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Dating profile, part 2

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Jono
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15 Sep 2010, 3:21 pm

Dilbert wrote:
1) Smile! Smile in your pic! And include more pictures in various poses.

2) Remove the academic creds. Just say went to college or attending college. That's a dating profile, not a CV. I understand you are proud of your accomplishments. But a profile is no place to list a PhD. Instead when you go out on a date, steer the topic toward your studies and then bring in a PhD for a kill. :)

3) Your profile's sole purpose is to get you one (1) date with a compatible woman. A woman will not fall in love and be yours forever based on what she reads in your profile. It will all come down to chemistry on your date(s). So keep the info in the profile to a minimum. Simple and interesting! You can talk about the rest on your date.

4) Talk about what kind of a person you are, not just your interests. For example: are you more spontaneous or more of a planner/list maker? More logical/rational or more spiritual/religious? Attached to your family or more independent? You've touched upon this with a "have friends, prefer to be alone" line. You need a little more of the same... something to describe your personality.

5) As for your interests, be general. Just say you like SciFi! No need to list the shows, and certainly there's no need to have one paragraph for SciFi TV and second for SciFi movies! A girl of your dreams may love SciFi but hate BSG and so she won't e-mail you even though the two of you would be perfect together.

Like I said, keep the profile short and to the point. Less is more. The magic happens on the phone or on the first date. The profile is there to intrigue a woman enough to reply to your first message, or to compel her to initiate contact with you. The rest is up to you. ;)

Good luck!


Thanks. Just a few things though. With regards to your second point, working on a PhD program was already one of the options I could choose from under "education" in the personal details section on the right. Also, there's a whole field which I haven't filled in entitled "What I'm doing with my life", in which I thought this information would in any case be relevant if I were to fill it in.

I'm not entirely sure how to describe my personality since I'm not sure how other people see me. Those match questions are quite revealing about personality though and I've already noticed some of my personality traits that I recognise show up in the personality section due to me answering them.

Finally, people on Wrongplanet previously suggested that I should give examples of TV shows, books etc. that I liked and the "My favourite books, movies, music and food" field would be nearly empty if I didn't include them. Also I've already seen other profiles of people who like sci-fi list them as well.



Jono
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15 Sep 2010, 3:26 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
the best advice i ever saw was in quirkology: the curious science of everyday lives (richard wiseman):

a singles advert should have approximately 70% of the words dedicated to speaking of oneself, and 30% of the words dedicated to describing the target person.

using this type of strategy, you used 184 words in the 'My Self-Summary' 'My favourite books, movies, music and food' sections

you used 90 words in the 'I'm looking for' and 'You should message me if' sections

therefore, you spoke about yourself 67% of the time, and your potential mate 33% of the time. considering that some of the final section was sort of about you as well, which could slightly change this percentage, that is a bang-up job!


Thanks. Well according to that, my profile seems differ from the optimum percentages by only about 3% but I'll see how it changes when I more to it.



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15 Sep 2010, 3:28 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
men were also good at spotting good online profiles that women had written to attract men. however, women did not have much of a clue when it came to spotting good online profiles of this type. women did not know what kind of profile would attract the most men. the conclusion was that women should have a man's help when writing these kinds of advertisements... interesting, no?


I'd guess that advertising as a profession is also primarily a man's game.


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hyperlexian
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15 Sep 2010, 3:44 pm

Moog wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
men were also good at spotting good online profiles that women had written to attract men. however, women did not have much of a clue when it came to spotting good online profiles of this type. women did not know what kind of profile would attract the most men. the conclusion was that women should have a man's help when writing these kinds of advertisements... interesting, no?


I'd guess that advertising as a profession is also primarily a man's game.
that is probably true. but i would not have though automatically that men would have mrore talent in that area. that is probably my lingering attachment to male/female stereotypes i guess.

i was shocked by the results of the study. the book was a hell of a good read to me because i love factoids - there are tons of WTF? moments in there.


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15 Sep 2010, 3:48 pm

Jono wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
the best advice i ever saw was in quirkology: the curious science of everyday lives (richard wiseman):

a singles advert should have approximately 70% of the words dedicated to speaking of oneself, and 30% of the words dedicated to describing the target person.

using this type of strategy, you used 184 words in the 'My Self-Summary' 'My favourite books, movies, music and food' sections

you used 90 words in the 'I'm looking for' and 'You should message me if' sections

therefore, you spoke about yourself 67% of the time, and your potential mate 33% of the time. considering that some of the final section was sort of about you as well, which could slightly change this percentage, that is a bang-up job!


Thanks. Well according to that, my profile seems differ from the optimum percentages by only about 3% but I'll see how it changes when I more to it.
you're welcome. when i went to bed last night i had an uneasy feeling i didn't approach your question from the right perspective. i suddenly realized that maybe you wanted people's impressions of your profile, not a statistical breakdown of the most effective strategies. but that's the way i think. glad if it even helped a little bit anyways!


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Jono
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15 Sep 2010, 4:01 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
Jono wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
the best advice i ever saw was in quirkology: the curious science of everyday lives (richard wiseman):

a singles advert should have approximately 70% of the words dedicated to speaking of oneself, and 30% of the words dedicated to describing the target person.

using this type of strategy, you used 184 words in the 'My Self-Summary' 'My favourite books, movies, music and food' sections

you used 90 words in the 'I'm looking for' and 'You should message me if' sections

therefore, you spoke about yourself 67% of the time, and your potential mate 33% of the time. considering that some of the final section was sort of about you as well, which could slightly change this percentage, that is a bang-up job!


