Do aspies make good parents if they get the chance to be one

Post Reply New Topic

I think it depends on the aspie. Some are good parents and some are not just like everyone else.

I have a one month old and I think I am a good mom already. Sometimes I feel like a bad one. I want to be the best mom I can be. I just hope my son won't see me as one of those aspie parents and I sure don't want to be a bad one.

i hope to adopt a kid (or have one through surrogacy) one day. i love kids... always have. I have a lot of love to give and it's gotta go somewhere. the problem is now ppl are saying i shouldn't work in daycare b/c it overstimulates me and thus the reason i was recently let go for violating a 'no touch policy' (thank god i only volunteered there. I don't wanna go to JAIL! I'm too kind! )
the reason i say i gotta a lot of love to give is b/c when i was a kid and all through life i felt misunderstood for being the way i was.
Father demanded too much out of me (still does until recently, i'm now contemplating limited conversations with him since he's still threatening legal guardianship and group homes upon me-both things i find pure evil and the work of Satan himself. Not only that he belittles me each chance he gets so it's just best not to talk to him.) he even played the "I knew you since birth" card when I asked if he really understood what I was going through.
Stepmother(s): I'm pretty sure dad's second wife hated me maybe that's why she would always threaten to beat me. She never understood what I was going through. And I learned today that dad's third wife has doubts about me living an independent life due to my challenges.
Half-Sister: Was a happy child when my parents were married but it was like someone went inside her brain and threw a switch, she suddenly became a bully with behavioral problems and tramatic memories of being told by my dad she was not part of his family. No matter how many times I tried to show my love for her she would repel and come at me with either a nasty remark or try to physically hurt me.
Grandmother (on dad's side): according to dad, she also has doubts i can live on my own succesfully (but according to my grandmother on my mom's side, dad sometimes says makes things up that are not true which why I have a hard time believing half of anything he says)
my teachers in Primary/Intermediate/elementary/middle school: COME ON! Kindergarten on through 8th grade I had teachers telling me to do things a certain way. No I'm not bad. Just not your definition of "normal".
those who bullied me in middle school/wrote on my locker in high school: Okay admit it. Who here enjoys being called "ret*d" on a daily basis? Nobody right? Who here likes having their heads pelted with rocks on the schoolyard or garbage put in their lunch? NOBODY! Who here enjoys seeing the word "stupid" written IN SHARPIE on your locker or passing by a conversation containing the word "ret*d" (said by a classmate who would eventually become my now stepsister's boyfriend, he probably understands what I'm going through now that he's been in my family since 2007. As long as I've known him, we've become friends and he's not uttered that dreadful "R" word since)
My grandparents on my dads side (these being my dads dad and stepmom, yes divorce seems to be the family curse here ) for some reason my dad believes that my grandparents have doubts about me living on my own. but everytime i talk to them they seem positive and encouraging. yet another reason i shouldn't believe my dad on what he says.

Sometimes this wold is too strange for me b/c it's hard to hard someone out there who understands.

I think I am better than a lot of mothers I have met, I love my son an awful lot and allways put his needs first, I care about his education and happiness and I think if he has aspergers aswell (pretty likely) I will suck it up and cope, I just hope his meltdowns will not be as bad as mine were when I was a child.

I think it varies. My husband is an Aspie and not very interested in the kids. His contribution is to go to work. He mostly keeps to himself, but we understand each other well. I'm in charge of most everything around here. I'm an Aspie and at least one of my two daughters is. Sometimes it's hard to relate to her because she has some of the traits I don't like in myself, like a short temper and extreme stubbornness and sensory processing issues and dyspraxia.

However I have the obsessive compulsiveness to do all of her occupational therapy and log all of her behavior for patterns. When she was little she had multiple food allergies and I was able to keep her away from people who were eating (we didn't get out much and never to restaurants) and constantly watch what she touched (she reacted to other people's food residue on tables, remote controls, etc.) to help her avoid reactions so that she outgrew the allergies completely. So if an aspie is willing to make a child his/her special interest and his/her sensory problems aren't too extreme (my daughter screams a LOT!), it'll work out. Kids are really tough, and I think it's harder if you're not a people person (dealing with schools is living hell), and if your kids have behavior problems related to autism.

I know I'm not technically a Parent, but my brother thinks of me as one. I'm thirteen years older than he is. I help take care of him, and I try hard to set a good example for him in spite of my youth. Knowing how I perform as a teenager taking care of my brother, I think that I will be a good full parent when I am an adult and have matured more. I worry that my brother and future kid will be upset by my Aspie traits, but for the most part my brother is fine with them. He does get annoyed when I keep touching his arm and head, and I explain to him that that's how I show affection, but I'm trying to work on that. He's very understanding. We're just starting to explain to him about my disability, and he doesn't see it as a big deal. I think he will be okay, and I think I will probably be a good parent.

Some of them do I doubt I would though.