I go fishing. How do I reel them in?

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Specific questions about specific topics that anyone reading would actually be qualified to answer. The broad "please write me a 3 paragraph answer that will help me live happily ever after" is never going to gain any realistic responses. Any response one did get to that question would have to be automatically suspect. Several pieces of good advice have been given but these are broad and generic and true. There are no short, easy to follow directions that will help.

alright, fine I'll give up my secret

there are these 7 magic gems called Dragonballs, scattered across the entire earth
once united, a magical dragon will appear to grant you 1 wish, anything you desire.
I heard a demon named Piccolo was after them...but that's probably an old wives tale

Shhhh. The dragon does not have a sense of humor about these things. You swore a sacred oath that the knowledge would not be shared!

Hey, he has to FIND the Dragonballs, as said, they could literally be anywhere on earth

1. We are getting off topic. Please avoid that. If you wish to talk amongst yourselves about random things, the random forum or a private message may be more approriate.
2. I'm not asking for a magic formula. I am asking for specific mistakes and successes that people have made in hope of helping to discover if the things done successfully may work for me as well (yes, I know every situation is different, but there are some specific instances that can be generalized other than the cliche be yourself advise). I understand that no one can make it perfect, but to say there is nothing anyone can do to help even the slightest bit is obsurd.
3. Don't read too far into the fish analogy. It's just an expression. Like "there are plenty of fish in the sea." I don't think women are objects, it's just an expression.

Last edited by jumanji on 29 Dec 2010, 11:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.

that's not something people can tell you, its something you need to learn on your own
as said, everyone is different, and there is nothing anyone can say that will make things easier

in that spirit
TIME TO ROCK THE DRAGON!! !

Kilroy and MidlifeAspie - you two made my day!

unless you like subs, then I cannot help you lol

You don't even know what you are asking. You want specific instances or stories about how my wife and I fell in love? How is that going to help you?

he wants easy answers but doesn't want to seem like he wants easy answers
as I said, learning about things like love, you can't be told, you have to learn on your own
sure people can give general tips, but those are easy to find (Eg google) and we wouldn't be saying anything new, or original
nor would he learn anything
he wants easy answers, or someone to fall into his lap

Easiest answer is to stay single

People keep saying "be yourself" because it actually works. If you find that it doesn't, it's probably because regardless of what you think you don't know who you are. If this is the case, your first task is to work on that and figure out who you are. Go outside, meet people (emphasis on "people" instead of "women"--meaning you should also make effort to meet other men!), step out of your comfort zone and try new things, etc. etc. Unless you have a really dumb definition of "success," you can't expect to have success in the dating world without doing all the legwork yourself.

Some people will give you advice on how to be an "alpha male" that will work to an extent, but then again I've always thought people who display alpha male behavior are the scum of the earth. Hitler got it wrong--Jews and the disabled aren't the problem.

Okay, I will take one more stab at this though I have no idea why.

What is your motivation for dating? First it sounded like you wanted to get married and then you denied that. Is it for long-term companionship, practice for when you want long-term companionship or the physical release of a strange woman under you?

If for long-term companionship then you absolutely have to be yourself because no matter what you think right now, this is the only thing you will be able to maintain in the long run. Taking other people's advice and doing what worked for them will not work for you because you are not them. This is one thing every person must figure out for themselves.

If for practice, the same applies. Why practice something in a way that you will not use when you start trying to do it for real.

If for physical release, hire someone.

The short version of how to get a GF, from my experience:

1. Meet lots of people. Far more than you think is enough. If only 1% of people show any interest in you, you need to meet 100 of them just to find one. You're not going to get by with just meeting the occasional new person at class or work. It really is a numbers game, like Sales -- you're selling yourself or the idea of dating you.

2. Get intelligent and realistic about who would be right for you. Everyone wants the perfect 10 in terms of looks, but in reality looks fade, and there needs to be a real person underneath. Also, given how in high demand that perfect 10 woman is, realistically what are your chances of landing that person? Realistically, what do you bring to the table, in personality, knowledge, experience, assets, and any other intangibles that would make you a good candidate to date? This question is easier than it sounds to answer, and not nearly as harsh as it may seem, but the point is that you really need to assess who is within your reach, and why.

3. Work on your own PR/Image. Don't be someone you're not, but everyone could stand to dress a little better and pay attention to small details that matter (like hair and teeth, or shoes matching your belt). Additionally, work on your social skills, and incorporate both positive (people being nice to you) and negative (people reacting badly to you) feedback in terms of what you work on.

4. Get a job, if you're not already employed or a student. Let's face it -- most women don't want to be the main breadwinner, and houses/children/other things are expensive -- most households need 2 incomes. If you are serious about a future with another person, be serious about your own future. There are a lot of jobs out there, some you can do from home, especially these days. You need to have an income to move forward with your life. It's really that simple.

5. Rock the Dragon!

moving on, menintights said everything relevant so I shant repeat

If I knew the answer to this, I wouldn't be on this section of the forum.