Men: What do you expect of women in a relationship?

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I disagree, but alright, whatever. The thing about needing to stop being asexual, however, is just stupid. It also shows that you see a relationship as little more than sex if that's one of your main requirements.

Asexuality would be a dealbreaker with me, too, and I don't have many dealbreakers. I unashamedly admit that sex is something I expect from a relationship.

I'm with ya on that one. I do not think it is unfair to expect people to be on the same page with you where sexuality is concerned. It would seriously complicate everything and make the relationship dysfunctional any other way. I do not think it makes sex a main requirement, just a realistic expectation in a relationship with someone who places value on sex. Nothing wrong with that as long as both people agree.

[quote="Tim_Tex"]...Convert to Christianity (if necessary)
Stop being asexual (if necessary)...[quote="Tim_Tex"]

That, I think is unfair. Why would you be with someone in the first place who was asexual or not a Christian if these are important to you? To think they should convert or change is just as realistic and decent as them expecting you to become a bisexual practitioner of Santeria because that is what they like.

Tim_Tex didn't say he wouldn't go out with someone who's asexual, though, he said he expected her to stop being asexual...

Was that directed to me? That is what I thought he said as well, which confuses me. Why would you date an asexual and think they would suddenly stop being asexual. It seems more logical to just date someone who fits with your sexual orientation in the first place, like I would not try to date a straight woman... that would get us nowhere fast.

It was aimed at you and Hector, yes.

I personally wouldn't mind if there was no sex involved in a relationship, but TBH I'm sure that wouldn't last long. I'm far from asexual myself

Good deal. I think what you said about lasting long might be the key point with all of this. Two people could get on wonderfully for awhile... but could you imagine forming some kind of deeper attachment to that person only to have the relationship fall apart over sex? I think that would be sad. It seems more sensible to avoid the heart break and just be platonic from the start. But I guess if the non asexual has a low sex drive it might work. But like you, I am far from asexual and I couldn't last for the long haul like that.

I think you've hit the nail on the head there. Eventually sex will come up and if everything gets ruined over it, that'd just be horrible.

I disagree. Sex can have a very important emotional component for a man in a relationship, in which his perception of his partner is not one of objectification. Sex is not always all about sex.

I don't think I made myself clear. I had a problem with Tim_Tex expecting a partner to stop being asexual. As I explained in my last few posts in this thread, I understand sex is an important part of a romantic relationship.

I think that if one wants sex in a relationship, one should not go out with an asexual. Or is that too simple.

Chronos -
This is a good idea for a discussion topic. I would also ask for those men who able to identify their needs and expectations in a relationship, if they are also willing to reciprocate those same needs and expectations if thejr partners had those expectations? In other words, if he requires emotional closeness, etc., is he willing to reciprocate? If he needs understanding or help when he is sick, will he also be understanding and helpful when she is not well? When my friends tell me how their partners are not meeting their needs, they provide an example of their partners callousness. However, I have witnessed the same lack of care directed to their partners.

In my limited experience, It seems usual that whatever one person complains of receiving (or not) in a relationship is also often exactly what they are giving (or not).

Well usually I would say something like to keep acting the same way she was acting before the relationship started(I have had some trouble with those who pretend they care about similar things and then once you start dating they say they were just pretending, I can date a girl thats into different stuff if she is interesting enough so theres no need to lie about who you are), however as chronos provided a list I´ll try to do the same:


-to be able to make dinner and show me how to cook(I suck but I´d like to learn ad having to cook everyday would probably be a pain for almost everyone I know).
- To be able to make me feel like Im the only person in the world a few times a month(its very nice to know someone cares about you).
-Be emotionally sensitive.


If she can remenber where I left my things and so Id be very impressed but thats not a must because Im usually the one losing things so if something gets lost its not her fault.

If a girl thought she was asexual until she met me, I'd be flattered on the face of it. That's all I read from "stop being asexual", nothing more.

as usual, i agree.

my hubby was christian, and i am atheist (sometimes agnostic). he is less "christian" now, though he still believes in a higher being. he says he is maybe a theist or deist - he believes in a non-personal god.

and the young product of our union is somewhate agnostic, but thinks that god is "positive human capacity like love, trust, or an inexplicable connection with other people. but believing doesn't change anything in reality."

we've had some spirited arguments!