GUYS: Do 'kept' women turn you on?

Post Reply New Topic

not really. i want her to be independent and want me not because i can provide for her. Part of me finds it a turn on but for me it is not the basis of a good relationship.

It depends what you mean by turn me on. NOT in a sexual sense. I'm dependent myself & being with someone who's dependent on me & supports me emotionally gives me strength & motivation to become more independent because I want to be the one taking care of my patienter instead of having em take care of me

i would never, never be the dream woman of any guy who wanted a "kept woman". i have a career and i do roughly half of the chores (i do cooking, groceries and laundry, husband does all the cleaning and yardwork. he irons his own clothes shirts). i do the budget and pay the bills as i am better with sums. we share the house maintenance stuff.

no major purchases are ever made without absolute agreement, and even small purchases are open to argument and potential veto (i.e. if i suddenly started eating lunch out every day, or if husband was purchasing a lot of apps for his phone, we would talk about it).

husband has slightly higher education, but i was the major breadwinner for most years (he is now edging me out). husband was always more of the nurturer/caregiver of our child.

i work quite a lot of hours, and even overtime when it is available. i cannot imagine staying at home for most of the day and doing... what? watching television? cleaning? cooking? ugh.

I don't want someone who worships the ground I walk on. We should be equals.

I'd like them to be free. This sounds very controlling and possessive.

That's a terrible attitude to have with other people. I would never treat anybody like that.

Yet if you were in her shoes, you would take every opportunity to get money from the state for doing nothing, simply because you could. How ironic.

I don't like your view and attitude one bit. It is selfish and controlling, and shows a lack of understanding that women are people too with their own needs and desires. Basically, you want a one-sided relationship where you never have to worry about anything, where she will never be unhappy, and you will never have to take responsibility for anything other than providing an income. That is an unrealistic and unfair burden to put on the woman. Sooner or later she will require emotional support from you, and if you don't give it to her, she'll dump you. Ultimately, boosterjones, this is how I see it:

If I love my partner when she is unhappy, when she is moody, and when she is angry, then I know I truly love her. If I can't handle her not being happy and I'm not prepared to give her emotional support when she needs it, even if it inconveniences me to do so, then I'm not ready to be in a relationship. Ladies: if my approach is wrong, feel free to correct me.

OK, OK, maybe I put it a little bluntly, but that's how it is for us....

Please don't think that I'm some sort of control freak or anything, yes I do love her, even when she's upset becouse as a matter of fact she's at collage at the moment and not too long ago she had a few issues with some of the other suidents, which is being sorted now out by the way,

However just to let you know, as it happens I did surport her emotionly though this and I will continue to do so in the future.

Also I DON'T just think that all I have to do is provide money for her so you can all get that out of your heads.

Lastly the reason why I like her 'kept woman' satus, is indeed due to the fact that I don't have to worry about her.

And no I don't mean her cheating on me, but rather becouse, as I have already said, of the fact that she'll have a happy life with few or no problems.

Some years ago I had a crush on a girl who was indpenent had a job and all that, but she also had a LOT of problems and I was worried sick about her.

Imadgine how much more worried I'd be if my GF had those kind of issues????

And anyway, does it really matter who does what? After all even girls like her are human beings and should have the same kind of respect as everyone else, sorry if my tone was rather harsh, but I had to make it clear to you that I'm not some kind of tyrant or anything ike that (the sex slave stuff was meant to be a joke even though it's true that I often take the lead sometimes) and that I have no issue with women who are indpendent and all that, but I will not be having me or my GF told that we are in the wrong, as NOTHING to do with ANY of you, ok.

Oh yes and one more thing she is for real as just spoke to her last night.

Goodbye Till Next Time

What he wants to talk about is his choice. If you don't like his threads, don't click them.

Someone who liked me because they were forced to rely on me, had no ambition, was not independent...that doesn't turn me on. And like someone else said, you do sound possessive. Being attracted to a girl because you like the idea of her being a stay at home mom, IMO, is different than being attracted to someone you can hole up in your house and make reliant on you.

If he HAD described her as a slave, had that really been disrespectful, anyway? Among many into BDSM, that may be an immense form of respect... I guess it never occurred to you that even being degraded, especially in sexual ways, may be a great display of respect between some couples. Everyone doesn't want to be boring, you know.

Otherwise, though... to put it briefly... yes, I do indeed want my future girlfriend to not ever work. That is the only solution possible. And yes, it is hot with a girl who needs me to take care of her.

well, idk about bragging,
but his spelling is simply terrible

were there any more examples that seemed to indicate bragging or is that all you got ?

Coming from the guy that brags about having an internet girlfriend.

This is similar to what I was going to say if he had actually called her that. If it was to transpire that they're into that stuff then no one on this forum has a right to criticise them for their sexual preferences.

Besides, excluding asexual people, I don't think anyone can honestly say they've never had a BDSM fantasy anyways.

lol @ assuming
1. most women with Aspergers or ADHD are simultaneously
affected enough to qualify for disability and not affected enough that they are off-putting to men
2. they are of average or above physical attractiveness
3. there's a plethora of men who are willing to pay for someone who doesn't work

Uh...I know lots of sexuals who say they haven't, and who are generally disgusted by themes of dominance and deliberately inflicting pain on others, let alone being TURNED ON by them.

Say they haven't, yeah. Say they haven't. But do they honestly say they haven't? I doubt it.

Basic human nature says everyone is turned on by those things at some level. Evidence of this is even in mainstream sex - slapping a girl's bum while having sex with her is pretty normal, yet it's S&M, isn't it? Using handcuffs is thought of as kinky but not generally labeled as perverted or anything, yet it's bondage. It's also considered pretty normal to be turned on by uniforms, because they tend to connote authority, and therefore dominance.

Anyway, I really don't wish to get into an argument about this.

Um...I think you've been watching too much porn.

I don't watch porn.