It always seems like I fail at everything in life!

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letsGoBlues
Deinonychus
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24 Dec 2004, 6:16 pm

Melvis wrote:
letsGoBlues wrote:

Well my biggest mistake was not asking her out over the summer. Reason being? She was back in town for 4 months so she would have had alot more time and not under as much pressure. Course being right now shes only in town for 3 weeks then goes back to Quincy. She does come down on the weekends alot she said though but thats not enough time to do anything. I didnt have the guts to ask her out over the summer. UI think the new medicine helped me some.


Perhaps the summer would have been a better time but at least you actually did manage to ask her out- a huge step for you :) Hopefully next time won't be quite so hard.


Agree I should have. She seems really busy right now. I'll try my best and see if she will go to dinenr with me before she goes.


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Mel
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24 Dec 2004, 6:23 pm

letsGoBlues wrote:

Agree I should have. She seems really busy right now. I'll try my best and see if she will go to dinenr with me before she goes.


Just invite her as a friend- and a movie might be better unless you feel you can cope with talking to her for the whole of the evening without getting too stressed. I don't know what difficulties (if any) you have talking to people you don't know very well but it can be easier if you see a movie and then go for coffee- that way if you get stuck for conversation you'll have something to chat about (and you'll have got used to spending time with her).



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24 Dec 2004, 6:57 pm

Melvis wrote:
letsGoBlues wrote:

Agree I should have. She seems really busy right now. I'll try my best and see if she will go to dinenr with me before she goes.


Just invite her as a friend- and a movie might be better unless you feel you can cope with talking to her for the whole of the evening without getting too stressed. I don't know what difficulties (if any) you have talking to people you don't know very well but it can be easier if you see a movie and then go for coffee- that way if you get stuck for conversation you'll have something to chat about (and you'll have got used to spending time with her).


How am I going to ask her again if she said I put too much pressure on her? Maybe at work should I tell her I want to talk to her in private about my feelings?


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Mel
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24 Dec 2004, 7:12 pm

letsGoBlues wrote:
How am I going to ask her again if she said I put too much pressure on her? Maybe at work should I tell her I want to talk to her in private about my feelings?


If you really feel like you have you ask her out again I would approach from this angle: tell her that you're sorry that you came on too strong and that would like to be friends and get to know her better. Tell her that you'd like to go see a movie with her (have one or two in mind just in case that you think she might be interested in) just as friends if she'd also like to.
Just be aware that if she's only back for a couple of weeks she'll have old friends she wants to spend time with and family obligations too. If she's also working she might just be too busy to go out with you this time. But at least you've made it clear to her that you would like to be friends and that you're not hassling her for a relationship.
I also have to add that it would probably be better not to pursue going out with her in any way (even just as friends) right now.



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Deinonychus
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24 Dec 2004, 7:16 pm

Melvis wrote:
letsGoBlues wrote:
How am I going to ask her again if she said I put too much pressure on her? Maybe at work should I tell her I want to talk to her in private about my feelings?


If you really feel like you have you ask her out again I would approach from this angle: tell her that you're sorry that you came on too strong and that would like to be friends and get to know her better. Tell her that you'd like to go see a movie with her (have one or two in mind just in case that you think she might be interested in) just as friends if she'd also like to.
Just be aware that if she's only back for a couple of weeks she'll have old friends she wants to spend time with and family obligations too. If she's also working she might just be too busy to go out with you this time. But at least you've made it clear to her that you would like to be friends and that you're not hassling her for a relationship.
I also have to add that it would probably be better not to pursue going out with her in any way (even just as friends) right now.


I told her yesterday I was sorry. She said its alright. Should I talk to her in private about my feeligns though?


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SineWave
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24 Dec 2004, 7:37 pm

Say more than just that "sorry". Do you think currently, in her mind, that she believes that you are expecting friendship only? If not, make that pretty clear... but.. don't dwell on it or anything, just.. keep it brief and honest, like what Melvis said.



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Deinonychus
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24 Dec 2004, 7:37 pm

SineWave wrote:
Say more than just that "sorry". Do you think currently, in her mind, that she believes that you are expecting friendship only? If not, make that pretty clear... but.. don't dwell on it or anything, just.. keep it brief and honest, like what Melvis said.


