Why are women so insecure?

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I know and am secure about my looks. But when it comes to my age, personality, average or the kind of talents most men are worshipped for, I know i'm in trouble.

At 12 I knew males had it more luckier. But ever since I was 23, maybe they aren't. I still feel as unlucky as them despite my gender. I'm perhaps more open than I use to be. Most females tell me to "hide my rejections" or pretend that I praise more talents than looks." I still have this crap and frankly since I've understood aspie men better, it's all BS. That doesn't give reason for women to look for men poor than them or the other way around. I never knew though until being 25 that it really is game of social status...so go and figure. I use to imagine in my own head about who it was you were attracted to and if that person showed the same interest. As for the unwritten rule, you had to look as pretty as your status...even though that is an unwritten rule for us. Being pretty is more than natural from my appearances. If you're to attract a guy, it isn't about about how much you make or what you sell but how well you can sell yourself. You have to look very appetizing toward the appetixing sex. You may look pretty but there is still much more eye candy to be spent on clothings, makeup, hair, body, body-language and looks.

I seriously had no idea how much a "high class' lady had to act and look as much as the guy. Now I have no sympathy for guys who are looking for updown girls unless they're like myself. Even then I guess we think we want a higher expectation than our own.

In my opinion, women (generally) are insecure is because they're brought up that way. They're taught to be meek, mild, & submissive. This can lead to a helluva lot of insecurities.

I came across a case some years ago about a lady who was unexpectedly widowed at the tender age of 50. She had never lived on her own; went right from her parent's house to being married. So after her husband died, she sold everything & moved into a rest home; meals & laundry provided; utilities included. She lived there for over 30 years. Hubby had always taken care of the finances, repairs, etc, so she was totally lost when he died. She had no interest in learning how to be independant. I think that's kinda sad.

My husband is the same way. After his 1st divorce, when he was 20, his parents let him move back home. He never learned how to take care of himself. He sure learned in one helluva hurry when I got my CDL & went out on the road as a long-haul truck driver! However, in the interest of marital harmony, I had to give up the job I loved. I now make do with working as a truckstop cashier. Over the years, he's been very ill several times, & is now legitimately needy. But his constant requests to be tucked into bed (like a little kid) DOES get a bit tiresome sometimes...

I wouldn't know but I do feel insecure around both genders. I feel in the same process I have to pretend and be both of them. I KNOW I have to very very pretty and youthful looking. I know I've never had this youthful attractive look since I was 10 or younger. People use to comment on how I looked like the teacher or acted so. I know it seems to hard to believe but even at this age I knew I was not attractive to guys even though it was the opposite for myself.

Yeah. I get told that my loud voice is "unattractive" etc.

Guys are allowed to be ugly if they have social skills. Girls regardless, are expected to be soft, feminine and beautiful.
On the internet, males are a lot nastier than they are in real life. Women get torn to shreds like pieces of meat just for looking normal.

Women from my experience, aren't as harsh on the apperance of men on the internet and probably real life.

As insecure as I am both physically and mentally. I've had some guys tell me that I looked like something I was not. I'm not as vocal which is true but I'm also not as "ugly" or lady-like. It's as if I really can't connect to guys unless I'm willing to accept or be naturally the feminine.

What is feminine if you don't look the role?

and the very-socially-inept girls are accepted if they have a bit of beauty while the socially-inept guys are mocked and torn to pieces unless if they are drop dead hot or celeb.




I didn't get this part.

.......but you do expect us to be martial artist with good jobs....

The question was "Why are women so insecure". That is the question I answered. This is not a man vs. woman issue and I do not see why you feel the need to deviate from the original topic.

Gender roles and a bit of biology. I think that I'm pretty logical, but I'm also extremely sensitive and insecure. I don't identify with either gender.

I would never on my life date you, but its not because of your job. It's because your ignorance is so prominent it's sickening.

Wheres your proof of this? I've never seen it in people here or other forums. I can gather proof of guys blatently treating women like a piece of s**t on the ground for not being model gorgeous in a heartbeat if you want.

As a very socially inept girl with a bit of beauty, I can say your perception that we are accepted is false...unless you mean accepted by 250lb, 50 year old married truckers who haven't showered for a few days.

Accepted by an average guy of average build who is within a few years of our own age, showered within the past few days and it not married, no, we generally are not.

First lets talk about what "a bit of beauty" actually means. I define it as not having butt ugly facial features. Quite simple.

But most of the men in my part of the woods would define it as exceptional facial features, pearly white straight teeth, a nice smile, no body hair below the eyelashes, no stretch marks, no abdominal pouch, no saggy skin, no saggy breasts, no cellulite...the list goes on.

If you don't want a woman with all of these imperfections, fine, but the problem is too many men around here will zero in on even one of these imperfections....for relationship purposes, not just a one night stand, because in the back of their mind they are comparing her to all the photoshopped images they have been brainwashed with.

I can't think of any (ethical) way we can test the hypothesis and arrive at any real conclusions. People who keep claiming testosterone makes all the difference between a man and a woman don't know what they're talking about.



So basically, regardless of the pretense of equality women aren't held up to the same standards that men are held up to and still aren't taken as seriously as men are in a traditionally men-only setting.

It's funny that what you consider a luxury I consider the exact opposite of a luxury. That kind of mindset probably has nothing to do with many women being insecure either.

People who are under stress don't seem to generally perceive others' stresses; they seem to perceive if/that others hold benefits that said perceivers want.

Men and women will really never understand the stressful situations felt by persons of the opposite gender because of not having been a person of said opposite gender and so not having been subject to the stressful situations that affect persons of said opposite gender.

It isn't "funny" that a man might perceive being considered as having less responsibility and being taken less seriously as being a luxury if having been more responsible and serious has been an unmet societal expectation for him, while a woman who hasn't met society's expectation of being considered less responsible and serious but who wants more responsibility sees it as being a burden. It seems completely predictable.

Gender stereotypes are obviously stressful for people who don't fit them, but it doesn't seem to make sense for people who are literally incapable of being in each others' positions to argue about which stereotype causes the most stress, if both obviously cause a lot of stress and if none of the people arguing fit said stereotypes anyway.

How do you mean? Are you saying that since you do not wear a ton of makeup and you do not dress skanky so guys will notice you, that you are not "ladylike"? Sounds like you victimize yourself a lot more than you should.

Go away!!