How do you normally act when you are flirted with?

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mysteriouslyabsent
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12 Jul 2006, 3:38 pm

Lonermutant wrote:
Obesity: The best way of avoiding flirting.


:lol:



Mork
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12 Jul 2006, 4:06 pm

As far as I know no-one ever flirts with me.

I've never thought of myself as particularly attractive to women anyway.



Vinzer
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12 Jul 2006, 5:40 pm

Does having people grab your ass and giggle count as flirting?


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TheBladeRoden
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12 Jul 2006, 6:36 pm

I don't recall having been flirted with in recent lifetimes, unless the girl was really bad at it.


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wobbegong
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12 Jul 2006, 9:37 pm

Quote:
Does having people grab your ass and giggle count as flirting?


Hate to break it to you, but unless people is your partner, that counts as assault.

I flirt with fat guys. I'll even go have a coffee with them. For serious relationships, I do find obesity off putting because it is self destructive, like a slow form of suicide and I'm not sure I want to get attached to someone who is going to die of some horrible obesity induced disease. I also want someone who can keep up with me. I'm crippled with a knee injury at the moment but I don't want someone saying they don't want to go for a walk along the beach or a bike ride etc because they are so unfit they can't do it.

I sometimes find ugly people attractive, it just takes longer than if they were gorgeous. You do have to spend more time talking to them and getting to know them. I don't automatically write people off because they're ugly. I do tend to write off gorgeous people who flirt with me as unavailable automatically. Like Aspie1, I've never had a gorgeous guy express any interest in me except for his own personal sexual gratification. I am friends with a few gorgeous guys but only after we ruled out sex. I wouldn't take any sexual advance from one of these guys seriously, unless he knew me quite well over a period of two or more years.



Vinzer
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12 Jul 2006, 9:49 pm

wobbegong wrote:
Quote:
Does having people grab your ass and giggle count as flirting?


Hate to break it to you, but unless people is your partner, that counts as assault. .


No, no. That's only when a guy grabs a girl's ass. When it's a girl doing it to a guy it's called... Uh, well, I don't know what it's called, but it's gotta be some sort of positive double standard.


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Aspie1
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12 Jul 2006, 10:59 pm

wobbegong wrote:
I sometimes find ugly people attractive, ... (quote truncated)

So do I. I find myself going for overweight girls, and the attraction is becoming more and more real, as opposed to simply going for them because good-looking girls don't like me. I think it's because I can truly understand what they have to go through; I can sympathyze with them. So knowing that they've gone through the same thing I've gone through (albeit for different reasons) makes them look attractive to me.



car_crash
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12 Jul 2006, 11:49 pm

i didnt even know flirting existed until i was 18 when i had to look it up in a dictionary. i'm still not sure i understand it. could someone give me a few examples of what would constitute flirting?

pretty please :)

jamie



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13 Jul 2006, 1:13 am

If you're sure you really want me to, tiger. ;)



wobbegong
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13 Jul 2006, 1:22 am

Vinzer

Trust me, if a really repulsive girl grabs your arse and giggles, you will feel assaulted.

The double standard perhaps is that girls are "trained" to be offended by uninvited arse grabbing, and guys are "trained" to grab as much arse as they can get away with.

It doesn't really matter who does the grabbing, if it is unwelcome, it is assault. You learn this if you work in a heavily regulated bureaucracy like the public service. Get permisson to grab arse in advance and in writing.



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13 Jul 2006, 6:59 am

Hey, it's uninvited, but not unwelcome. The girls themselves aren't repulsive, either... Personality wise, maybe they aren't the best people, but they're certainly not half bad as far as looks go.


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Veresae
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13 Jul 2006, 2:10 pm

Depends who it is and how well I know her.

In 8th grade a girl I had never met before repeatedly hit on me at lunch. The very minute I met her she asked for my phone number. I didn't know her, I didn't find her attractive, and I didn't like it that she was asking for my number when she didn't even know my name or anything about me yet. So that time I really disliked it and told her bad things about me in order to make her stop, but none seemed to work. Then, after a few days I told her I didn't believe in god, she looked shocked and stopped bothering me from that day forth. It was a huge relief.

Also, if it's someone who I myself have feelings for and I know that they don't like me like that, it really irks me when they compliment my appearance because it always comes off as flirting to me. I'm not sure if that counts as flirting. But say I'm trying to get over some girl, but am still trying to be friends with her, and one day she's rather complimentary--it really mucks with my mind because I interpret it as such, and it just adds uncertainty and, despite the fact that they're compliments, worsens the insecurity that inevitably comes with crushes. I can be vocal about this or just bury it inside, but if we're communicating through text then it's more likely to be the former.

However, if it's someone I'm at least a little familiar with and I reasonably like what I know of her personality, and I find them to be at least a little physically attractive, then I may just kinda smile or I might flirt back slightly. Usually my flirts are very subtle however--small stuff. Glances or expressions or compliments, certain tones of voice, etc. However any flirtation tends to be rare.



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13 Jul 2006, 8:33 pm

Commenting on the physical appearance of others in a positive light isn't necessarily flirting to me. On many an occasion I have made remarks about peoples' appearance for no other reason than to appear friendly.

There is probably a double standard at work here though. IMHO positive comments for a man are far more meaningful than those directed at women because they're less expected. We're supposed to make comments on a woman's physical appearance. That's why many men more readily perceive behaviour as flirting, even when someone is not flirting. They're less likely to see it as being just a social niceity.



Dougse85
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14 Jul 2006, 10:17 pm

I'm oblivious to flirting toward myself, but I've noticed flirting between other people. I guess I have a predetermined idea that no girls could possibly be serious if flirting with me, like they're joking or something.
There has been situations back when I was in high school where some 'popular girls' were 'flirting' with me, I didn't even second guess what was going on, so I just flat-out denied them, and they were probably just faking that they were crying. How could I take 'flirting' directed toward myself serious when most people were afraid of me, and my reputation as some strange smart kid pushed people away.
I still don't see how anyone could like me, I don't think I'm good enough target for flirting, so I deny that anyone could be flirting with me, is that unreasonable?

Funny how I learned a lot about how people saw me; people assumed that I listened to classical orchestrated music (probably fit the smart kid thing), and I was an image of order and refining, even the other 'smart kids' were afraid to talk to me. Though most things assumed of me were false.



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15 Jul 2006, 7:58 pm

I have come to learn that any girl flirting toward me is just teasing to see my reaction, so I just ignore it. I have to be very careful not to say the wrong thing in those situations. It is very embarrassing when I am accused of liking someone.


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18 Jul 2006, 12:57 pm

One time a girl in school sat by me in the hallway, along with a few other of her friends who were across the hall, and she kept asking me why I don't talk to anyone. And when I ignored her, she layed her hand on my leg.

I was caught off guard, so I scootched over. I know my face was probably red.

But... thinking back on it, I probably should have flirted back with her. She seemed desperate.