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The_Face_of_Boo
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12 Nov 2010, 12:31 pm

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Do I stand a chance of getting a girl or even real friends that would respect me?



Short answer : no.

A little longer short answer: With your current self, it's impossible.



hyperlexian
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12 Nov 2010, 12:49 pm

MR20 wrote:
I just want to be accepted and treated normal by people without changing myself, that's not that big of a wish is it?

everybody has to change. that's life as we all know it. none of us gets the magic ticket to have friends and girlfriends/boyfriends without having to change some things. i'd like to go unwashed but i would not have a husband if i stopped showering very often.


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nthach
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12 Nov 2010, 1:13 pm

MR20 wrote:
I just want to be accepted and treated normal by people without changing myself, that's not that big of a wish is it?

Nope. The truth hurts, you'll need to change but not quickly - over a period of time. For now, clean yourself up.



SuperApsie
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12 Nov 2010, 1:23 pm

MR20 wrote:
SuperApsie wrote:
What were the ideas/events that make you loose your enthusiasm for life in the first place?


heh I think it was when I realized no matter how hard I wished or tried, people would never accept me for who I truly am. Either I was too slow, too funny looking, or just behaved too weird for most people's taste.

That was around the seventh grade. I just stop caring all together really. It still reigns true today.


Quote:
Do I stand a chance of getting a girl or even real friends that would respect me?


This might be a longer path, but at least you'll move:

Hate them

But hate them smart, don't ever shout or show your disgust, never loose your cool, never harm someone. Instead think of it like a secret mission, an infiltration in the outside world. They are the enemy, they must not know who you are. They are wrong, you are right is the basic assumption, don't speak your mind, say the script.
See how they dress, see how they walk. When they say something, put more interest in why they said it to you. Imitate them, practice and go deeper inside the enemy line. Every time, you go on a mission, you have a plan, a good tactical knowledge of the place and the people and what they may ask to you, remember: you have to be invisible.
Every mission must have a debriefing, anything that might have been not understood have to be questioned. WP is here to help.
Deep inside the enemy lines you will find for sure some people that think like you and behave like you. Don't be hateful at first when you meet someone and don't be evil with each and every one outside: it might be an ally.

Know the rules, make some gradual goals, take it as a game.


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Moog
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12 Nov 2010, 1:59 pm

I don't disagree with your reconnaissance idea. SuperAspie, but why does it need to be done with an attitude of hate? I think that's bad advice. There's better ways to be motivated.

'They' aren't our enemies. 'They' are mostly as confused, scared, and ignorant as we are, just in a different way.

When you approach the world with acceptance, respect, kindness and openness, then the world will treat you in kind.


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Last edited by Moog on 12 Nov 2010, 2:00 pm, edited 1 time in total.

MR20
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12 Nov 2010, 1:59 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Quote:
Do I stand a chance of getting a girl or even real friends that would respect me?



Short answer : no.

A little longer short answer: With your current self, it's impossible.


Well f**k them then. People should be nice to and respect me regardless of how I am.

I haven't done anything to anyone. I try to be nice and respectful to everyone I meet, so people should start treating me the same way.



Last edited by MR20 on 12 Nov 2010, 2:12 pm, edited 1 time in total.

hyperlexian
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12 Nov 2010, 2:09 pm

MR20 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Quote:
Do I stand a chance of getting a girl or even real friends that would respect me?



Short answer : no.

A little longer short answer: With your current self, it's impossible.


Well f**k them then. People should be nice to and respect me regardless of how I am.

I haven't done anything to anyone. I try to be nice and respect to everyone I meet, so people should start treating me the same way.

okay, now i think i understand better. it sounds like it is possible you actually want to push people away from you. it doesn't take much effort to wash yourself, so if you choose not to do it very often, you are making a choice to keep people away from you, because people will not want to be around you if you don't make that small effort. your body odour creates a wall that will keep potential friends away from you.

it is a matter of showing respect for other people. by not bathing, you are sending the message that other people aren't important enough for you to make the effort of smelling decent.


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MR20
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12 Nov 2010, 2:12 pm

SuperApsie wrote:
Don't be hateful at first when you meet someone and don't be evil with each and every one outside: it might be an ally.



