looka wrote:
hello im a 22 year old male aspie & i was wondering what is a typical love life for me? i have never had a girlfriend and have only had one girl who was a friend for a short period of time. this is a nauseating time of year for me with amorous couples everywhere you look. when do most male aspies get their first girlfriend? i should be mentioned, however, that i am not only an aspie, but also extremely unstable and lazy (perhaps it is related to the illness). my motivation fluctuates like the stock market going haywire, where most of the year i dont have any motivation. i am unemployed, out of school and pretty much isolated from society save my daily walk outside (aka. fast food trip). i have also recently mixed up lust and love, as at times i find myself looking for a girl to sleep with.
Your problem is one even NT males have (never had girlfriend, girls just want to be friends, admiring others with love/wanting love) If you meet a girl, you should make yourself not look lazy or unstable, like, don't mention it or say you are, and play it down. Instead, play UP the traits that are NOT lazy or unstable. Dates are kind of like a type of job interview--you are supposed to make the best impression you can and put forth a positive image about yourself. Not lie, but just show your positive side at first. If you have motivation problems, you should try to do 10 minutes of something you're unmotivated to do, a 50 minute break, then go for another 10 mins if you can, per day.
Isolation is something that will keep you from meeting girls to date, you should go do some things outside the house besides get food that you enjoy.
Being unemployed is something a girl may have problems with because she thinks she will end up paying for every date and you being dependent on her. You could either get a job or show you have income to spend on her. Talk about your hobbies and interests on a date. If you want a one-night stand, then you probably should go to a bar or club and talk to the women there.
Keep in mind that I am not a NT, I have bipolar disorder. But to a person with asperger's I might seem NT. I am trying to help, I don't know if this advice is good or not but I did my best.
17 Feb 2011, 3:20 pm
