Would you break up with your boyfriend over this?

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Well, he can go to bed with the guy now for all I care.

It sounds like you'd rather have your ego pandered to than get along with people.

[quote="Moog"]It sounds like you'd rather have your ego pandered to than get along with people.[/quote

QFT.

It's hard to sustain a relationship with somebody that has a propensity towards pointed conversations and debating.

Good for him. Based on how this thread went, you were not a good girlfriend at all. He deserves someone who isn't interested in making him "whipped". The male friend disagreed with your ideas, he did not make personal attacks at you. Your ex-boyfriend had the intelligence to understand that; if the friend somehow insulted you, I'm sure your boyfriend would have stepped in. Now, he probably shouldn't have went to hang out with the guy the same day the argument happened (unless he had previously made plans with him), but that was clearly not a break-up-worthy act; maybe a week or two of no sex .

Now, if you'd rather have your ego pandered to than get along with people, you can find that on the Cosmo magazine forums, or worse, on the Don't Date Him Girl website. (Oops, didn't mean to give you that idea.)

I probably wouldn't have. If I were a girl and had a boyfriend I mean.

I think you guys are being too harsh because you were not in the situation and don't know how the frenemy or my ex reacted.

It's OK, traitors like him deserve to suffer. He cries over the tiniest things.

As others here have said; I don't think that was a bad thing; it sounds like he was trying to help but if you think of that as betrayal Alla; you should probably leave him because you probably have lots of other issues in the relationship

Wow. That makes him such a horrible person.

You're right, your OP was very ambiguous. It really was a case of 'here's some very limited information, now fill in the rest with your own biases'.

If the guy flat out insulted you, then perhaps I retract my last statement.

This is very insightful.

I'll sum this up with three points.

1) You haven't said what the verbal fight was about, maybe your ex bf thought you was being unreasonable and over-reacting.

2) Maybe your ex-bf wanted to hear his friend's side of the story (so he could help sort out the problem) something you clearly never considered.

3) The fact you've now broken with up proves you were just looking for an easy excuse to get out of the relationship (or at least thats how it looks from what you've said on here)

This sort of attitude will not do yourself any favours in the long run.

He has done something similar before, but not to the same degree. He claimed to love me and all but he would put his friends above me. That is because he felt inferior to me in terms of education. I am a PhD and he barely has a two year college degree. This fact did not sit well with him, although I was careful to not bring up my credentials much. He makes more money than me so I felt as if we were even in some way. Anyway, it is his personality that bothers me, not his credentials or income.

And yes, I was sort of looking for a way to break up with him because I felt as if our relationship was a rollercoaster. I need someone who is more stable.

Well it's clear from those responses you are clearly using tunnel vision and refusing to accept his or anybody elses point of view. Also.......

So basically you didn't like the fact he got upset easily, then you still aint happy when he doesn't let you walk all over him and make decisions for him, just because he chose to socialise with someone you had an argument with.

You really need to get rid of the superiority complex you are showing here. If your ex-bf has any common sense he'll now realise he's had a lucky escape.

Word of advice Alla, from somebody who has a professional doctorate, don't bother with anybody who does not at least have an bachelors degree, and honestly you should be looking for somebody with a professional or graduate level of education. You need to find a guy at least as smart as you, because you will keep running into these cavemen otherwise. I know it may sound silly, but truth be told most people who are uneducated are going to result in conflicts for you. It also sounds like while you are intellectually advanced, you could very well be emotionally immature. You seem like a very black and white thinker in certian ways. Which is all pretty normal for an intellectually advanced person on the spectrum, just realize it means you are going to have to be more specific with regards to the person you are looking for.

For example my criteria is a bit strange, while I will accept a guy with a bachelors in engineering or IT, I would not think about a guy with a bachelors in business. The average level of education for any guy I date is a masters, many are Ph.D.s, M.D.s and J.D.s. The reason I am so strict about this is because I cannot see a partner who is dismissive of my intellect or cannot keep up with me when I "geek out". Even the people I keep as friends tend to be incredibly smart. My partner sees me as restrictive with who I see, the truth is I just know who I will get along with. I cannot relate to everybody, so rather keep friends with people I can relate to on some level.

Just because you have a degree it doesn't make you 'smart' or vice versa.
just makes you experienced in your specific field.