How often do really good looking guys date ugly women.

Post Reply New Topic

I think it depends on self-esteem. I never had a girlfriend before so I once dated an ugly girl because she was better than nothing. But, we ended up breaking up. I think some of us on the spectrum might be inclined to date an ugly woman if for the only reason we feel like we can't do any better. I once felt that way. Though, to be honest, I just don't see myself dating an ugly woman again.

What good is dating a beautiful woman if she abuses and disrespects you?

A thread like this makes me curious into what logic aspie men are using to justify superficial appearance preferences.

I've taken advantage of beauty privilege plenty of times so I'm not naive. I know how men (aspie or NT) generally can be on this subject. That being said, when you make statements about your place on the Spectrum and how it lowers your eligibility for beautiful women, where do you include your need for an understanding, compassionate partner who will challenge you intellectually and emotionally? Are you assuming that will naturally be available? Due to beauty privilege and the lower expectations for achievement from women who do meet conventional beauty standards, it's very unlikely that an aspie man of any attractiveness or functionality will find a beautiful woman with a compatible personality. The odds are against you because, unlike your NT counterparts, ignoring your need for intellectual stimulation from a partner isn't easy. Such a person may exist but it's such a narrow margin that limiting your search to just that demographic would be self-defeating.

So the bottom line to this foolishness is that you, as an individual, have to find a woman who is attractive to you who also has a compatible personality. Anything else will not make you happy. The point to having someone is to be happy with them.

A post like this just causes me mild despair that I have to be lumped in with people who I have nothing in common with.

What makes a good looking male though? The people you think are good looking may not be by the majority of peoples standards. Who the %$^& cares anyway? Find someone you think is attractive and they you and everyone is sorted.

If you can't maybe you have an inflated opinion of your own looks or personality. I often like guys who many girls think are "unattractive", i'm sick of the worlds obsession with looks and judging me for what people I like look like.

Eh, I've seen plenty both ways. So, I contend that your premise is inaccurate, therefore your question invalid. Look at television and how many not so great looking guys without high paying jobs have really nice looking women. Is this yet another thread about how unfair the world is to men? I'm really tired of those. Speaking personally, if a girl didn't care about my income, that would be worth a ton to me. I'd make every effort to find something attractive about that girl. If she had a great job and money and wanted me to be a house husband, I'd be up for that for the right gal. I don't care about gender roles. I do care about not being bugged about my indifference toward moving up the corporate/social status ladder.

Your argument became invalid as soon as you used television as an example.

Define "ugly"....

In my experience there are few truly ugly people, and those usually involve at least *some* element of ugliness to their personality as well as physically. There are lots and lots of people who would never be able to make their living as models, and lots of variation among those, but I wouldn't call the majority of them "ugly".

~Kate

I rarely see any people who have a face that is just ugly. I have seen people with bad teeth and noses. However, those are correctable with plastic surgery.

I think that men date women who make them look good in front of their peers. When I was young, I was told I was very attractive. When I dated, very few of my dates actually tried to get to know the real me. They seemed to just drag me around as if to show off their "catch". I hated it! Some actually suggested even more beauty tips to me...push-up bras, redder lipstick, higher heels, shorter skirts....but NEVER offered me the money to buy these things - how selfish!! ! I should go out and spend my hard-earned dough on things that made them looked like they scored a hot babe. WHAT B.S.! !! Some even take you to dinner and won't let you order what you want. God forbid if you wanted a nice beer and some onion rings. NOOOOO!! ! It would make them look low-classed!! Most NT guys need a BEATIN"! !!

That reminds me of years ago... a NT guy was dating someone from his work. He was crazy about her. He talked about her all the time. She was financially responsible, independent, funny... he was so "wow"ed by her. Then before we got to meet her, he actually sat us down to "prepare" us to meet her because she "wasn't pretty". I remember he said, "She may not be the most beautiful woman to you but I think she's wonderful." We weren't a group of horrible people who'd stand up, point at her and declare, "SHE IS NOT PRETTY!" so I don't get what that was all about. Turns out that while she didn't look like any hot international model, she was pretty. She had a big, genuine smile and bright eyes. There was actually a lot about her that made her very attractive. Your first sentence really hits home to why this old NT friend felt compelled to forewarn us about her appearance, especially when it wasn't warranted.