I had a freak out today

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Wow - I'm so sorry so many people failed you this badly in life. Everyone should have at least one soft place to land once in awhile. Everyone deserves that.

Nerdykid - There were some good ideas here. Definitely watching that blood sugar is a good place to start. Both me and my daughter are very sensitive to the highs and lows - I can positively crash and burn when my sugar bottoms out. Learning to recognize the build up - the signals that you are on edge. I know many people experience that out-of-nowhere explosion but, in watching my daughter, I realized I also had signs and symptoms I just hadn't been recognising - growing inflexibility, distractedness, unable to focus on anything, pacing or sudden cleaning sprees. both for myself and my daughter, redirection was and is the way to go - head it off at the pass. While you are in one of those rages, it can be nearly impossible to redirect it.

Try your best to explain to your girlfriend and maybe enlist her to help you identify your warning signs and/or triggers. Maybe working through it together will help her understand. Violence scares people - if she can understand where you are in your own head at those times and why you would never hurt her when you are like that, you may make some headway.

The worst thing that happened to me was when I accidentally stabbed my toe with the tip of a U.S. Cavalry saber I was holding on my right hand, I rised my right foot in a stomping move and the saber got in the way...

What I keep around is a small block of wood which I can stab with a knife and a broken hard disk which I can hit with a hammer. Sometimes I may hang my sleeping bag from a nail at the top of my bedroom's doorway and use it as a punching bag for a while. My aunt gave me a foam airplane for squishing, but I actually find it to cute and good-smelling to mistreat it,,,


1. I take long walks. VERY long walks (between 1 and 4 hours).
2. Weight-lifting of the kind they do in gyms - never. But if anyone had ever attempted to pick up my bag (either back then when I went to school or whenever I'm carrying any tools, manuals or other stuff for work), I guess they may think it's an acceptable substitute...
3. Sleep, definitely. I've always been of the opinion that you should listen to the body when it gives you any signals. So when I'm feeling tired, I know it's time to sleep. Being tired means you can't focus on what you're doing and are prone to making mistakes (or having accidents), and those "power drinks" are a bad idea as they will only supress the symptoms, not the actual causes of the tiredness. So I go to sleep and wake up fresh and ready to get back at whatever I was doing before.
4. I've always had a balanced diet - vegetables, fruit, rice, meat, chicken, fish, eggs, juices, milk (no coffee, thanks), lots of water, some carbonated drinks now and then (no Coke or Pepsi, I really don't like those dark colas), and my body stays in pretty good condition after all these years...
Does all that count?

Hmmm... I experienced something similar in December 2009, the place I had been working at had started to make changes (for the worst, though they vainly tried to convince me "any change was for the better" - yeah, right!), the new place they moved us to was poorly lit and poorly ventilated, I began to have headaches all day, at first I had thought it was because the first day coincidentally we had to stay late (past midnight) finishing something and had to go early the next morning to deliver it to the customer ("hey, if you guys don't come early tomorrow, do you really want to have Tom, Dick and Harry handle the delivery?" - the idea of how those guys would handle what we had spent hours carefully finishing made us show up early next morning), only to go deliver it at 3pm (during a summer afternoon, which is the hottest time of the day), and then return in the back of the delivery truck since the company didn't want to pay another cab fare (and being a delivery truck, we kept literally bouncing around - in the end I had to lie on the floor so that I would only roll around instead), so I thought it was because of all that and after resting at home during the weekend it would be over, but then when I went back ther on monday, after a while I started feeling dizzy again and realized it was because of the poor working conditions there, so I announced that I would only stay until the end of my contract by the end of the year at most (this was on late November). The manager told me to think about it until the end of the month and give him my final answer, but I was fairly sure nothing would change in such a short notice to make me stay. And boy, was I right... to make matters even worse, the very last day of November, they came to install an AC unit, which if anything, made me LESS willing to stay. You see, back then when they first told us that we'd have to move, they had shown us the place, the manager told me "and this will be your place", I noticed some rectangular markings drawn on the wall and asked if they were going to open a new window there, "no, here we'll put the AC unit", to which I answered "goodbye, then", as I can't work anywhere with air conditioning. I went to the trouble of suggesting using extractors instead and explaining the working principles of AC units, how they extract the moisture from the air and that has a negative impact on health drying the membranes - something that has affected my health all my life, I can't stand it more than 15-30 minutes at a time - but as always, nobody cared about anything I said, my words went in through one ear and out through the other one. So on December 11th, when someone had the idea of turning on the AC at 5:30pm (what for, when by that time the sun is already behind the city buildings?) and leaving it on until closing time (7pm at the offices), I ended up with a sore throat, and all the way back home I felt it getting worse, and by monday I only went to work by taking flu medicine and had to leave early (5pm); I went back the next day, this time intending to stay until closing time since we were short on personnel and had lots of work because of the Holiday Season, but then they turned the AC unit on again at 5pm, I got into a discussion trying to explain that since I was already sick because of it, that would make it even worse, and to show up some consideration, but this stupid girl (who for some reason had something against me even though I never did anything to her) kept insisting on turning it on (and doing it), so I had it and told them all that if they didn't care about me, I didn't have to care about them and they could all go to hell, I didn't even care that at that moment the guy from human resources was there reviewing something, that the lady from customer service was there too, or that the manager had just walked in with someone else... the manager then came to me an instant later, asking what was it about, I told him I was sick and couldn't work with that thing turned on, he told me to go home if I was sick, so I said "fine!", and went to pick up all my stuff (fortunately I've never liked having stuff at the office that I don't take back home at the end of the day), erased my files from the computer hard disk (had done that partially already, since I already was planning to leave in a few more days, anyway), asked the girl from accounting to deliver my stuff to my home since I idn't think I was coming back (the idea of spending Christmas and New Year in bed with a high fever didn't attract me at all), and had to explain to her that I meant some stuff I had loaned to her, not anything I was leaving on my desk as I wasn't leaving anything. The next day I had a phone convo with the manager (I had sent him an e-mail the night before saying that I didn't care whether I had to quit or, as originally planned, take vacations until the end of the month before leaving), I told him I didn't want to leave like that and leave unfinished things, but in all the days that had passed, the guy to whom I was supposed to transfer everything I was working on had been to busy and we hadn't done anything of that, he asked me how he could have any guarantee that something like that wouldn't happen again, I asked him to disconnect the damn AC unit for a few days so I could sort things out, he told me there was no way in hell they would disconnect it, so I told him I was sorry, but then I had no options left but to quit, he asked for my resignation letter ASAP, I told him I would see how I could get it delivered (by then I was already staying in bed), and he hung up. So I printed my resignation letter and had my father take it the net day, together with a couple of things I had brought home from the office so that they wouldn't say I was stealing supplies or anything...