08 Feb 2011, 10:21 am
08 Feb 2011, 11:13 am
I think I got the quoting right on this. I guess we'll see.
Biokinetica wrote:
wefunction wrote:
Biokinetica wrote:
Mindslave wrote:
Well, it's kind of an as*hole thing to do if you put a girl on the spot in front of 500 people. Unless you are absolutely sure she is going to say yes, then don't do it. And even then, if she is the kind of girl that you are in love with and loves you back, you probably wouldn't do something like that to her. Even if I was ready to marry someone, and they did that, I would say yes, but seriously question my future with that person afterwards.
This "as*hole thing to do" used to be tradition.
So have been large, elaborate, expensive weddings, which have also been degraded and trashed on this very forum.
ETA: In fact, on the weddings topic, it was said that any bride who wanted a big, expensive wedding cared more about the party than she cared about her spouse or marriage. By that logic, one might also suggest any man who proposes in such an expensive, elaborate way cares more about what others think (the 500 or so onlookers) than the woman he's supposedly offering his life to.
That doesn't mean you should degrade and trash the proposing.
So it's okay to degrade and trash what's traditionally a woman's thing to plan but not okay to degrade and trash what's traditionally a man's thing to plan? I don't see anything problematic here!
Biokinetica wrote:
Dantac wrote:
That tradition was from the days where marriages were pre-arranged by the families..not for love. They were economic alliances through marriage. The girl nor the groom could not refuse. The big wedding and reception was nothing more than a formal social celebration so both families could show off how wealthy they were.
Today that tradition only serves to make the poor poorer and the rich more visible.
I'm not looking for your philosophy on why rich people do what they do. Stay on topic.
Bossy Flossy!
08 Feb 2011, 1:40 pm
08 Feb 2011, 2:00 pm
TheWeirdPig wrote:
A marriage proposal should be a private moment. It is also very appropriate to wait to buy the ring until after she has accepted.
At least that is my opinion.
At least that is my opinion.
I think it's practical to wait unless you've got a family hierloom (eg. great grandma's 5k ring, etc) if you're buying a ring to make sure it's the right size and something she really wants to wear every day.
Also, there are couples who either completely forego the use of an engagement ring or fully embrace it with both wearing rings. There's fun options there.
My husband proposed with the ring but I honestly didn't even look at it until later. I was focused on him.
08 Feb 2011, 4:27 pm
wefunction wrote:
I think I got the quoting right on this. I guess we'll see.
This "as*hole thing to do" used to be tradition.
So have been large, elaborate, expensive weddings, which have also been degraded and trashed on this very forum.
ETA: In fact, on the weddings topic, it was said that any bride who wanted a big, expensive wedding cared more about the party than she cared about her spouse or marriage. By that logic, one might also suggest any man who proposes in such an expensive, elaborate way cares more about what others think (the 500 or so onlookers) than the woman he's supposedly offering his life to.
That doesn't mean you should degrade and trash the proposing.
So it's okay to degrade and trash what's traditionally a woman's thing to plan but not okay to degrade and trash what's traditionally a man's thing to plan? I don't see anything problematic here!
Biokinetica wrote:
wefunction wrote:
Biokinetica wrote:
Mindslave wrote:
Well, it's kind of an as*hole thing to do if you put a girl on the spot in front of 500 people. Unless you are absolutely sure she is going to say yes, then don't do it. And even then, if she is the kind of girl that you are in love with and loves you back, you probably wouldn't do something like that to her. Even if I was ready to marry someone, and they did that, I would say yes, but seriously question my future with that person afterwards.
This "as*hole thing to do" used to be tradition.
So have been large, elaborate, expensive weddings, which have also been degraded and trashed on this very forum.
ETA: In fact, on the weddings topic, it was said that any bride who wanted a big, expensive wedding cared more about the party than she cared about her spouse or marriage. By that logic, one might also suggest any man who proposes in such an expensive, elaborate way cares more about what others think (the 500 or so onlookers) than the woman he's supposedly offering his life to.
That doesn't mean you should degrade and trash the proposing.
So it's okay to degrade and trash what's traditionally a woman's thing to plan but not okay to degrade and trash what's traditionally a man's thing to plan? I don't see anything problematic here!
I meant "the person proposing". You can edit your sarcasm now. And cut my arguments down to single sentences like that. If you're going to bother quoting, do it respect the argument by doing it properly.
And I never said anything about it being ok to degrade wedding planning. You pulled that from somewhere else.
nick007
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08 Feb 2011, 9:34 pm
08 Feb 2011, 9:56 pm
nick007 wrote:
The guys may be doing it publicly like that NOT to trap the girl but because they think they are being romantic. I've heard some women talk about how they want to be proposed to in a big fancy way like that
I've never heard that, but I'd bet those are the women who plan the big expensive weddings with 500+ guests. LOL In that case, they deserve each other! Perfect match!
nick007
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Gender: Male
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Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in capitalistic military dictatorship called USA
08 Feb 2011, 10:03 pm
wefunction wrote:
nick007 wrote:
The guys may be doing it publicly like that NOT to trap the girl but because they think they are being romantic. I've heard some women talk about how they want to be proposed to in a big fancy way like that
I've never heard that, but I'd bet those are the women who plan the big expensive weddings with 500+ guests. LOL In that case, they deserve each other! Perfect match!
