And People give me crap about this....

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Joined: 23 Sep 2007
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18 Sep 2010, 4:34 pm

It's okay to demand a basic standard of hygiene. I'm walking proof that even a fatass can shower daily and keep himself clean and wear clean clothes. But, on the other hand, don't automatically judge someone who doesn't look like a twilight werewolf as someone not worth knowing...

nick007
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19 Sep 2010, 5:27 am

I'm very surprised by the OPs post because I've seen very few women actually admit that. I've seen lots of women say those things are unimportant to em when in reality it's the main thing that maters to em. I'm happy that she's honest & has the guts to admit it I wish more women did

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Ichinin
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19 Sep 2010, 6:09 am

First, i'd never wear a suit and tie, even if the relationship depended on it. If she cannot accept me for who i am - bye! My room mate is loneliness and we've been buddies for over a decade.

...but for fun, lets reverse the thing:

xxZeromancerlovexx wrote:

Just think of it like this would you rather be seen with a girl who is...

A.
-Scrawny
-Scraggly
-Doesn't know how to dress

Or

B.
-Has normal sized boobs.
-Have a nice haircut
-Dresses like a girl (Street clothes not what her mom picked out)

If you chose B, I think we are on the same page.

Actually, i really not care as long as she is cute, geeky, intelligent and love me. That usually implies nerdy, goth, indie = alternative girls. Such girls in general do not "dress well" (A-type), and if anyone does not like her i wouldn't give a s**t because she would be my girlfriend - and that is all that matters.

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hale_bopp
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19 Sep 2010, 6:27 am

xxZeromancerlovexx wrote:

I'm the type of girl that says that image is very important in dating. Why would I date a guy who's going to embarass me with bad looks and bad personality. I need a guy who is what I call "Amazing inside and out".
I love guys who fit a certain degree in atractivness. I'm not too strict on what you have to look like but still you must be attractive in my book. I don't what to be made fun of for dating a guy that isn't attractive to most women. Just think of it like this would you rather be seen with a guy who is...
A.
-Scrawny
-Scraggly
-Doesn't know how to dress
Or
B.
-Has some but not too much muscle
-Is well groomed
-Dresses like a guy(Street clothes not what his mom picked out)

If you chose B, I think we are on the same page.

As for personality. I don't wanna be seen with a guy who doesn't know how to act. Manners matter in my case. Guys who are sexist douche bags aren't right for me. However a guy that is considerate, kind yet still acts like he has some clang-clangs, is what I'm looking for.

Does this make sense to anyone?

It used to, when I was younger and had a more immature view on relationships. Often young people grow out of it. I'm not sure how old you are.

Now I'm pretty much after the personality aspect with like 2 requirements look wise

Surfman
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19 Sep 2010, 6:31 am

Reading between the lines I take it that the OP is attractive and is showing off here with a hair flick or two?

Tell you something for free honey....good for you being able to pick and choose, but please dont bring down others here who have image issues. Its ugly to do that.... :wink:

Last edited by Surfman on 19 Sep 2010, 7:14 am, edited 1 time in total.

hale_bopp
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19 Sep 2010, 7:02 am

I like a bit of wobble on men. Athletic bodies do nothing for me.

Ichinin
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19 Sep 2010, 7:25 am

hale_bopp wrote:

I'm not sure how old you are.

I have a good idea:
http://www.wrongplanet.net/posts133005-highlight.html

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hale_bopp
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19 Sep 2010, 7:31 am

Oh, that explains it then.

Tsiiki
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19 Sep 2010, 10:08 am

This is the mentality I never understood... thats one reason I wasn't ever interested in dating... noone seems to do it for the purpose of finding someone they love... I asked my friends why they date and they say weird comments like "because its fun"... I mean sure, its fun having someone around who you care for and can do things with, I agree with that... but they don't seem to look for someone they'd be compatible with for the sake of finding someone they love, rather to fulfill the social requirement of having a bf/gf, to have something to do, to not be looked down on others... thats just so foreign to me... I don't want to date anyone who feels the same, I'd rather be alone then be viewed as a tool.

On the one hand, I do understand to a degree... everyone does tend to think about what others think, and may be reluctant to "show off" their bf/gf if they aren't attractive... but why does it matter? I don't find my friends bf/gfs attractive, but doesn't bother me, nor do I tell them that. So long as they're good people, who gives a s**t. If you can look past the superficial crap, you can find a really good person.

pumibel
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19 Sep 2010, 10:27 am

Chaincase wrote:

I think you show a lot of confidence and self worth for not settling for what you consider less. Possibly a bit too worried with what other people think but I digress. I don't know how old you are but as I have gotten older I find I am looking for different things than I was at 18. 34 now and if I could just find a woman that wasn't married, hasn't been with 6000 dudes and could carry on a conversation past the bar talk I think I'd be ecstatic.

That is pretty easy to find- you make it sound like it is impossible.

techstepgenr8tion
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19 Sep 2010, 11:06 am

xxZeromancerlovexx - same here, I couldn't deal with a girl who's a liability and who'd run me the risk of getting assaulted. Scary to say it but I've had some bad blind dates.

Chaincase wrote:

Ugh, that's what I have to look forward to? I know that I'm already not minding if a girl has a kid or two, just that I don't know if I'll ever be able to forgo personality connection - the day I find out that compatibility is too much to ask I think will be the day that I hang the effort up for good.

pumibel
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19 Sep 2010, 11:11 am

Looking for women (or men) in bars is probably part of the problem too. If you want someone who shares the same interests it is better to meet them where you pursue that interest.

techstepgenr8tion
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19 Sep 2010, 11:39 am

pumibel wrote:

Looking for women (or men) in bars is probably part of the problem too. If you want someone who shares the same interests it is better to meet them where you pursue that interest.

That's providing that someone has interests that form clubs and meetups, and that those clubs aren't 80% one gender with the remainder being wives, husbands, or kids dragged along.

I think the problem for society in general these days is that no one has any other venue. That may be one of the 'new society's biggest challenges, the old societal institutions that helped sort this out are gone - what replacement will work?

nick007
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19 Sep 2010, 12:09 pm

techstepgenr8tion wrote:

pumibel wrote:

Looking for women (or men) in bars is probably part of the problem too. If you want someone who shares the same interests it is better to meet them where you pursue that interest.

I don't think the venue will help someone find a partner who has similar interest if most people who share that interest are the same gander. I think the internet is replacing bars but instead of dealing with people looking for one night stands; you deal with con-artist. I suspect society never had a good place for people to meet up & find partners

hyperlexian
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19 Sep 2010, 12:53 pm

Surfman wrote:

surfman... i agree. i was unintentionally guilty of doing that on WP as well. i wasn't trying to show off anything (i'm really not that attractive lol), but it came across that way. i felt bad about it. i think it's good for the OP to understand the larger social implications of her post.

as to the original question.... i can't say that i care what other people think about how good-looking (or not) my spouse or boyfriend is. there is absolutely no way i could ever please everyone with my choice in partners, so why would i try? my friends and other people don't have to live with my lover.

i think that sort of social pressure is silly, and i would not want to associate with friends who criticize the appearance of my mates.

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astaut
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19 Sep 2010, 6:08 pm

There are guys that I think are very aesthetically appealing, but I am much more attracted to one if I like something else about him besides looks. I couldn't really be with someone just because I thought they were attractive

To be perfectly honest, if I'm dating a guy that I know isn't classically good looking, I am more hesitant to show his picture to friends, etc. But it doesn't affect how I like him.

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