talking to a brick wall

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Have you considered that she may have clinical depression? I'm NOT a doctor but I do know that when I'm in a bad way, domestic things go out the window. I get fearful and clingy. If you actually do love her and want to help make this relationship work, explore all the possiblities.

If you can't be bothered - do her a favor and move on.

Dump her and send her my way, I'll take a good care of her.

I really haven't met that many people that are actually "lazy" as in just wanting to sit around and do nothing all the time and be taken care of. I have met many people that love to throw around the word lazy and attribute this quality to anyone that doesn't match their personal standard of cleanliness, or their level of activity and exercise, or their ambition to have a successful career, or their personal standard of what constitutes an acceptable work ethic, or has a disability and gets SSI, or is unemployed, etc. In this sense, I view the word "lazy" as a derogatory much like "stupid" "idiot" and "jerk". Like those terms, it's ultimately defined by the speaker and used, however appropriately or inappropriately, to elevate oneself relative to some other person and imply one's own superiority to the person in question. I try not to use these words.

People have different levels of motivation and energy for different things. They also have differing tolerances for clutter and mess and differing needs for material comforts. I have a level of clutter and mess that simply doesn't bother me. Why make the bed? I'm going to sleep in it again tonight. What is the point of this daily ritual? It seems to me to be work dedicated to no purpose other than vanity. My uncle's apt. is so messy that there is stuff piled up everywhere except a path to his computer, TV, bedroom, etc. I sometimes joke about it and I couldn't stand that myself, but he lives on his own so that's his business if his landlord lets him do it. Some people want a big fancy house. Some people want a small cozy house. Some people don't give a s**t if they live in a trailer. People's lifestyle is directly related to their income and if they don't care about material possessions, it shouldn't be too surprising they're not very driven to have a highly successful career or a high paying job.

So, basically, you and your GF have different ideas of what constitutes a pleasant lifestyle. Her autism may have something to do with this as sometimes there are executive function difficulties to consider, so you might consider talking to her doctor and find out more about her condition and what limitations and challenges it places before her. To some extent, relationships are about compromise, and one person should never be the one doing ALL the compromising. Ultimately, you have to decide if you love her enough to take care of her and continue in what seems to be an unequal partnership. People tend not to want to change their lifestyle, and lifestyle compatibility is the biggest thing I look for in a potential partner.

I live by this rule of thumb: Everyone is lazy.

As of right now, I have clothes I need to put in the dryer but I don't feel like doing it right now. I will do it when I feel like it. So I am being lazy.

I do not understand why "lazy" is has a bad stigma to it because people seem to get upset by that word. As a child I learned lazy means not doing something that needs to be done, taking too long to get to it. I remember mom telling me I was lazy to hang up my coat because I claimed I didn't have the time to go in the closet, grab a hanger and put my coat on it and hang it up. I just wanted to get to my Barbies or whatever. Mom told me I was being lazy. That word did not bother me. I remember when my brothers and I weren't feeding our cats, our parents called us lazy. We just didn't feel like doing it and mom and dad were doing it so why should we? They had mice to catch.

Because I am lazy, I do not get mad at my husband for not doing things right away. When he says he will do it, I leave him be. I don't nag him.

I get too lazy to go to bed, too lazy to argue with someone, too lazy to even eat, too lazy to get off the computer, too lazy to even play my video game I got from Gamefly, too lazy to watch a TV show, too lazy to watch something I got from Netflix, too lazy to go out and have fun. I even get too lazy to make a post.

I embrace the word, everyone is lazy, everyone does things under their own standards. Just as long as it gets done, why should it matter when they do it? Let them be lazy until they want to do it. It's not like they never will and it's not like they won't do it for another week or for another few days. We're all too lazy for things. Even to have fun.