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walking around through a busy shop pavillion...I saw the end

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HopeGrows
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24 Oct 2010, 4:20 pm

HopeGrows wrote:
So figure out what you'd like to give your time to. Be open to a lot of different organizations, and identify opportunities in your area. Try to focus on organizations that may attract women in your age range....and then get involved (face it - they love volunteers). It may take a while to meet someone in this way, but then again, you never know about the nice older lady/man you may meet who thinks you're a nice young man and introduces you to his/her daughter, granddaughter, niece, etc.

Getting opportunities to meet lots of different people obviously can be difficult for Aspies, because you typically don't function well in bars, clubs, etc. But a volunteer organization doesn't have those kinds of drawbacks (noise, stimulation, 30 seconds to make an impression, etc.). You'll be able to increase the size of your social circle, and you'll probably be doing some good in the world. Why not give it a try?


The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
One should volunteers only when he or she really believes in the humanitarian task he or she's doing and wants to help others.

If one wants to volunteer just to meet women, this might harm others. I find it unethical.


Are you kind of leaving out the possibility of accomplishing both? Because that's what I suggested - no ethics compromise required.


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nthach
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24 Oct 2010, 4:28 pm

Use the internet to your advantage - gather your interests and join a few meetup groups based on your interests. AND GO TO THEM. It's OK to go to ones that tickle your fancy.



ToadOfSteel
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24 Oct 2010, 10:53 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
One should volunteers only when he or she really believes in the humanitarian task he or she's doing and wants to help others.

This.

Why do you think I'm still at my church?



HopeGrows
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24 Oct 2010, 11:04 pm

ToadOfSteel wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
One should volunteers only when he or she really believes in the humanitarian task he or she's doing and wants to help others.

This.

Why do you think I'm still at my church?


Well, how will you ever try new volunteering opportunities if you won't allow yourself to be involved in things you may not know well? You have to give yourself the chance to grow. If you try something and you don't like it, there's no shame in moving on and trying something new. Hopefully along the way you'll find a few causes or organizations that are a good fit.


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jadw
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29 Oct 2010, 9:20 am

Quote:
The problem isn't always that the person is not physically attractive. I imagine we with AS are just not doing something that NT's do.

If anyone has any clue what that might be, feel free to share.


I find there are hurdles with this and it depends which one you fall at
- how you look/dress (honestly, only a shallow idiot minority care this much about looks)
- you will probably fail if you smell / aren't clean
- you will have better success in situations where you have a lot in common with other people
- if you talk to someone and they don't like you, find someone else (with this I get about 5% success rate)
- if you have a lot in common with someone ask for their msn/number
- If I can get someones MSN I can chat to them otherwise I don't get any further.

Also, most people are experienced with body language/general knowledge and don't ever seem to have spent any time in their lives by themselves. That's the difference I've noticed.


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These are the things we've missed out on
Closeness illusionary, intimacy lost
I stand alone now, this is all that I've got
This is all there ever was all along...

When the fog clears and the clouds disappear
We will see with clarity, this is what remains here
You are all that I have now, you are all that I miss
Since when did we need more to life than this?