miscarriage/ex/silent treatment posting again....

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This. Sorry KSP.

Thx. I guess this sums up how messed up he is...the fact that he's going to take a month and actually put thought into something means he cares. If he doesn't care about something, it doesn't exist in his world. So, I'm actually feeling pretty good that he's putting the time into it. I think this is one of those situations that looks so incredibly bad to outsiders and I can see that. Only my mom seems to get what is going on for some reason and she never gets any of the crazy crap that I do. She just thinks he's a nerd to the extreme and in shock right now. I've seen other things (physical and mental) that put him in a category of "different" that I've never seen before. His differences have made him become so restrained, hence needing a month to sort things out I suppose. It's either fight this and create an enemy in somebody that I've been through a lot with or ride this out and at least co-exist with an understanding and closure. He would never do any harm to me. He wouldn't dare abuse me and has been so careful not to hurt me. If anything, from what he's said, he seems to think that him being around me is hurting me. Before I understood him, I'd take a lot of the random crap that he says personally and that would hurt. When I'd tell him, he'd react in a way that seemed like he hated himself. Nowwww, I get it.

I have to ask what you really want from this guy? It seems as much as you say you're getting past him, the evidence says otherwise. I wonder if you're "moving on" because everyone tells you that's what's for the best (including people on this forum), but it's not what you really want?

Waiting a month just seems like he's buying time. He's scared of something and giving him space is not going to get him to become unscared. In fact, the time and space could cause him to fester in his fear and cause more anxiety. There's something going on with him and it's more than just AS.

I just think that after a miscarriage, he needs to be there for you a bit more. His biggest problem is probably nobody was there to ever teach him some manners.

I have the same sort of thoughts, it's kind of like 'he cared enough to hit me.'

I don't get you - if you want him admit it, don't pretend you're 'moving on.'
do you think it's better to have someone, anyone, rather than be alone?

I'm really confused by this OP. If I understand things correctly; you guys broke up before he knew about the pregnancy. You told him about the pregnancy after you miscarried when your were wanting sympathy/emotional support from him. I think you need to leave him alone. Some Aspies have lots of problems giving emotional support & he may be really confused about what you want from him. He may think you want to get back together with him or that you are trying to use him or something

The thirty days to decide means he just wants to work through his emotions. That's fine and not really the issue. To me, the 800 lb gorilla in the room is how you got pregnant in the first place. I don't mean to be nosy but some context would be helpful. Was the pregnancy unplanned or were you trying? Were you on the pill? If not, did he know that or did he simply not ask. IMO, both parties are responsible for discussing birth control and deciding how to handle it. How did he react to the pregnancy? Was he supportive or distant or shocked or what?

Either way, the guy doesn't seem to be really very considerate of your feelings. If he wanted the kid, he should be supporting you emotionally and being at least a shoulder to cry on. If he didn't want the kid, which I suspect is actually the case, he should at least be respectful of the loss you've suffered. The fact that you say he blew up about the miscarriage and not the pregnancy is confusing. It sort of makes me wonder if he wanted the kid but has some stupid old fashioned notion that miscarriages are somehow the woman's fault. I don't recommend you restart the romance with this guy. If you want to be friends, that's fine, but limit it just to that and don't have a child with this man.