What IS the secret to attracting a man, emotionally?

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To get a man emotionally --

1. Share some of his interests -- even if you're not totally into his hobbies, be enough into at least one of them that you can participate with him or know what he is talking about. It is ok to be a beginner, men love to teach stuff to women early in the relationship.

2. Listen to him! Men hate it when women tune them out, just like how women hate that same thing.

3. Never humiliate him or treat him like a non-person. His time is as valuable as yours. Don't talk on the phone when you're on a date with him, don't be late, don't leave him waiting

These are the three I can think of off the top of my head.

Others --

4. Cook for him, or let him cook for you, if that is his thing

5. Enjoy just being around him, without having to go out, do something expensive, or time-consuming. Sometimes it really is nice just to sit in with a girl and watch TV, a movie. talk, watch the rain outside, etc. Some of my best moments with my women have been while doing very mundane things, but we were both happy just being there with the other person.

Expanding on that, texting. Do not do it while on a date at all. Oh, God I hate that.

Uh oh, I break that rule all the time. >.<

It's probably just a pet peeve ofmine. I've always just been irked by it. :\ If you've been successful thus far, then you're probably okay.

Haha true. I know it's rude, but what if the text is something important? :O

Well in that case, I suppose it would be okay. Same as if you were using it to meet your date.

I mean during the actual date when your attentions are supposed to be on eachother. It's kind of annoying and discouraging if you're trying to talk and the date is texting. It feels like whatever the person's friend is saying is more important than anything you're saying.

Yeah, I see.
If we're having dinner or something we turn phones off because we both gets texts often and it's distracting.

Different men will want different things.

Some will be most rewarded by you doing simple, little things like making him lunch, being at the door to greet him when he comes home, writing/sending little messages saying you love him, etc.

I'm more in the category of wanting a woman who respects me the way I am and the way I see myself, is proud of me when I do well, and wants to help/see me succeed and grow. I'm definitely not the only one who is attracted to this "proud mama" attention.

Some have starting a family as a very high priority. I don't quite understand this desire, but those guys who want this, seem to look for a woman with a good home/career balance. Which doesn't mean she can't be a professional, but her being "married to her job" is probably one of the big turnoffs to these type of men, and maybe some others as well.

And then there are the guys who really want to protect someone, who want women who need to be cared for.

I'll say exactly what I always say on threads like this: Men. Are. All. Different. People.

I envision a day where people will understand that others are not all the same and that generalised advice is pointless. Oh what a day that will be.

I also used to wonder at this instinct until I hit my late 20s.... and then hormones kicked in (yes, even for men). After that, reproduction was on the mind...

Also, watching the idiots and human trash/cockroaches on the Maury show is more than enough to convince anyone that the poor/uneducated/underemployed underclass is out-breeding those of us with real IQs. Time for us to start having kids as well!!

No secret. First realize that all men are different, and men act differently at various points in their lives. Hence, there's no one single method which works.

E.g. If you're dealing with a shy guy, be direct? Sure. Unless the guy doesn't like you "that way" and then it becomes uncomfortable. If you're dealing with a guy in demand, act like you're in demand? Sure unless the guy thinks you're too much effort.

Point is there is no one method. We may prefer women who are direct (it makes our lives easier) but it is not necessarily easier for you especially if you don't want to hurt/put-off the guy and/or are willing to accept being "friends" because they're such a good buddy.

Personally...

If a girl tells me she's into me (e.g. I love you, I want to marry you, why won't you marry me?!?) then it's off putting to a degree. It made/makes my life easier, but it's stressful on her side.

If a girl plays hard to get (e.g. we text, flirt at work, go out to dinner and lunch but rebuffs my attempts to actually "date") then I put the emotional feelings into a locked closet and just accept the "friends" role.

If a girl gives me the cold shoulder... I go skiing (or other activities) as I have better things to do that switch into "pursuit mode" for someone who is obviously not interested.

If you're hawt (e.g. 8..10), have plenty of suitors and are dealing with a shy guy - be direct.

My thought is that when you are eating, you shouldn't be answering the phone, period. EAT! Especially if you are at a family dinner, or a dinner with a date -- both of you made time to have this meal together, to talk, to get closer. Now you're going to interrupt the conversation at the table to start or continue a completely different one with someone else? I would be highly insulted. I would put up with this a tiny bit before I made my feelings known, but I'd never get serious with someone who did this as a matter of habit. Want to marry that guy? Stay off the phone when he's eating.

If a girl says to me she "just wants to be friends", that's it for me right there. Men are simple creatures, doubly so if they have AS. I assume when a girl says this, it means she thinks I'm a nice guy but isn't attracted to me, so if I can get over any romantic feelings I have, I do so and she goes in the friend category. If I can't, I break contact so I can move on. Another phrase that generates this response is "I'm not looking for romance/a relationship right now". I believe in respecting people, so I respect it when a girl says things like this. The more I'm attracted, the more likely I'll just break contact to protect myself. Once a girl goes in my friend category there's no going back, because then it seems like the girl is just flighty and indecisive and I don't have the patience for that. If that happens, I'll probably just break contact entirely because I don't want to fool with what I consider an emotional game. Don't misunderstand, I'm not trying to judge. You have the feelings you have when you have them, and that's fine, but I have to protect myself too, and I personally don't want to get involved with that. Other guys may be different but that's just my take. I can't handle the emotional roller-coaster so I don't get on it.

There's something to be said for dating people "in your league" as well. Fair or not, there are standards of beauty and the closer you are to them, the more options you have. I myself consider myself a 6-6.5 but in dating, I aim lower 4-6 because I don't have money and I'm very introverted. You have to be brutally honest with yourself, in my opinion. If you're a 4, don't expect to wind up with a 9. Granted, the sum of all probabilities is 1 so it can happen and probably has, but trying for it is like investing your life savings in lottery tickets. I'm not saying you "settle". You should be attracted to the person you're with, but if the only people you're attracted to look like they could be on the covers of magazines, you're facing tough odds because there's fewer of them, and lots of people after them. If you're a 9 and want to date a 4, then expect to do the chasing yourself, because they won't expect "someone like you" to be interested in "someone like them". If you give them half a reason, they'll probably run.

Is this how you, yourself, sees it?

Did you mean me? Your post is right after mine but doesn't quote so I'm not sure. If so, yes, I think I stated it was my opinion, nothing more. I'm not claiming to be the sole purveyor of truth in the universe, just sharing my own observations.

Thanks, explains some things.