Long-term relationship

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According to GoodTherapy.org there aren't any therapists within 100 miles of my city that deal with AS specifically.. I've been feeling slightly better lately, about as good as I can imagine while still living with my family.. are there any other options or should I try a regular therapist?

I've been speaking with my gf throughout this entire situation and even though it's not the easiest thing in the world to avoid walking on certain eggshells for me, she's been absolutely incredible. I literally love her more than anything and I'd just like to start feeling like the man she sees in my eyes.

Hmm....is there a teaching hospital any closer to where you live? If there is, you can check with their psychiatry/psychology department to see if there's someone on staff who deals with AS. But if there isn't a teaching hospital any closer to you, you can still benefit from working with a good therapist. Disclose your AS when you interview him/her, and find out if he/she has any "go to" resources who can partner with him/her (a shrink/therapist who can consult your therapist about how best to help you).

Just keep in mind, though, that doing some reading about dysfunctional families will really help you understand the dynamics of the family you grew up in. There's something about knowing that what happened in your family can be observed, diagnosed, quantified, predicted....it's very soothing. That's another facet of growing up in a dysfunctional family - the isolation, the feeling that the kind of stuff that happened in your family couldn't possibly happen in any other family. It's really helpful to understand that you experienced what an awful lot of people have experienced.

I think it's completely awesome that you want to "start feeling like the man she sees," - I think you really have a chance to make that happen. When faced with your situation, too many people give up before they even start. It's a tragedy, because pretty much everyone can improve their life - they just have to be willing to do the work. And you, OP - are willing to do the work. Good for you.

You've been great! Simply knowing it's not permanent has boosted my self-esteem dramatically, I've felt a ton more confident about myself and my relationship since last Friday, a lot of little things that'd make me feel insecure either haven't, or haven't been hitting me with even a fraction of the strength. Which books should I start with? Other than On: The Family.

Well, thank you. I think that discovering that you really do have the power to change the way you see yourself and, in turn, the way you live your life is an absolutely major step forward. I'm really proud of you, and I'm glad you're feeling so much better.

Susan Forward wrote an awesome book called "Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life." It really is an incredibly helpful book.

In terms of personal healing, I can recommend a few more:

"You Can Heal Your Life" by Louise Hay. It's a little spiritual and "out there" - but she is just an incredibly beautiful person, and very inspirational.

Also, "The Power of Intention" by Wayne Dyer. Really good information about how to become aware of your conscious thoughts, and how those thoughts inform what you do and how you feel. Really wonderful perspective.

I have my fingers crossed for you. Feel free to PM me if you have more questions. Good luck.