im looking for a boyfriend
The_Face_of_Boo
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Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,050
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
Oh c'mon, many of us are smarter than that.
The OP is most probably a guy....
but... fyi... i believe she is in oregon, and she said elsewhere that the lovely lady in the avatar is herself.
lol , that fast?
i mean that she got PMs, not an LTR already established.
The OP is most probably a guy....
i can be cynical too... i did consider that possibility (very few posts, new member, just the one photo of herself, sketchy profile). but i was giving her the benefit of the doubt.
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I'm a lucky f****.
Aspie or not, comments like that are disrespectful and crass.
I'm a lucky f****.
Aspie or not, comments like that are disrespectful and crass.
You misunderstand, I am not against her being American.
Whatever. I don't have time for ya.
Sorry then - I must have misread it =-)
Yeah, because having listed herself as a diagnosed Aspie, you'd expect that she'd be really good at following social cues and doing things "normally" instead of coming straight in with just a few posts under her belt and directly stating her wishes so concisely.
Seriously?
The great irony here is that this particular section of the forum is about 95% guys complaining that women are evil, 4% females trying to advise the guys, .09% females having relationship problems, and .01% women looking for relationships....yet, when a very attractive, available young woman drops in and specifically states that she's looking for a boyfriend who's non-judgemental and kind, it takes all of about 3 posts before someone tells her what she did wrong in her original post.
...and then it's back to business as usual with some of those same guys wondering why they can't get women...
If I were a woman, I'd give up on us too if we can't do any better than that..
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,050
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
Yeah, because having listed herself as a diagnosed Aspie, you'd expect that she'd be really good at following social cues and doing things "normally" instead of coming straight in with just a few posts under her belt and directly stating her wishes so concisely.
Seriously?
The great irony here is that this particular section of the forum is about 95% guys complaining that women are evil, 4% females trying to advise the guys, .09% females having relationship problems, and .01% women looking for relationships....yet, when a very attractive, available young woman drops in and specifically states that she's looking for a boyfriend who's non-judgemental and kind, it takes all of about 3 posts before someone tells her what she did wrong in her original post.
...and then it's back to business as usual with some of those same guys wondering why they can't get women...
If I were a woman, I'd give up on us too if we can't do any better than that..
Your estimated stats is the very reason why we're doubting the genuineness of this thread.
Ever heard of the term "Too good to be true" ? In my experience , this term is always true.
I am not so quick to respond to these "I want a boyfriend" threads because it's usually a matter of everyone trying for the same girl at once. But more the problem I have is that I'm from the UK and most people on here are from the USA. You didn't say which country you were from, therefore I assume America by default, which for me is a bummer anyway.
Though, at my university, those with Aspergers' get a mentor (one person who sees them all) and he told me there are girls among us. I've only known of 2 or 3 in the time I've been at the university but the only one I actually met already had a boyfriend. Problem is, women work differently from men on the Spectrum and thus, it's not as easy as it seems.
It seems that every opportunity and outlet has it's disadvantages to such an extent that they're all equally balanced in terms of their pros and cons.
_________________
These are the things we've missed out on
Closeness illusionary, intimacy lost
I stand alone now, this is all that I've got
This is all there ever was all along...
When the fog clears and the clouds disappear
We will see with clarity, this is what remains here
You are all that I have now, you are all that I miss
Since when did we need more to life than this?
Ever heard of the term "Too good to be true" ? In my experience , this term is always true.
The phrase I'm familiar with is "if something seems too good to be true, it probably is." And, yes, that's usually the case -- but we're already up to one "probably" and one "usually." If your experience has been that *all* things which seem too good to be true have *never* been true, then I'm sorry for you...but that's not been my experience.
Not at all.
Now, have you ever heard the phrase "Nothing wagered, nothing gained?" That one, I've found to be 100% true, 100% of the time. If you never stick your neck out, it's true that you'll never get your head chopped off...but some of the best, most fun, and most fulfilling things in life come to us as a result of sticking our necks out from time to time.
I'm not saying GO NUTS!...but life -- real life, actually LIVED -- requires a little calculated risk from time to time!
Personally, I *choose* to use my ASD-type traits to help me with the calculation part in situations like this.. In this particular case, that meant determining what I'd have stood to lose by taking a chance and sending a message if it turned out that the OP wasn't real.. In other words, it's a question of how much I trust the OP..
Trust is *strictly* a function of how well we can cope with someone else's mistakes or misdeeds. Period. Tell yourselves whatever you want about what trust is, but that's how you're ALL assigning trust at the end of the day. If you're confident, you trust...if you're insecure, you don't. The more insecure you are, the more problems you'll have trusting people.
That's how it works.
So then...what was the worst that could have happened in this case, had the OP been a fake? Feeling embarrassed? Feeling stupid or gullible? I mean, that's about the worst I can envision happening, and frankly, WHO CARES?!? Are you guys so freakin' insecure that you can't cope with being embarrassed or feeling gullible?
Seriously? C'mon..
On the flipside, think about the best that could have happened if she turned out to be real and sincere? It's obvious, right?...I mean, if that's her in the avatar, she's obviously very attractive and looking for a boyfriend...and she came here to find one...so, clearly, there was far more potential upside than downside.
Shouldn't that have made it a no-brainer?
Look, I got news for ya....ALL OF YA....being on spectrum isn't a "get out of being human free" card. You still gotta be here until you die, and what you do with your time is largely up to you. As such, the way I see it, we owe it to ourselves to live. Like, actually live!
Get out there and live, people!