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do you think some men go throughout there entire lives without even kissing a girl, having sex or being a in a relationship?

Yes, I believe many do.

that is terrible though isn't it?

If you think it is, it is. I'm lucky enough to know what I'm (usually) missing, and I don't think it's worth the agony the lack causes to so many of us. Kinda hard to give that knowing to those who haven't the experience though. I am not a terribly sympathetic sort at the best of times, I prefer practical solutions rather than commiserations.

Attachment is the cause of suffering, so let go, and everything is fine. You're more likely to connect with someone if you're not totally hung up about it, bitter, unhappy and mad at the world and women over it.

sooooo. Jamesy, you start off saying that you are not misogynistic, then go on to explain all of the reasons why you think it is justified if aspie guys turn that way.


it's important to remember that for every male that never gets a girlfriend, there is a girl that never gets a boyfriend. there are an equal number of unattached males and females on the planet (roughly, though there are slightly more older females who are single, and slightly more single males in polygynist cultures). so why feel sorrier for the men than the women and make excuses for their attitudes?


it is heartening to read some male perspectives that disagree with you in this thread though.

I am sorry if i pissed of anyone.

It's human nature to blame others for your own problems, so yes, sadly, it can happen to some people. I've seen some members of this forum do exactly what you describe here, in fact.

However, the responsible and mature people - Asperger's or otherwise - would instead focus on fixing their own problems.

Hi, Moog, just delurking to tell you I like this ^. It describes me perfectly, too. It makes me most unnatural as a woman, as a result!

It's hard to know what conclusions to draw from that alone, though. What proportion of women are single by choice compared to the men? What proportion are happy being single?

true - so there is no reason to assume that single women are not rejected just as often as men over a lifetime, and no reason to assume that a large proportion of single men do not choose to remain happy bachelors for life. interesting point - how many single "incels" would never have sex with a morbidly obese woman (as per the BBW thread)? i saw a few men who complain of singlehood or lingering virginity who would not date a fat woman. this points to the idea that both men and women get rejected - even the people who supposedly get rejected over and over are doing some pre-emptive rejecting of their own.

+1 and +1

Hating others because of your own problems is completely illogical. It's like me hating people with more money because they're not coming to my house and giving it to me. They know I want it. Why don't they just make with it? I'll say thank you and smile and everything. wtf?

It seems like both successful aspie guys and aspie girls have something in common - its a number of factors that either make it happen or not, and its usually as arbitrary to the quality of who they are as how their personality, their physical appearance, and their vibe match up. If you look around you'll find some rather attractive and collected permanent singles, you'll also find some rather loopy people just as easily who don't seem like they'd have it together at all but that doesn't seem to be stopping them. Just like pickiness and lack thereof plays a defining roll so does the drastic mood swings in how society treats people just on issues of 'form'. Things that typically can only be worked on so much and which seem to mute the inner person or their conscious behavior in comparison and when you do figure it out its like working with eastern decorating principles - ie. what seemed like it should have worked didn't but, taking the vase off the dining room table and putting it on top of the hutch though changes everything.

I think it may be that the guys are not misogynist but rather they are misunderstood. Some women here call me a misogynist & I do NOT hate women or anything like that. People tend to misunderstand me & accuse me & assume things about me that are very WRONG

I think misunderstanding is easy for just about any reason. For some reason, it seems easier to label a person something than it is to stop, think, and decide if this person is really a -----, or am I just not understanding. Because admitting your misunderstanding someone may mean admitting that you are wrong. And few people easily admit that they are wrong these days.

There's option 3: get over yourself, lower your standards, date the first girl who shows interest in you, be thankful for it, and treat her well. A guy who can't get a date can be a great boyfriend if he's given a chance. Well, if a girl gives you a chance, take it, regardless of your attraction to her. Guys have the ability to date and be intimate with people they're not attracted to; girls do not. That's how I got the first date I've gone on in my life, as well as my first time having sex for free. So if you're not taking advantage of that ability, then you're only making things worse for yourself. (This doesn't mean taking advantage of the girl.)

I'm not interested in being with a girl I'm not attracted to. I'd rather remain single.

And tbh I doubt the girl herself would be happy if she knew you were only with her because you couldn't get any girls you actually liked.