Rejected by eHarmony dating site? (Poll)

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This is, among other things, a lawsuit waiting to happen. Someone eventually WILL figure out how it works, and if that tends to exclude any particular group, the lawyers will be racing to the courthouse. Whether it's people with autism in particular, mental illness in general, or an ethnic minority, the judge won't have to deliberate for 10 minutes.

My problem with Eharmony - I have something like 1,250 matches on database over the last few years and less than 5%, maybe closer to 1% I even feel akin to enough to contact. If that's the best they can dial in from a personality profile I'm a little dissapointed. They advertise it as a place where you don't have to 'chum the waters' - hasn't been my experience. The more girls I have added as matches who have football jerseys on and black paint under the eyes at a bar with sports plastered all over their profile the more I think they just tabulate your questionnaire results, inform you about yourself, and hook you up with pretty much whoever they think you'd be able to sit in the same room with for an hour.

[quote="Grisha"]It's just like dating, this one didn't work out.

NEXT!...

Try OK Cupid (it's free) and for some reason I've had pretty good luck with Match.com (probably because of the volume)

Also, don't just post a profile and wait for the metaphorical phone to ring, you have to work it, especially if you're a guy..

Greg[/quote


[b]

Good positive attitude!

I agree! Don't let one bad experience get you down and discourage you from dating!

As always, I like your posts!

I am an extroverted (very) NT woman. About a year ago, I signed up for EHarmony. I didn't like their matching system. They matched me with men who were utterly incompatible with me. I was a member for less than a month and I cancelled.

I know what I want and don't want in a viable romantic match! I prefer dating sites that allow you to pick your matches. EHarmony has an incredibly tedious matching process that is unproductive. For me it was an utter waste of time and money!

thank you! i speak statistics and studies better than i speak human.

Last edited by hyperlexian on 12 Dec 2010, 11:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.

It's a rejection... how am I not supposed to take it personally? I'm incompatible with the world, it seems...

I agree. I gave up at 600.

The reason I stay - they renew me at $20 a month without committing for the year, seemingly ad infinitum. Lol, that cheap I don't mind it for now. But yeah, its kind of sad that I can look at so many of my matches and wonder why they're putting me with these people.

Don't waste your time with e-Harmony. Not only are they going to reject hard matches, and aspies could be a hard match, but most of the profiles on there are non-paying members. Since they don't distinguish between who's a paying member and who isn't, you have no idea if a potential match is able to reply, in which case they would have to pull out their credit card to do so.

Seriously why bother with that site (or any paid site). Okcupid has a better matching algorythym and is significantly more open to personal quirks. eHarmony (and paid sites) are awful and best avoided.

(Seriously I met my boyfriend on OKcupid. I don't know why people even bother with the other sites.)

The only up I'll give it, maybe in the past few months, I'm starting to see more successful and cute geeks on there rather than it be all sports (no diss to the jocks - just nothing in common) or seven out of ten interests being their kids (no diss to the dedicated moms either but, again, nothing in common).

That did get my attention. I think I'll need to try it one of these days soon, maybe even next week, to see what kind of difference I notice in that matches they're willing to throw at me. If its significantly more accurate than Eharmony I may just cut them off.

my thoughts exactly

For one there is significantly more questions. The questions are user generated, and range from sexual appetite to politics and philosophy. The truth is to get the OKcupid system to work for you, you have to answer at least 100 questions, and to be honest, the best results are often in the 300-500 range, if not more (there are thousands of questions). Honestly, most people I know who take the time to use OKcupid love the system compared to others. The regular users take match %s very seriously, I will not even talk to a person if they are not above 70%, and to be honest, I often look for folks in the 90%+ range.

How well does it work for me. Let me see, me and my boyfriend at 95% share alot of the same interests, we work in similiar fields (I do strategic planning and policy for IT, he is a programmer), and we don't really argue. I have been matched with other people on the spectrum, as well as those who have very similiar backgrounds (same birth city, same career, same education, same preference for the future, etc). It works REALLY well if you have the patience for it. Yes crafting your profile is also important, but this is a system primarily heavily used by smart people to find other smart people who take the time to answer the questions and believe in highly percise algorithm matching (eHarmony is extremely clumsy and generalized in comparison).

That's cool, so really the quality of the matches it spits back really has to do with how much due diligence I put in with the questions. If it is that helpful I'll gladly answer 500, 700, whatever I think it needs.