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i hope that this is the start of something new for my life

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Fiz
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11 Feb 2011, 9:46 am

ToadOfSteel wrote:
After having an okcupid profile for over a month, I finally worked up the courage to send a message. Here's to hoping that I can turn my life around...


Personally, I would never use a dating site as I don't like the idea at all. But hey, that's just my own personal opinion. My mother got married a few years ago to guy she met through a dating site, so good things can come from them. If using dating sites is comfortable for you and the best way for you to seek a girlfriend, then I wish you all the best with your search :)


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Janissy
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11 Feb 2011, 9:58 am

ToadOfSteel wrote:
After having an okcupid profile for over a month, I finally worked up the courage to send a message. Here's to hoping that I can turn my life around...


:thumleft: Yay!

It was a hurdle and you jumped over it. Now that hurdle is behind you. This can only be good.



ToadOfSteel
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11 Feb 2011, 10:00 am

Yeah, and now I'm on the big drag of nothing... I'm already feeling it only having sent out just two messages, and I supposedly have to send out hundreds to even get a response?



emlion
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11 Feb 2011, 10:01 am

it depends.
online dating is like a lottery. >.<

keep your chin up and keep trying. :D



wefunction
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11 Feb 2011, 10:04 am

Regardless of what happens from the one message, the fact is that YOU SENT IT! That is awesome! I do hope this has torn down a wall for you and brought you into a new, broader area of your life where you don't stop yourself from sending messages and putting yourself out there! Congratulations and Good luck!! ! :D



blondieamc
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11 Feb 2011, 12:23 pm

Good luck to you!! ! " nothing ventured, nothing gained" :)



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12 Feb 2011, 2:37 am

ToadOfSteel wrote:
monsterland wrote:
Don't put so much into it. Online dating is kind of crap. Go to Meetup.com and find local meetups in your area, try to hang out with people you have something in common with.

OkCupid's crackpot match system does not find such people. Yet I know of one person who claims to have created her entire social life from Meetup.com, and I'm trying to follow suit. Because it's the only way to sense if you have chemistry with someone - in a public setting, without pressure.


People on here have been telling me to try and expand myself for years, and as soon as I say that I'm actually trying to do that, I get insulted?


I am sorry if you saw it that way.

If you look at my post carefully, I was trying to help. The minority of it was insulting an Internet site (not you), from experience, and the majority of it was suggesting a better alternative.

There was no ad hominem in my post, and it was not intended as such. I was just trying to help you optimize the process by skipping over what will amount to a waste of time - because OkCupid is a dead end.

Meetups are where it's at. Much easier to get along, less "success vs. failure" pressure, and there are plenty of nerds like ourselves going to those. If something romantic happens to develop, it will do so naturally, and you're certainly going to run across more females in non-intimidating setting that way than by meeting them one on one from a dating site where people are rarely what they seem.



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12 Feb 2011, 2:49 am

ToadOfSteel wrote:
Yeah, and now I'm on the big drag of nothing... I'm already feeling it only having sent out just two messages, and I supposedly have to send out hundreds to even get a response?


Maybe not hundreds, but it can take awhile. I'm in NJ too. The online dating scene here can be frustrating. Keep your chin up. :)



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12 Feb 2011, 2:19 pm

Good on you for facing your fears!


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ToadOfSteel
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12 Feb 2011, 2:53 pm

Well I've been talking to a nice lady for a while now... at the very least I think i've made a friend, but I sure hope that someday it can turn into something more. All I need to do is not completely creep her out.


abaisse wrote:
Maybe not hundreds, but it can take awhile. I'm in NJ too. The online dating scene here can be frustrating. Keep your chin up. :)


I've been told a couple times that my best bet would be to leave NJ, but I don't know if I could do that. It might be a state filled with douches, but it's still my home.



abaisse
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12 Feb 2011, 3:25 pm

ToadOfSteel wrote:

abaisse wrote:
Maybe not hundreds, but it can take awhile. I'm in NJ too. The online dating scene here can be frustrating. Keep your chin up. :)


I've been told a couple times that my best bet would be to leave NJ, but I don't know if I could do that. It might be a state filled with douches, but it's still my home.


I hear ya. Story of my life.



RICKY5
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12 Feb 2011, 5:16 pm

ToadOfSteel wrote:
Well I've been talking to a nice lady for a while now... at the very least I think i've made a friend, but I sure hope that someday it can turn into something more. All I need to do is not completely creep her out.


abaisse wrote:
Maybe not hundreds, but it can take awhile. I'm in NJ too. The online dating scene here can be frustrating. Keep your chin up. :)


I've been told a couple times that my best bet would be to leave NJ, but I don't know if I could do that. It might be a state filled with douches, but it's still my home.


Prep a happy sounding message. Be nothing but positive. Keep it up.

Who cares if some entitled "catch you next Tuesday" tells you you're wasting you're time?She's gonna be a wrinkled, used up, and have nobody wanting her by the time she's 26.



zen_mistress
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13 Feb 2011, 2:18 pm

^ Sounds like you've never heard of MILFs.


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