There are no allies, it's always the same. By the off chance I meet a friendly person, he/she might be nice to me maybe for a few weeks. After a while say maybe a month or two or after spending time around people I hang with, they start treating me differently. Like I'm alien or something they avoid me, they start talking down and disrespecting me like others because it's the "cool" thing to do. It never fails



MR20
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12 Nov 2010, 3:19 pm

Moog wrote:
'They' aren't our enemies.


BS

"They" make fun of you or shun you if you don't behave or look exactly like them

Quote:
When you approach the world with acceptance, respect, kindness and openness, then the world will treat you in kind.


This is the same POS my grandma tried to tell me when I was young. How has that worked out for us? We're living in a run down house with no hot water with half the windows broken out living from month to month off food stamps, crazy checks, and social security.



Moog
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12 Nov 2010, 3:36 pm

MR20 wrote:
Moog wrote:
'They' aren't our enemies.


BS

"They" make fun of you or shun you if you don't behave or look exactly like them

Quote:
When you approach the world with acceptance, respect, kindness and openness, then the world will treat you in kind.


This is the same POS my grandma tried to tell me when I was young. How has that worked out for us? We're living in a run down house with no hot water with half the windows broken out living from month to month off food stamps, crazy checks, and social security.


I know it's a right angle attitude change that most folks never successfully make, but I try nonetheless. I'm also on a limited income with a limited lifestyle.

Some people can use 'be nice folks' in a passive or negative way. It's a very complex subject that I mostly only have a non verbal understanding of. I'll let you work out the niggles in your grandma's plan, as I don't know her.

You have to be skillful with it. The attitude is part of a package, the engine of a machine. You still need the machine.

Your basic attitude seems evident here, and it does not incline me to feel kindly towards you, but I'm more forgiving than most. I can't imagine it endears you to the other people around you, though.

If you dislike my advice, do please continue on the track of your choosing. My results have been good, I just wish I could more successfully transmit my ways to others.

May you find the improvements you seek.


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Last edited by Moog on 12 Nov 2010, 3:40 pm, edited 2 times in total.

SuperApsie
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12 Nov 2010, 3:37 pm

MR20 wrote:
SuperApsie wrote:
Don't be hateful at first when you meet someone and don't be evil with each and every one outside: it might be an ally.


There are no allies, it's always the same. By the off chance I meet a friendly person, he/she might be nice to me maybe for a few weeks. After a while say maybe a month or two or after spending time around people I hang with, they start treating me differently. Like I'm alien or something they avoid me, they start talking down and disrespecting me like others because it's the "cool" thing to do. It never fails


You blew up your cover on someone you thought he was an ally. "Friendly" is not good enough. And yes there are allies but not that much.


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TechnicalPacifist
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12 Nov 2010, 5:36 pm

I used to have pretty much all your problems. Still have most of them. For some reason, things have gotten better. As cliché as it may seem, don't give up. Ever. Things can always change, for better or worse.



Greatsharkbite
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12 Nov 2010, 9:31 pm

Quote:

When you approach the world with acceptance, respect, kindness and openness, then the world will treat you in kind.


You misinterpret the meaning behind these words, not EVERYONE will treat you that way back, but some will and those are the ones you want in your world.

Bad things happen, the bathing suggestion wasn't overzealous. Compromise is needed, you compromise, the world compromises. Just by the simple act of bathing you'd get several fold back than what you're getting up. Also if you want the practicality behind doing so-- there are several health reasons.

You see all this tv advertisement balogna, about being yourself-- and that certainly is the path to a good life. But also be yourself and the best you can personally be. Thats really the only way to open doors to the things that you want out of life.



hale_bopp
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12 Nov 2010, 11:49 pm

MR20 wrote:
I just want to be accepted and treated normal by people without changing myself, that's not that big of a wish is it?


Yes, thats like asking to be able to walk on water. Sorry, but its the truth. If you can't be bothered improving yourself or at least trying no-one will accept you because they have free will.

In a perfect world we may get accepted with no personal hygene but this world isn't so.



hale_bopp
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12 Nov 2010, 11:56 pm

edit, misread



nathang
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13 Nov 2010, 12:02 am

From what I have seen, its about having confidence and swagger. I.E. I have seen some ulgy guys with decent looking women because of that. I dont know if that helps, but dont be too down on yourself because you think you are ugly. And also, if your family is like that, your probably better off without them. My family are jerks too, and I dont let them phase me. You just gotta keep on trucking, and good things will happen.