20 Nov 2010, 1:08 pm
20 Nov 2010, 1:30 pm
Silhouette-Song
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: 17 Nov 2010
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 191
Location: Canada
20 Nov 2010, 1:59 pm
Silhouette-Song
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: 17 Nov 2010
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 191
Location: Canada
20 Nov 2010, 2:01 pm
20 Nov 2010, 2:03 pm
We don't tend to bond easily with others, and attraction (at least for me) is more than just a pretty face. I think it's a bit of a paradox to get started in the first place.
But when it does...look out...it's some powerful strong stuff. It can be hard for us to understand the emotions and what to do...and even harder if the feelings are reciprocated.not for me
though I am one of the few guys here who admits I would (and have) had casual "fun"
heh heh...casual fun is completely different.
20 Nov 2010, 2:44 pm
20 Nov 2010, 4:23 pm
I'm really into a guy with Aspeger's Syndrome and I have difficulties around him.
It's just that I'm shy... How can I tell if he thinks about me more than a friend?During the summer when we watched anime together I could see him always looking up at me (I have excellent peripheral vision) and it got me wondering. Why is he doing that!? Ah, I'm so confused... Oh, look I'm ranting. Sorry...
Here is your chance to make life wonderfully easy for someone with AS. Tell him "I really like you and I was wondering if you want to be my boyfriend. But if not, that's ok, we can still be friends."
Ta da! Easy.
21 Nov 2010, 8:51 pm
22 Nov 2010, 12:08 am
Silhouette-Song
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: 17 Nov 2010
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 191
Location: Canada
22 Nov 2010, 7:58 pm
22 Nov 2010, 10:46 pm
How do you ask someone out? Or tell them you like them.
I know I will have to be very blunt (I usually am) but how does one do it?
Just say "do you wanna go to the movies next weekend?" or something.
Would asking him out to a Teashop work? He likes tea... Or is that a little bit to dorky?
Actually, I very much enjoyed a conversation partner of sorts wherein we met for tea. Since I've gone to university I've kind of hidden that disposition... But I don't think it's dorky at all. Especially with AS, I find it VERY tiring to be in a normal group situation where I find the conversations peripheral and meaningless. Being able to talk in a deeper sense with a person seems to only happen one-on-one, and again someone with AS might prefer the focus and "efficiency" of such conversation. The only other thing I can say is that once you really do want to initiate a relationship, be forward about it. I spend a lot of time trying to sort that sort of thing out, it is very stressful and oftentimes I just end of withdrawing.
Also, about the looking: I have found myself staring a lot but actually not at anything. Because of my height I tend to naturally hang my head, so at a 70% female school I find when I am lost in thought at a table with others (happens often) that I'll come to with my vision roughly angled towards someone's neck or chest(super awkward). So to be honest he could not really be "looking"/staring at you at all, he could just happen to be thinking and have his head in that direction. Of course he is a guy. I recognize that we are sexual being and staring at a female's person is commonplace. So take my info as you will
Regards,
Eldanesh
26 Nov 2010, 6:46 pm
I used to get really confused when asking my amazing aspie out (I didn't realise he was aspie early on).... he would often say no and why I asked him why he wouldn't come to events that I wanted to go to he would explain about the social anxieties etc. I told him that continually saying no might mean that I wouldn't ask him any more. I always did stuff he wanted to do and go places he liked. He said "Please don't ever stop asking me, I can't always go because I feel awkward and I'm crap at socialising". I did stop...for 8 months... and I missed him so much...dating other guys was never, ever as much fun as when I spent time with him. So I started asking him out to see movies, go for walks, play board games, all the stuff I know he likes doing. I tell him how good it is to spend time with him, how wonderful he is, how he makes me smile. I was embarrassed to say it at first but he really does bring out the best in me and I wouldn't trade him in for anyone.
I guess what I'm trying to say is don't waste time sitting at a computer, planning your moves...just go get him and tell him you like him, you want to hold him, hug him, kiss him and enjoy the time you get to share in his world...life is too short.
love and light
xxx
