and the cool kids would say "oh snap!"

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Ok and now I get depressed the night after. When the s**t is hitting the fan I can feel some sort of meaningful connection. It's the silent discontentment that really kills.

Before reading that comment I thought I had faked normality quite convincingly. Obviously I've got a long way to go before I can have a meaninful relationship with a girl.

In some ways my life is a pretty sick joke. What kind of messed up teenager files a technological patent before his first kiss? Hell, I haven't even held a girl by the hand before.

Hate to say it but the second they start avoiding you its done - Dave DeAngelo has mentioned, they constantly look and test for what they deem to be weakness indicators and once they see that or catch any bit of bad reputation its pretty much off permanently (not to just pick at someone elses ideas but it's validation of something I've seen played out dozens of times without exception). The only thing I can recommend is just stop taking that much value in any one woman, you get their respect only if other women like you and there's some element of challenge or game from the standpoint of other people's social proof of you. That and do everything you can to build self-respect at other things that you actually can control or which your AS doesn't squash you on, it may not be enough to help on this side of things but it'll make single life and looking in the mirror a lot more palletable.