I want to get a rough idea... Aspie males please enter!
ChekaMan
Pileated woodpecker
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Joined: 17 Aug 2010
Age: 46
Gender: Male
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I didnt actually play any role in that.
I think Everyone, regardless of NT or AS, is different in some way. Which would make your test pretty hard to collect research.
Im single atm, and as a student, it is doing wonders for me. Im a full time student, and an artist.
income is almost nonexistent...for now. but soon.....
Have girlfriend for over 4 years, no kids.
Current income: 38,420/year.
Income when we became a couple (not including overtime) $25,000.
That said, the hypothesis, that aspie men with money are more successful in attracting women, even if true, would not necessarily conclude that the only way aspie men can get women is to be rich. There are many examples of aspies on this forum who, for whatever reason, cannot get or keep a job. I'd say that the skills that lets one deal with the stress of a 9-5, 40 hour/week job are closely related to the skills that lets one get, and keep, a mate.
I think this is an important observation. Although not rich, you have a steady job and a girlfriend for 4 years. If those two things are correlated, it just might be because of what you've pointed out here. I never thought of it that way before but it makes sense.
nick007
Veteran
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Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in capitalistic military dictatorship called USA
I'm on disability & am unable to get any woman at all
Science of Sex Appeal: What Women Find Attractive
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PoKA-a5vEEc[/youtube]
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Data points:
Male
Married twice
First marriage to an inveterate liar, who seemed to be looking primarily for a way to escape her hometown - once this was stabilized, began playing the field (distinct from nature of second marriage in that she did not seek my permission, and attempted to keep everything hidden from everyone involved - eventually resulting in her moving in with her boyfriend, who thought she was unattached). No children from this marriage.
Second relationship came before diagnosis, but after I had abandoned all attempts to seem anything but what I am. This proved attractive to second wife, who had been dealing with way too much drama induced by typical human tendency toward lying and jealousy (as well as one sexual assault - fortunately, I am both large and soft, thus "safe"). One child, daughter, sired by me. Relationship continues, with another husband added (she is currently legally married to him, as he is in the military and can get her the medical care she needs); one child, boy, sired by him. Daughter is autistic, quite intelligent; son is also very intelligent, not autistic, but may have his father's ADD.
Multiple jobs, usually low-paying and short-lived.
More important to her than my income has been my caring for her and our children, the fact that our interests are compatible (but not always congruent - if we liked only the same things, that could get boring), and the fact that we can discuss matters on an "intellectual" plane, if you will, rather than having any disagreement break down into emotional storms. This has enabled her to deal with her own religious questions, as we can then research available data to find an answer acceptable to her level of faith, as opposed to her parents' insistence on rigid dogma and denial of free thought. (One wonders what they think their God gave them intelligence and free will for...) It has also helped her to accept her diagnosis of chronic major depressive disorder, as I have been able to point out to her that the dysfunction involved is not a matter of "weak will" on her part, but rather one of imbalanced brain chemistry - not her "fault", nor anyone else's, and not susceptible to being wished away by prayer or self-help books.
She also appreciates my offbeat sense of humor, and (oddly, in light of the above) my rigid ethical stance. (Check the thread on "Sci-Fi Ethical Questions" for an example.)
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Molecular_Biologist
Deinonychus
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Joined: 18 May 2010
Age: 45
Gender: Male
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I am married with kids. My income varies greatly since most of it is investment income, but over the last 10 years averages over $500K per year. My wife is Mexican. I do consider American women to be my enemy and I could never have gotten an American wife.
You are in the top 1% of income earners. I've also noticed that you happen to be older.
I think a more important thing to know is how much were you making when you found your wife?
Molecular_Biologist
Deinonychus
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Personally I'm not picky about looks.
However, I am picky about health: no drugs, booze, or obesity.
I would certainly marry a plain-jane who was otherwise healthy.
I blame my singleness as much on the misery of my doctoral program as my AS.
I am a highly intelligent NT. However, I never felt less intelligent as I have with my AS ex?-boyfriend. This forum has compounded that because I have no idea what is going on or to the purpose - I am a creatively minded person so scientific thinking can sometimes go right over my head-, but I will give my two cents as a gf (past fiance) of a man with AS.
