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Define Cheating What is it?

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keira
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01 Mar 2011, 4:01 pm

leejosepho wrote:
I do not think there is necessarily a standard list of "no nos" that can fit each and every relationship, but I do think it is up to me to know what my wife personally needs, wants and/or expects ... and to then be sure I do not rob her of those things either by giving them away elsewhere or by forcing her to share those affections I have promised to her alone. So then, and even though I do not believe this is entirely reliable in the end, I would say your own "significant other" decides what is cheating for you and you decide what is cheating for him or for her ... and if/when the two of you cannot agree about all of that and keep your own personal commitments, I would say you really have no meaningful relationship at all.


The best explanation I've read :hail:



emlion
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01 Mar 2011, 4:02 pm

yeah. breaking the boundaries of the relationship - that could be sexual or emotional.



The_Face_of_Boo
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01 Mar 2011, 5:29 pm

Bethie wrote:
Cheating is where one partner violates an agreed-upon boundary behind his or her partner's back.

If I found my boyfriend was cuddling and being emotionally intimate with another woman, it'd devastate me,
whereas other couples have open relationships where they knowingly engage in sex with other people.

For me, cheating is physical affection or flirting with another person, kissing, dates....any of the things that are unique to our relationship that we don't do with friends.


Was he non-asexual?



Bethie
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01 Mar 2011, 8:00 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Bethie wrote:
Cheating is where one partner violates an agreed-upon boundary behind his or her partner's back.

If I found my boyfriend was cuddling and being emotionally intimate with another woman, it'd devastate me,
whereas other couples have open relationships where they knowingly engage in sex with other people.

For me, cheating is physical affection or flirting with another person, kissing, dates....any of the things that are unique to our relationship that we don't do with friends.


Was he non-asexual?


Was who non-asexual?


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Meow101
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01 Mar 2011, 9:27 pm

Bethie wrote:
Cheating is where one partner violates an agreed-upon boundary behind his or her partner's back.

If I found my boyfriend was cuddling and being emotionally intimate with another woman, it'd devastate me,
whereas other couples have open relationships where they knowingly engage in sex with other people.

For me, cheating is physical affection or flirting with another person, kissing, dates....any of the things that are unique to our relationship that we don't do with friends.


I agree with your definition...it varies with the couple. Some people have open relationships where they are honest with each other and have sex with other people and it's not cheating as long as there is honesty and agreements are kept, and others consider flirting or even a hug that's too affectionate to be cheating. It depends entirely on what the people *in* the relationship agree to.

~Kate


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mangos
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01 Mar 2011, 10:17 pm

Bethie wrote:
Cheating is where one partner violates an agreed-upon boundary behind his or her partner's back.

If I found my boyfriend was cuddling and being emotionally intimate with another woman, it'd devastate me,
whereas other couples have open relationships where they knowingly engage in sex with other people.

For me, cheating is physical affection or flirting with another person, kissing, dates....any of the things that are unique to our relationship that we don't do with friends.


I agree with this. I think the key elements to cheating are deception and lies of omission about your behaviors that you know would upset your partner if s/he found out. These are more relevant than the particular action you did, IMO.