I can't cope any more

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I have posted youtube vids but they are very primative quality - webcam and headphones.
I am going to post some videos in time via camcorder - that should be better.

That is another difficulty - the gigs I play are open mics... it feels so patronizing and so pointless after I do so many of those types of performances.

I am learning to drive and I think I'm actually alright at it.

I must rest now.
I will be online again in many hours.
Goodnight everyone. ^^
Thank y'all for the help. ^^ *Hug*

I really think you should get some professional help samtoo I was in the same spot as you years ago & things got so bad I ended up slashing myself. I'm feeling much better nowadays about things even thou I still have moments where I feel bad sometimes I'm still much happier than I used to be. I really hope you get some good rest & start getting some good help