How to date a friend of mine whom I want to be my GF

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22 Sep 2010, 2:13 pm

Are you still analyzing this?

Just ask her out.

Be brave. Be confident. Don't stutter. Don't look away. Look her in the eyes. Be a little flirty. Dont be awkward. Be casual. Don't behave like she's got something you want and you are trying to get it from her. Don't behave guilty. Other guys have asked her out before so she's done this! Not a big deal to her. You two don't need to be alone when you ask her, as long as there isn't anyone standing with you two. Don't wait for a "perfect moment" to ask. Do it soon.

Just. Ask. Her Out!

If she's not interested or if she's taken so what? She'll turn you down. Big deal. Besides a no is not a no forever.

Finally, you are VERY YOUNG. This won't be the last woman in your life. I'd be surprised if you two make it a year together. Think of this as just one building block toward more relationships and ultimately some future long term relationship.

ToadOfSteel
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22 Sep 2010, 8:11 pm

Dilbert wrote:

If she's not interested or if she's taken so what? She'll turn you down. Big deal. Besides a no is not a no forever.

Umm... it is kind of a big deal. Rejections hurt like hell, and I don't know what level of masochism people like you achieve to be able to just keep getting back up and asking for more. And a no usually does mean no forever, because she's not interested in you and never will be...

Mojave
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22 Sep 2010, 9:24 pm

ToadOfSteel wrote:

Dilbert wrote:

If she's not interested or if she's taken so what? She'll turn you down. Big deal. Besides a no is not a no forever.

Not necessarily, it depends on the girl. And, no offence, Toad, but I've read your posts and you seem to have a warped view on reality, so please refrain from giving me advice on dating. its not helpful.

hyperlexian
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22 Sep 2010, 9:56 pm

Mojave wrote:

ToadOfSteel wrote:

Dilbert wrote:

If she's not interested or if she's taken so what? She'll turn you down. Big deal. Besides a no is not a no forever.

yeah, i've had a NO turn into a YES later on.... sometimes they just need time to think about it and let the idea ferment....

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ToadOfSteel
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23 Sep 2010, 8:40 am

Mojave wrote:

How is it warped? It's generally known that if a woman doesn't like you, that's it... there's no chance for you and her, and you won't ever be able to get her to like you, no matter what you do.

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23 Sep 2010, 8:57 am

ToadOfSteel wrote:

Mojave wrote:

How is it warped? It's generally known that if a woman doesn't like you, that's it... there's no chance for you and her, and you won't ever be able to get her to like you, no matter what you do.

well if she stays friends with you, there is always hope of her feelings changing. it does happen.

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nekowafer
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23 Sep 2010, 9:01 am

ToadOfSteel wrote:

Mojave wrote:

How is it warped? It's generally known that if a woman doesn't like you, that's it... there's no chance for you and her, and you won't ever be able to get her to like you, no matter what you do.

That's not true at all. There have been guys that I hated at first, and I've come to really like them. Feelings change, moods change, opinions change. Most importantly, people change.

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23 Sep 2010, 9:42 am

nekowafer wrote:

ToadOfSteel wrote:

Mojave wrote:

How is it warped? It's generally known that if a woman doesn't like you, that's it... there's no chance for you and her, and you won't ever be able to get her to like you, no matter what you do.

That's not true at all. There have been guys that I hated at first, and I've come to really like them. Feelings change, moods change, opinions change. Most importantly, people change.

Can I add something to the list?:
-first impressions are usually wrong and if you stay long enough you are going to be able to show her how wrong she was just by being yourself, this applies to other acquaintances as well.

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Metal_Man
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23 Sep 2010, 9:54 am

spongy wrote:

nekowafer wrote:

ToadOfSteel wrote:

Mojave wrote:

How is it warped? It's generally known that if a woman doesn't like you, that's it... there's no chance for you and her, and you won't ever be able to get her to like you, no matter what you do.

That's not true at all. There have been guys that I hated at first, and I've come to really like them. Feelings change, moods change, opinions change. Most importantly, people change.

Very true. There is also a chance that once she gets to know you better as a friend she may introduce you to one of her friends that could be even better as a girlfriend. Getting "friend zoned" isn't the end of the world all of the time.

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ToadOfSteel
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23 Sep 2010, 10:02 am

Metal_Man wrote:

In my experience, it is... "Let's be friends" invariably means "Not now, not ever, get the f**k out of my life"...

spongy
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23 Sep 2010, 10:22 am

ToadOfSteel wrote:

Metal_Man wrote:

In my experience, it is... "Let's be friends" invariably means "Not now, not ever, get the f**k out of my life"...

In mine it means she wants you around but she doesnt want to go out with you at that moment for some reason.

When a woman wants you out of her life she uses something like its not me its you(still rejects the other person but shows you dont want him to hang around).

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Mojave
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23 Sep 2010, 10:36 am

ToadOfSteel wrote:

Metal_Man wrote:

In my experience, it is... "Let's be friends" invariably means "Not now, not ever, get the f**k out of my life"...

Thanks to you Toad, this thread has been hijacked. All I wanted is advice, not your opinion.

Last edited by Mojave on 23 Sep 2010, 10:50 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Mojave
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23 Sep 2010, 10:42 am

Should I ask her out before class or after?

nekowafer
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23 Sep 2010, 10:59 am

If you have a class with her, I'd say after. It can be awkward if she says no and then you still have to spend time with her that day. If she says yes and then you have to spend time with her, you might be more inclined to get over-excited which could weird her out a little. So I'd say after class, or before she goes home would be better. That said, if you feel the time is right, go for it.

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Lene
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23 Sep 2010, 11:11 am

Mojave wrote:

ToadOfSteel wrote:

Metal_Man wrote:

In my experience, it is... "Let's be friends" invariably means "Not now, not ever, get the f**k out of my life"...

Thanks to you Toad, this thread has been hijacked. All I wanted is advice, not your opinion. GO away and get some self-respect. You've been putting on this "poor unlovable me" horse sh** for years now, and its getting tiresome.

He was giving advice. Let's be friends means just that; friends.

This girl may or may not have a boyfriend but either way she is not interested in dating you. There is no way to get her to go out with you.

nekowafer
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23 Sep 2010, 11:19 am

Lene wrote:

The OP has not received a response from the girl yet, he doesn't know if she's dating someone and has not asked her out yet. So Toad isn't really giving advice here.

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