Should I do it at work or talk to her on the phone?


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SineWave
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24 Dec 2004, 7:45 pm

At work, I guess. Just.. keep it brief, don't make it seem really serious.
The important, the most vital important thing you have to establish right now is this: You just want to hang out with her, as a friend. You are not obsessed with her, and you won't become a stalker. Ever.

I've had a girl once think I was a stalker, due to a somewhat similar situation.. it sucked. I wish I could tell her "don't flatter yourself, I'm too stuck in my own world to actually care enough to STALK someone!" :P



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24 Dec 2004, 7:56 pm

SineWave wrote:
At work, I guess. Just.. keep it brief, don't make it seem really serious.
The important, the most vital important thing you have to establish right now is this: You just want to hang out with her, as a friend. You are not obsessed with her, and you won't become a stalker. Ever.

I've had a girl once think I was a stalker, due to a somewhat similar situation.. it sucked. I wish I could tell her "don't flatter yourself, I'm too stuck in my own world to actually care enough to STALK someone!" :P


So I shouldnt have her call me instead? She seems a little freaked out by it most likely.


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SineWave
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24 Dec 2004, 8:09 pm

I don't understand, how/what/why is she freaked out by?

Well, I was thinking work because you could have a casual, no-big-deal conversation... the phone seems a bit more formal, I dunno. But I'm biased, I have a slight phobia towards phones. :P



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24 Dec 2004, 8:13 pm

SineWave wrote:
I don't understand, how/what/why is she freaked out by?

Well, I was thinking work because you could have a casual, no-big-deal conversation... the phone seems a bit more formal, I dunno. But I'm biased, I have a slight phobia towards phones. :P


I have a terrible phobia about phones- I won't ring people up (except my mum) and I never answer the phone- if I'm alone in the house I'll just let it ring then find out afterwards who it was.

But anyway back to the topic , work would be a better place to talk her. But it all depends on what you mean by 'your feelings about her'. If you mean that you'd like to be friends then yes it would be a good idea, if you mean that you want to date her then no- she already knows that.

Mel



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25 Dec 2004, 12:32 am

At work she was wearing one of her soccer sweatshirts and on the back it has her nickname on it "Lin Rin" If I called her Lin Rin to be cute would she be mad about that you think?


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SineWave
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25 Dec 2004, 12:36 am

She probably wouldn't be mad, but I doubt she'd see it as cute. Well, it all depends on the.. context of the situation, how you say, what your mood is, what her mood is.. blah blah. I'd vote to forget about it, though I don't see why she'd get mad if you did say it.



letsGoBlues
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25 Dec 2004, 1:05 am

SineWave wrote:
She probably wouldn't be mad, but I doubt she'd see it as cute. Well, it all depends on the.. context of the situation, how you say, what your mood is, what her mood is.. blah blah. I'd vote to forget about it, though I don't see why she'd get mad if you did say it.


I mean if I said like "hey whats up Lin Rin" Would she have a prob? If I started calling her Lin Rin instead to try and be cute would she like that you think?


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25 Dec 2004, 1:13 am

It's impossible for me to answer, really.
The problem is:

- I don't know her
- I don't know you
- I don't know what she thinks of you
- I don't know what she thinks you think of her

:P

For all I know, she's terrifed of you. Or cautiously interested in you. Or simply friendly towards you.

Do you know her well enough to give her nicknames? That's tough to know... I'm not sure if you even know that.



letsGoBlues
Deinonychus
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25 Dec 2004, 1:15 am

SineWave wrote:
It's impossible for me to answer, really.
The problem is:

- I don't know her
- I don't know you
- I don't know what she thinks of you
- I don't know what she thinks you think of her

:P

For all I know, she's terrifed of you. Or cautiously interested in you. Or simply friendly towards you.

Do you know her well enough to give her nicknames? That's tough to know... I'm not sure if you even know that.


Maybe thats why she wont give mer her cell number? Also she said when we go out I said "I can always pick you up" She said I can meet you there. She seems like the kind of gal thats real cautious.


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