Red Hot Asperger's Femmes

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Your head . . . please remove it from under the rock.

The stereotype of a geek/nerd is an unkept, zit-faced, four-eyes with a worn-out Star Trek t-shirt. In other words: very unattractive.

And, it just so happens that Aspies pretty much ARE the stereotype. Some of us can pass as "cool" but most of us are geeks/nerds by the cool-people standards.

That's right. You're NOT the handsomest or studliest. I am. There can be only one.

Like Bobby Goren, Vincent D'Onofrio's character on 'Law & Order: Criminal Intent', who some people think acts like somebody with AS in other ways (intelligent, quirky).

From what I've seen online there are beautiful girls with AS but the numbers of attractive to unattractive people overall (even taking into account 'eye of the beholder') seem about the same as with NTs.

Last edited by Young_fogey on 09 Jul 2006, 6:50 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Woohoo! & shes (just) within my stalking range!

Now where did i put that telescopic lense...

You are completely changing your story. First you said:

"Do women with Asperger's get great looks as some sort of genetic compensation for their neurodevelopmental disorder or what? ... In conclusion, it's not fair!"

And now you are claiming to have been talking about something else, stereotypes, despite the fact you made no mention of stereotypes in your original message. You are completely changing your story.

Now in regards to your new story, such an AS stereotype does not exist, and anyway, stereotypes are inaccurate by definition:

The Merrian-Webster definition for stereotype says, "a standardized mental picture that is held in common by members of a group and that represents an oversimplified opinion, prejudiced attitude, or uncritical judgment".

Mannerisms is a completely different issue to appearance of the body.

I did NOT say that AS does not affect mannerisms. In fact I implied it does affect mannerisms by saying "Aspergers is a mental / psychological condition".

Yeah I think shes good looking. To be honest I have dreamed of finding an
aspie girlfriend. But the odds of that are very low. The total number of aspies is low
less than 1%. Some say there is a much higher ratio of males. My guess is the
the percent of women aspies who will remain single most their lives is very high.
I can think of several women in my family that were never married. I'm living in
the house of an aunt that never married(or had a boyfriend that I know of). So keep
your eyes open for single NT ladies in the future.

You're wrong. I belive that 99% of male Aspies are unable to get a girlfriend, while 70% of women with it marry. Teen Aspie girls are much more mature than teen Aspie boys.

Physically doing things differently, hunching and wearing hair differently are all characteristics of body language and other similar social skills, which are all manifestations of the social learning gap. While it maybe has an impact on the person's ability to attract and communicate with people (i.e. projecting lack of confidence or lack of knowledge in terms of social styles) these are not technically physical characteristics and they do not appear across the board for aspies, as just like NT's each has a different sense of style, motivations, social skill sets and confidence. These traits also appear in NT's or other people with social disorders, personality problems etc.

Moreover, as for the aspie you know with a slightly deformed face, while they may be an aspie and they might have a slightly deformed face, niether of these things has anything to do with the other -- that specific person could have weak X or some other genetic problems that have absolutely nothing to do with AS. A person could easily (and usually do) have such physical conditions without having anything like AS.

I'm not doubting those numbers. My point was more that the odds of an aspie
guy and aspie girl getting together are close to zero. Like you say the over all
odds maybe 1% for an aspie male(hopefully its not that bad but clearily the
odds are low).

Your stereotype is just lame as well. Just about none of the people I talk to from here are unnatractive geeks or nerds. It'a a variety. At least it's more accuarate than neanthumains ridiculous warped view though.

WOW Are'nt you just a ray of sunshine and hope for aspie males. If I had to listen to you, I would've slit my wrists a long time ago!!

There are heaps of people here that aren't geeks or nerds? I must be missing those posts. And I must be blind because I don't think I've seen a post by anyone here that I wouldn't call one.

I'm not a geek or a ner

(I don't know why that happens.)

I'm not a geek or a nerd. I used to be a freak, now I'm just... unusual.

Yes, there is absolutely this stereotype. I believe there was an article I read once entitled 'The Geek Syndrome' Most of us are geeks or nerds by NT standards, so the sooner we accept it, it better.

However, whats wrong with being one? I am probably considered a nerd - hopefully a nerd in desquise because I don't think I visually LOOK dorky (anymore. That was different when I was a kid and before I knew I had AS!). Many people have called me cute or even sexy. I don't think I'm 'all that', I'm pretty good looking, not like a BABE or anything, but it all depends on someones' individual opinion. I might be right up someones alley and perhaps even repel someone else, and be OK to yet another person. I've heard one or two opinions of my picture online before that I looked 'creepy', but many more that think I look great, and find my personality a catch too. But it all depends on what you're looking for. Hah, I remember one time this guy was practically freaking out online that he thought I was such a goddess! HAHA, that was SO hilarious and awesome.

If you consider yourself a dork, you're probably better off with a fellow dork, cause they will more likely have common interests and understand your difficulty, whether they also have AS or not.

And then other AS people may seem odd or different, but not directly come off as a geek, so who knows. Some of us have different problems from each other in that we may mentally FEEL the stresses of AS syndrome, but not particularly give it away with how we look, and I think thats where I fit in.