Thanks. Well according to that, my profile seems differ from the optimum percentages by only about 3% but I'll see how it changes when I more to it.
you're welcome. when i went to bed last night i had an uneasy feeling i didn't approach your question from the right perspective. i suddenly realized that maybe you wanted people's impressions of your profile, not a statistical breakdown of the most effective strategies. but that's the way i think. glad if it even helped a little bit anyways!


Sure, well I don't have time to update my profile now. I'll do it tomorrow.



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16 Sep 2010, 2:59 pm

Janissy wrote:
Jono wrote:
[
Ok, I'll try to add some more information to the profile and then I'll post again to find out what you think. Are you sure that I should fill in all the fields in my profile? Some of them seem optional. I need some time to get more photos though because some other photographs I've got of myself from the Summer School I've recently been to aren't too great either.


Fill in all the fields that are relevent to your life, even if they are optional. What the heck...fill in the fields that aren't relevent to your life too. This is also information. For instance if it asks for your favorite sport and you don't have one you could write, "does fielding questions in a lecture hall count as a sport?" or something whimsical like that. Whimsical and humerous replies are eye-catching. So are strong opinions. That's why I advised you to put in opinions about shows/movies/books (did you love the ending of Lost? Hate it?) You need something that is eye catching.

As to the photos, I think you really need to set up a photo session with a friend. Don't just go with whatever happens to be lying around the house. If your photo is miserable looking (and you look frankly unhappy in that photo) women won't even read the profile. I advise engaging in one of your special interests while a friend takes photos. This will give a photo that shows you looking engaged. Being an engaging conversation partner is your selling point so you can't afford to look disinterested in the photo (as your current one does- a terrible combination of unhappy and disinterested).


Jannissy, I've added some information to my profile as you have suggested. If you click on the link to my profile now, do you think it's or should I put more in.



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16 Sep 2010, 3:21 pm

I just saw the new meatier profile. It has some nice food for thought in it. I think this tweaked profile is much more interesting

I think the only change it still needs is a new photo. :thumleft:



Jono
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16 Sep 2010, 3:40 pm

Janissy wrote:
I just saw the new meatier profile. It has some nice food for thought in it. I think this tweaked profile is much more interesting

I think the only change it still needs is a new photo. :thumleft:


Thanks.



The_Face_of_Boo
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16 Sep 2010, 4:29 pm

This is really boring.

The Okcupid I mean, not your profile in particular.



Jono
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18 Sep 2010, 5:10 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
This is really boring.

The Okcupid I mean, not your profile in particular.


Does that mean you think the web site is boring or have you tried OKCupid before?



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24 Sep 2010, 5:00 pm

Jono wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
This is really boring.

The Okcupid I mean, not your profile in particular.


Does that mean you think the web site is boring or have you tried OKCupid before?


nope, I meant okcupid.

Yeah, I tried it for fun.

No fun there tho.



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24 Sep 2010, 6:47 pm

Moog wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
men were also good at spotting good online profiles that women had written to attract men. however, women did not have much of a clue when it came to spotting good online profiles of this type. women did not know what kind of profile would attract the most men. the conclusion was that women should have a man's help when writing these kinds of advertisements... interesting, no?


I'd guess that advertising as a profession is also primarily a man's game.


Interestingly enough, I know someone who works in advertising, and her company is very female-dominant.

As far as the poster's profile goes, I think it's a good one. Certainly a good one if you're looking to attract a geeky sort of girl.


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25 Sep 2010, 6:34 am

Kaybee wrote:
Moog wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
men were also good at spotting good online profiles that women had written to attract men. however, women did not have much of a clue when it came to spotting good online profiles of this type. women did not know what kind of profile would attract the most men. the conclusion was that women should have a man's help when writing these kinds of advertisements... interesting, no?


I'd guess that advertising as a profession is also primarily a man's game.


Interestingly enough, I know someone who works in advertising, and her company is very female-dominant.

As far as the poster's profile goes, I think it's a good one. Certainly a good one if you're looking to attract a geeky sort of girl.


Thanks. In that case I think you should know that I just messaged someone who also seems a bit geeky according to her profile. It's indicated that she hasn't been on-line since 21 August though, so I'll have to wait and see if she replies.



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25 Sep 2010, 9:12 am

Jono wrote:
Kaybee wrote:
Moog wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
men were also good at spotting good online profiles that women had written to attract men. however, women did not have much of a clue when it came to spotting good online profiles of this type. women did not know what kind of profile would attract the most men. the conclusion was that women should have a man's help when writing these kinds of advertisements... interesting, no?


I'd guess that advertising as a profession is also primarily a man's game.


Interestingly enough, I know someone who works in advertising, and her company is very female-dominant.

As far as the poster's profile goes, I think it's a good one. Certainly a good one if you're looking to attract a geeky sort of girl.


Thanks. In that case I think you should know that I just messaged someone who also seems a bit geeky according to her profile. It's indicated that she hasn't been on-line since 21 August though, so I'll have to wait and see if she replies.
oooooh that's exciting!


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25 Sep 2010, 9:14 am

I have a bad feeling about all this over-excitement.