What do you feel when....

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Yeah. My 10 year old cousin brags about her "boyfriends" to me and I'm tempted to tell her that "he's your babysitter, not your boyfriend." She'd get pissed at me but it'd be funny. She's the only person I know that's at least 10 years younger so there you go.

Hi, judgmental.

I'd actually have to argue with this point that there's a learning disability and a neurological impediment - both are there. A lot of us understand a lot of the social rules, understand how we're supposed to act, and we typically fail out not by what we do and aren't supposed to but by what we don't do - not because we don't know how but because our nervous systems literally won't let the words flow out quick without stuttering, won't let us give a smile across the room without our faces twitching out or having only certain facial features move but not others - which completely changes the context from good behavior to creepy. Also, when you go into an environment, feel the entire top of your head (in and out of the scalp) tingling, feel like there's physical pressure weighing down from every angle and crushing your cerebellum into submission, the end result looks exactly like shyness. We can't differentiate it to the outside world and, even if we could, to admit to having a disability doesn't bode any better (weak, disabled; six one, half a dozen the other).

I think everyone finds a point to which they can improve and a point to where their genetics will literally stop them cold no matter how much they know or how much they've experienced. Hopefully for most of you that ceiling is high enough to work within.

Like I say time and time again here, it's SO DAMN HARD to find an appropriate venue to work on socialization. And it's even harder to learn the cues, what to talk about and what not to talk about, how to carry yourself in public and so on. And it's even worse for me since I was raised in a sheltered childhood - my parents kept from interacting from the outside world. I feel like I need to start from square one again. I think I need to consult a therapist or another professional who can help me work on my social skills to the point where people can't tell I have autism. It just feels I have a LOT of catching up to do.

I guess it used to bother me a lot when I was younger (like 14-15) and you really just wanna be like all the other girls. Eventually I came into terms with being different and accepted it. Of course I only have "mild" aspergers (and a couple of VERY NT sisters). Finally, and most important, my aspie traits make me really good at my one passion which is veterinary medicine.. So its a fair trade. But it did take me 26 years to find that out. Now, if you ask me, I would not change a thing if I had the chance.

I usually think something along the lines of
"I do hope that the sushi shop is not out of the smoked salmon sushi rolls!"

or

"If I spent 5 hours working on my assignment tonight, then I can take the weekend off."

How do I feel when I see couples walking down the street?

I feel they should walk faster and move over so they don't take up the whole side walk.

Apart from that I don't really care, I know I'm a later bloomer but wishing I wasn't isn't going to change anything.

I feel like they're older than I am, even though I know they aren't.

I get a little frustrated and try to see what I can pick up from it.

Like I had been a little awkward in talking to a girl I like about two months ago... this guy I was with noticed and asked me about it. I told him what was up and he basically just went over and talked up her friend really easily and I was basically shamed... considering he's 8 years younger than me. It's hard to manage my actions at a fast enough pace for normal human interaction... He called me strange for doing some of the things I do. So I'm just working on changing the way I interact with people... until then I don't even have social ability comparable to someone 8 years younger. It's pretty sad really.

this

My sister's friends are all about 5 years younger than me and all starting to settle down, which I find scary. Weirdly out of my group of friends from when i was growing up only 2 of the guys have got married, leaving 4 of us still single. It's like our generation didn't know how to date. None of us have really been in a relationship.

When I see them getting together, I think: "They're far too young." I've grown so much over the past few years that I know if I had got married so young I would have regretted it. But then it took me longer to mature emotionally. I feel like I have reached the place they were when they were in their early 20s, but I am so much older. It's very disconcerting.

You are in the wrong thread. This isn't about how you feel about PDAs.

I was asking how do you feel when you see people 10 years younger than you yet they have at least 10x more relationship experience than you.

Yeah, PDAs are old now, anyway, smartphones are where it's at



If someone 10x younger than me had 10x the experience, there'd be something really wrong there...

I figure they need more. I can learn more from one relationship than they can in 10. It works out in the end.

Not bad ....but you still have much to learn.

Yeah that annoys me as well. Sometimes it seems like they're doing it only to show off. I remember my ex use to do that, get all affectionate in public, I hated it.

I guess I've gotten use to everyone having friends and relationships younger than me. This went on since childhood. I remember my sisters getting all kinds of friends and boyfriends and my relatives worrying that I was a lesbian or something. Still it is annoying to sit behind my window with a clubhouse just across the street and seeing people my age and younger with families, friends and partners. I know I've missed out on a lot in life and paying a huge price for those resentments. Some people enjoy being alone, I only enjoy being alone when I need it. It's even harder now that my sisters kids are gone. They gave me an excuse not to be alone and be a kid. I can't stand some adults to be honest.