That could be true but it's possible that even if the women is not that type the guys still think they are being romantic. I've heard that from more than a few women & when I was younger I kinda thought most women would like to be proposed to that way
08 Feb 2011, 11:48 pm
wefunction wrote:
nick007 wrote:
The guys may be doing it publicly like that NOT to trap the girl but because they think they are being romantic. I've heard some women talk about how they want to be proposed to in a big fancy way like that
I've never heard that, but I'd bet those are the women who plan the big expensive weddings with 500+ guests. LOL In that case, they deserve each other! Perfect match!
I can't imagine how you wouldn't hear that. I've heard the same, and is why I don't think this practice is inherently evil.
09 Feb 2011, 12:57 am
nick007 wrote:
wefunction wrote:
nick007 wrote:
The guys may be doing it publicly like that NOT to trap the girl but because they think they are being romantic. I've heard some women talk about how they want to be proposed to in a big fancy way like that
I've never heard that, but I'd bet those are the women who plan the big expensive weddings with 500+ guests. LOL In that case, they deserve each other! Perfect match!
That could be true but it's possible that even if the women is not that type the guys still think they are being romantic. I've heard that from more than a few women & when I was younger I kinda thought most women would like to be proposed to that way
Well, granted, when we were all 12, we all had fantastic ideas on how men would appear in our lives, sweep us off our feet, ask us to marry them and then the glorious wedding we'd have with everybody coming just to see us in our gorgeous white wedding gowns and our 1.5 million bridesmaids all in [insert oddly specific color shade here]. But that's a kid thing. At some point a rational person looks at the fuss and money required and says, "Screw it, let's get married on the beach with a couple friends and have a beer." A lot of my friends from then are married now and not a one of us got married according to that original fantasy. One of them swore they'd have NKOTB sing at their wedding reception but I guess because she didn't marry Joey like she'd planned, that was a lot harder to arrange. In fact, none of us met our husbands the way that we planned, either. I wasn't in an awesome rock band touring with Rush and he wasn't an awesome firefighter who saved me from a car crash while random whatever was on fire around us. Reality was that he was a former firefighter turned IT geek, I was a paralegal and we met at college. LOL
What you're saying reminds me of the Monica character from that 90's show, Friends. When she got engaged to Chandler, she pulled out this huge binder that she'd been putting together since childhood about what her wedding would be. I mean, I don't know anybody like that. Oh, there was a reality show on some cable channel a while back about guys proposing. It followed them around when they were planning it. I didn't really watch it but I gather it was all about proposing BIG. I gather those women appreciated it... or maybe they just acted like they did because it was front of a million people and was going to be on TV. Who knows for sure.
There's all kinds of people so I'm sure you're right that there are grown women who think it's awesome to be proposed to that way. I just don't know any beyond the age of 14 so I'm skeptical.
nick007
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09 Feb 2011, 1:22 am
wefunction wrote:
nick007 wrote:
wefunction wrote:
nick007 wrote:
The guys may be doing it publicly like that NOT to trap the girl but because they think they are being romantic. I've heard some women talk about how they want to be proposed to in a big fancy way like that
I've never heard that, but I'd bet those are the women who plan the big expensive weddings with 500+ guests. LOL In that case, they deserve each other! Perfect match!
That could be true but it's possible that even if the women is not that type the guys still think they are being romantic. I've heard that from more than a few women & when I was younger I kinda thought most women would like to be proposed to that way
Well, granted, when we were all 12, we all had fantastic ideas on how men would appear in our lives, sweep us off our feet, ask us to marry them and then the glorious wedding we'd have with everybody coming just to see us in our gorgeous white wedding gowns and our 1.5 million bridesmaids all in [insert oddly specific color shade here]. But that's a kid thing. At some point a rational person looks at the fuss and money required and says, "Screw it, let's get married on the beach with a couple friends and have a beer." A lot of my friends from then are married now and not a one of us got married according to that original fantasy. One of them swore they'd have NKOTB sing at their wedding reception but I guess because she didn't marry Joey like she'd planned, that was a lot harder to arrange. In fact, none of us met our husbands the way that we planned, either. I wasn't in an awesome rock band touring with Rush and he wasn't an awesome firefighter who saved me from a car crash while random whatever was on fire around us. Reality was that he was a former firefighter turned IT geek, I was a paralegal and we met at college. LOL
What you're saying reminds me of the Monica character from that 90's show, Friends. When she got engaged to Chandler, she pulled out this huge binder that she'd been putting together since childhood about what her wedding would be. I mean, I don't know anybody like that. Oh, there was a reality show on some cable channel a while back about guys proposing. It followed them around when they were planning it. I didn't really watch it but I gather it was all about proposing BIG. I gather those women appreciated it... or maybe they just acted like they did because it was front of a million people and was going to be on TV. Who knows for sure.
There's all kinds of people so I'm sure you're right that there are grown women who think it's awesome to be proposed to that way. I just don't know any beyond the age of 14 so I'm skeptical.
I think you might of missed my point. The guys who propose that way could be trying to be sweet because they think that's the way the girl would like best.
09 Feb 2011, 3:44 am
Bethie
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Age: 36
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09 Feb 2011, 4:34 am
r_a_n_d_o_m wrote:
actually had this happen to me last month i proposed to my girlfriend and she told me no, didnt find out til later its because she cheated on me that she said no, so i went and had sex with her sister. i could have handled it better but at the time it seemed like a good idea
Sounds like yall deserve each other.
09 Feb 2011, 5:00 am
09 Feb 2011, 12:05 pm
Titangeek
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10 Feb 2011, 12:37 am
wefunction wrote:
... on the next Maury: Men who sleep with their girlfriend's sister after she cheats on him and refuses to marry him in a big public proposal.
Good one
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