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I don't want to date poor people

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meems
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12 Mar 2011, 4:50 am

If she never knows he's the greatest guy she'll ever meet I don't think she'll feel loss as a result of rejecting him. Since he's being rejected in this hypothetical, he'll probably be the one feeling like he lost out on his chance to date her, because he couldn't even pay his phone bill.

Another hypothetical... there's the possibility that if she compromises and dates a poor guy, she might think he's the greatest guy she'll ever meet and then look back later in life and realize she's wasted her time trying to make a relationship work with a guy who can't even manage to pay his phone bill... I think that might cause a feeling of loss.



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12 Mar 2011, 5:43 am

meems wrote:
If she never knows he's the greatest guy she'll ever meet I don't think she'll feel loss as a result of rejecting him. Since he's being rejected in this hypothetical, he'll probably be the one feeling like he lost out on his chance to date her, because he couldn't even pay his phone bill.

Another hypothetical... there's the possibility that if she compromises and dates a poor guy, she might think he's the greatest guy she'll ever meet and then look back later in life and realize she's wasted her time trying to make a relationship work with a guy who can't even manage to pay his phone bill... I think that might cause a feeling of loss.


I'm not really talking about feelings of loss but about actual loss. When she rejects him she will not feel a loss, but she will actually lose the chance to be with a great guy. And the guy may feel loss when she rejects him, but he will actually win something in the long run: not being with a woman who resents him for being poor. I know men who have wifes who resents them for being poor, and believe me it would have been best for them if these women would have rejected them in the first place. It would have saved them decades of misery.


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meems
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12 Mar 2011, 6:03 am

I think having to pay his phone bill would be an actual loss of money, which is the problem in the first place. Luckily none of this will bother her because as you said, she'll lose something she didn't want in the first place,.

Sounds like a win win situation! ^_^



meems
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12 Mar 2011, 6:05 am

Man, considering our hypothetical poor guy might just steal her wallet,(or murder and eat her!) I think she's not losing or gaining anything, just avoiding an unpleasant douche.

I don't like your hypothetical jerk, and I don't understand why he wants to murder and eat her! Maybe he can't afford food. :(



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12 Mar 2011, 6:05 am

wefunction wrote:
There is no middle class. It's a marketing gimmick used by politicians to get you to support whatever crap they're trying to sell.


there IS a middle class, it is composed of uppity working class folk who fancy themselves as a cut above their proletarian brethren, and who believe they on an automatic and exclusive upward escalator which will deliver them to the upper class.



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12 Mar 2011, 6:25 am

Kiran wrote:
If you want to be materialistic, it's your choice. There are no laws against that. But you should know this: the greatest guy you're ever gonna meet may be a poor guy. And when you reject him, it will be your loss, not his.


Its actually his loss. She doesn't want to date him! Nice guiltrip though.



Kiran
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12 Mar 2011, 7:11 am

meems wrote:
Man, considering our hypothetical poor guy might just steal her wallet,(or murder and eat her!) I think she's not losing or gaining anything, just avoiding an unpleasant douche.

I don't like your hypothetical jerk, and I don't understand why he wants to murder and eat her! Maybe he can't afford food. :(


I hope you're sarcastic.


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Kiran
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12 Mar 2011, 7:24 am

hale_bopp wrote:
Kiran wrote:
If you want to be materialistic, it's your choice. There are no laws against that. But you should know this: the greatest guy you're ever gonna meet may be a poor guy. And when you reject him, it will be your loss, not his.


Its actually his loss. She doesn't want to date him! Nice guiltrip though.


No, he wins. He doesn't have to be with a shallow, materialistic woman. And she should feel guilty. She can't love a man because he's poor?! WTF?! That's like saying you can't love someone because they're black or short or tall or green eyed or something else the person has no control over.


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hale_bopp
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12 Mar 2011, 7:27 am

People can have control over their finances.

Not that I care, I've already stated I won't not date someone because they're poor unless they're the leeching kind.



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12 Mar 2011, 8:43 am

hale_bopp wrote:
People can have control over their finances.


inasmuch as the skipper of the titanic had control over how fast his ship sank.



emlion
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12 Mar 2011, 8:46 am

i don't think it makes you a bad person.
everyone has their criteria, although usually people don't really say why they reject people.
at least you're being honest.



auntblabby
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12 Mar 2011, 8:52 am

emlion wrote:
i don't think it makes you a bad person. everyone has their criteria, although usually people don't really say why they reject people. at least you're being honest.


a scrupulously honest person who is also kind [very rare bird] will temper their honesty with some artfully disingenuous bon mots, from time to time, ever sensitive to the needs of their company.



emlion
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12 Mar 2011, 8:53 am

oh i'm not saying say to the person 'sorry, too poor!' - but i mean admitting it to yourself.
like some people, for example, won't date someone because they're too fat but will tell themselves it's for another reason.



mgran
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12 Mar 2011, 8:56 am

Well, I think you're a snob. But I wouldn't worry about it if I were you. If poor people knew your attitude, I'm pretty sure they wouldn't want to go out with you either.



auntblabby
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12 Mar 2011, 8:58 am

emlion wrote:
oh i'm not saying say to the person 'sorry, too poor!' - but i mean admitting it to yourself.
like some people, for example, won't date someone because they're too fat but will tell themselves it's for another reason.


what i said can apply to the self as well, as we all ['cept for sociopaths] like to see ourselves as good people, and filtering out mate material due to external criteria may make some people feel unpleasantly mercenary. so a lot of us will make ourselves feel better about ourselves by telling ourselves the same kinds of little white lies we routinely exchange with others, as the social lubricant that keeps us all a bit more civil.



emlion
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12 Mar 2011, 9:02 am

auntblabby wrote:
emlion wrote:
oh i'm not saying say to the person 'sorry, too poor!' - but i mean admitting it to yourself.
like some people, for example, won't date someone because they're too fat but will tell themselves it's for another reason.


what i said can apply to the self as well, as we all ['cept for sociopaths] like to see ourselves as good people, and filtering out mate material due to external criteria may make some people feel unpleasantly mercenary. so a lot of us will make ourselves feel better about ourselves by telling ourselves the same kinds of little white lies we routinely exchange with others, as the social lubricant that keeps us all a bit more civil.


I suppose. I try not to lie to myself anymore, it takes all the responsibility out of my own actions.
I see your point though.