He is 29, he works as an assistant manager at a fast-food restaurant,and makes about 17,000 a year. He has called off the wedding three times, and I highly suspect the biggest reason is money because he can get very preoccupied and depressed about finances. I am now at the precipice of our relationship most likely being over, though he still to this day maintains that he wants to marry me and have children with me. So, I hope that information helps you in some way? I've been trying to get him to view forums like this and other stuff about Asperger's but he is in denial or something since the concept is new to him. Attractiveness - well, he is very obese and also quite tall, and he is not what most people consider handsome, but I think he is cute and he turns me on.
In relation to what Molecular_Biologist wrote, my bf has made quite a big deal out of my obesity (I am also big, btw), and doesn't like my health issues. From what I can decipher, this is also another issue with our relationship although he is more obese than me and doesn't seem to think he will need to get any healthier (he consumes two to three Rally's melt hamburgers in one sitting, for example), he has clearly stated that I need to get healthier and thinner so he won't have to worry about me. If anyone can explain this hypocrisy, I'd like to hear it.
Personally I'm not picky about looks.
However, I am picky about health: no drugs, booze, or obesity.
I would certainly marry a plain-jane who was otherwise healthy.
I blame my singleness as much on the misery of my doctoral program as my AS.
Girls go after men/women with money because they are in fact materialistic gold diggers. And most guys only want hot girls so they can brag about doing a hot chick to their "boys." The majority of both genders are shallow selfish asses. That is the essence of the aspie problem in being unable to fit in or understand that character type. At least for me. Anyone else?[/quote]
Personally I'm not picky about looks.
However, I am picky about health: no drugs, booze, or obesity.
I would certainly marry a plain-jane who was otherwise healthy.
I blame my singleness as much on the misery of my doctoral program as my AS.[/quote] i blame your singleness on the fact that you have excluded a gigantic proportion of the population due to not wanting anyone who is obese, or who drinks, or who does drugs. that's your choice, of course, but you should be aware that it significantly narrows your options.
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In fact I'm so interested in your question; Invader, that I'm going to start a new thread with a poll attached in order to gather data as quickly and concisely as possible! :lol I hope that lots of people will vote on it.
![Smile :)](./images/smilies/icon_smile.gif)
PS. I will link it here once I've set it up.
![Very Happy :D](./images/smilies/icon_biggrin.gif)
.
That was a much better idea, to just use a poll. People are more likely to provide the unbiased numbers rather than rambling on about their own (ironically preconceived) subjectively biased notions of some perceived prejudice or another, and venting their own little subjectively biased views in some kind of "gender war" which they are again only driven to participate in for their own subjectively biased reasons.
The actual numbers, in their neutrality, would be far more interesting to read and interpret than the opinions of the bitter people making arguments against them in advance, having already decided for themselves what the numbers are going to reveal and that it's something that they don't want to hear! Such ridiculous projection.
Don't worry girls, I'm not calling you gold-diggers, far from it, but it stands to reason that those who are more capable of providing for offspring (and those who have a "personality" which shows that they take seriously the need to be able to do so) would appear as more adequate (and thus more suitable) mates, and I would expect that you could not reasonably disagree, without challenging this assumption on the generic and ambiguous claim of "sexism" rather than challenging the expectation with any actual evidence or addressing any points specifically... But then that is the whole point of asking this question! To cast my expectations aside and get to the real facts, so don't get the wrong idea.
I've asked you in another thread Invader and you never answered me - do you think the only purpose of a relationship is breeding?
I don't see my husband as walking genetic material, nor does he see me as a breeding cow. I couldn't care less if he can "provide" for me or our offspring - that has nothing to do with why I've married him. We both earn about the same amount of money and we each had lost our jobs in the past and relied on the other one for financial support. I see it as terribly demeaning to men to be seen as a source of income.
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"Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live" (Oscar Wilde)
Thirty something male
Reported AGI to the IRS: $150,000 plus (in case they're watching)
Dating situation: Single for the past several months, on and off dating for the past few years and several 3-7 year serious relationships prior to that (since I was 18).
Been asked to marry 2 or 3 times (I declined w/ excuses)
No kids.
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