yourself a tissue, having a GF just to look "cool" is wrong. Trust me one of my ex-BFs only wanted me to look "cool" so he could say "Look! I have a girlfriend now will you socially accept me!?"

Krusty
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25 Aug 2010, 12:54 pm

xxZeromancerlovexx wrote:

I find it depressing that you think guys are not worth the time. Though with your experiences, maybe that is why you believe such. In which case, I do not blame you. Experience breed knowledge.

Though, many guy are a part of a social tree and at a young age (12-26) I can most likely say that guys are more like animals when it comes to relationships. Most of them anyway. Until you find a true guy.. one who strives to have a committed relationship ... and one who cares about others.. in a true loving way.

MissConstrue
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25 Aug 2010, 1:02 pm

I can relate to the OP in some ways. I've often felt ostracized for lack of relationships as well as friendships but I have to agree with many of the posters here. You'd be miserable if you were doing it to please people. I don't want generalize everyone on the spectrum but for me that trying to be something you're not was really uncomfortable. In time when you've learn to accept yourself you may find you want a boyfriend for a different reason...

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skylark
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25 Aug 2010, 1:12 pm

i wouldnt be so worried, im 32 nxt month and people in my age field are all worried about their biological clock, i have low self esteem and actually, its not always easy but im learning to not care about how my being single appears to others, of course, i would love to have someone but i would rather be lonely and growing in loving myself than to be lonely and miserable with the wrong man , start finding what your passions are, enjoy yourself and your confidence and peace inside yourself may attract a suitable man, but just try to enjoy yourself- i don't mean to come across as patronising, but I believe God had a plan for my life and its in god's hands when I get my other half, the guy is not ready yet for me and doesn't know it yet!! x

Krusty
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25 Aug 2010, 1:17 pm

That man will find you soon enough Skylark, God never lets down upon his children.

Erisad
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25 Aug 2010, 1:21 pm

Krusty wrote:

God never lets down upon his children.

OFF TOPIC...Ya sure about that? My grandfather was a preacher, who did the work of the Lord and what did it get him? Death at age 48 from brain cancer, leaving his children alone behind. There are plenty of times where I think God already forgot about me. I mean, my father already walked out on me so what good is another absent "father" going to do?

Krusty
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25 Aug 2010, 1:33 pm

Skylark is a believer, as am I.

I see you are not. Your grandfather is in a better place though, relish that thought for a moment. God has not forgotten about you either, of that I can assure you. Your father walking out on you was his choice, it was not yours nor the Lord's. And the Lord is not absent, He is there waiting for you.

However, I must not shove my beliefs down others' throats. Now, back on topic:

Anyone who thinks that there is not someone for them is probably wrong. Even from a complete existentialist viewpoint, there are compatibilities for everyone everywhere. The statistics of that not being likely are astronomical.

Mark198423
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25 Aug 2010, 4:46 pm

zeldapsychology wrote:

Sorry to make ANOTHER topic on this but I just clicked FB and saw my friend/her BF pic. of them together I HATE IT! and am in a way jealous! I WANT THAT! I want a boyfriend to hug up on talk too etc. Part of me though wants to focus on college work so that's good. but I'm always seeing pics. of those 2 on FB. :-(

I guess I need to not think about it as much. Sadly as a child who was homeschooled as a female Aspie I've never learned this mimicry behavior that I hear so much about. :-(

So going back to college I've considered trying this behavior since it supposedly has worked for other Aspies (acting NT) as they say. When reading on AS females it mentions friends we have while young are nurting and supportive then they go there separate ways therefore the Aspie female has no friends. THIS IS ME! I had nurting caring friends but now NOTHING! :-(

I hope I can do this mimicry stuff and be a better NT (I'm not so sure though) :-(

I can completely understand this, I see friend's pics and even people in the street and get very jealous - and it's getting worse all the time! I want someone who to love again. Not just anyone, I'm actually probably far too selective in who I'm attracted to but I can't really help that, but someone special to me - just like so many others seem to have, pretty much everyone as far as I can see.

ChekaMan
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25 Aug 2010, 5:10 pm

The thing with getting a bf, or in my case a gf, is, it won't happen when you are worried about it.Pushing too hard is as bad as doing nothing. The best thing to do is gently probe the Internet for the right person,whilst watching out for scammers.

darkphantomx1
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06 Feb 2015, 1:23 pm

I was just wondering, if you will be my girl?

Dantac
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07 Feb 2015, 3:34 pm

You are 5 years too late master necrothreadmancer.

Jono
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07 Feb 2015, 4:12 pm

Dantac wrote:

You are 5 years too late master necrothreadmancer.

He maybe 5 years too late but it does show an example of a female complaining about not being able to get a boyfriend. That proves that it's not only men who complain about such things on WP.

The_Face_of_Boo
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08 Feb 2015, 10:22 am

Jono wrote:

Dantac wrote:

You are 5 years too late master necrothreadmancer.

He maybe 5 years too late but it does show an example of a female complaining about not being able to get a boyfriend. That proves that it's not only men who complain about such things on WP.

Except female members get boyfriends after complaining a lot.

The OP is probably married or engaged by now.

CockneyRebel
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08 Feb 2015, 6:46 pm

The OP is still here and she's probably reading this right now.

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