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ToadOfSteel
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18 Mar 2011, 3:50 pm

emlion wrote:
Chronos wrote:
hill-o-beans wrote:
ToadOfSteel wrote:
It's long past time that all the guys here stop blaming others for their own problems. Whether it is an individual or a group of people or an entire gender, the fact remains that the problems are our own.

There is a subtle difference between discussing an issue that might involve gender differences and outright blaming an entire gender. I, for one, say that women just don't like me. But you don't see me blaming them for it. I've long since stepped up and accepted that I'm unlovable; I'm the one with a problem, not them. I can also freely admit i have a bit of a jealousy problem, and I feel bitter at those who are fortunate enough to be able to get into and manage a relationship, but again, it's not their fault i'm unlovable either.

It's time for those of you out there that blame others for your own problems to man up and accept this. I know it's hard to do that, but that's what distinguishes the men from the boys (or the women from the girls, whichever your case may be).


oh god, the femi-nazis got to you too. this is like invasion of the body-snatchers.


Where do you see anything femi-nazi about this post?


he's trolling. :roll:
used the word 'femi-nazi' on other boards too where it's not been warrented.


do you think i'm trolling? That wasn't my intent...



emlion
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18 Mar 2011, 3:51 pm

not you.
the guy who said the femi-nazi's got you.

i like your post.



The_Face_of_Boo
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18 Mar 2011, 4:18 pm

chinatown wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Image
You are the pride of America, son.

ROFL! That one really got to me.




A Chinese spy .....I see *nodding head*



draelynn
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18 Mar 2011, 4:29 pm

hill-o-beans wrote:
ToadOfSteel wrote:
It's long past time that all the guys here stop blaming others for their own problems. Whether it is an individual or a group of people or an entire gender, the fact remains that the problems are our own.

There is a subtle difference between discussing an issue that might involve gender differences and outright blaming an entire gender. I, for one, say that women just don't like me. But you don't see me blaming them for it. I've long since stepped up and accepted that I'm unlovable; I'm the one with a problem, not them. I can also freely admit i have a bit of a jealousy problem, and I feel bitter at those who are fortunate enough to be able to get into and manage a relationship, but again, it's not their fault i'm unlovable either.

It's time for those of you out there that blame others for your own problems to man up and accept this. I know it's hard to do that, but that's what distinguishes the men from the boys (or the women from the girls, whichever your case may be).


oh god, the femi-nazis got to you too. this is like invasion of the body-snatchers.


Sieg heil!

I always thought I looked good in a uniform and leather jackboots... 8)



Xeno
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18 Mar 2011, 4:52 pm

draelynn wrote:
hill-o-beans wrote:
ToadOfSteel wrote:
It's long past time that all the guys here stop blaming others for their own problems. Whether it is an individual or a group of people or an entire gender, the fact remains that the problems are our own.

There is a subtle difference between discussing an issue that might involve gender differences and outright blaming an entire gender. I, for one, say that women just don't like me. But you don't see me blaming them for it. I've long since stepped up and accepted that I'm unlovable; I'm the one with a problem, not them. I can also freely admit i have a bit of a jealousy problem, and I feel bitter at those who are fortunate enough to be able to get into and manage a relationship, but again, it's not their fault i'm unlovable either.

It's time for those of you out there that blame others for your own problems to man up and accept this. I know it's hard to do that, but that's what distinguishes the men from the boys (or the women from the girls, whichever your case may be).


oh god, the femi-nazis got to you too. this is like invasion of the body-snatchers.


Sieg heil!

I always thought I looked good in a uniform and leather jackboots... 8)


Ilsa, She Wolf of the SS = hot. Wait... what are we talking about, again? :P



dunbots
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18 Mar 2011, 4:56 pm

Theriouthly guyth...

Image



RICKY5
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18 Mar 2011, 4:59 pm

ToadOfSteel wrote:
emlion wrote:
Chronos wrote:
hill-o-beans wrote:
ToadOfSteel wrote:
It's long past time that all the guys here stop blaming others for their own problems. Whether it is an individual or a group of people or an entire gender, the fact remains that the problems are our own.

There is a subtle difference between discussing an issue that might involve gender differences and outright blaming an entire gender. I, for one, say that women just don't like me. But you don't see me blaming them for it. I've long since stepped up and accepted that I'm unlovable; I'm the one with a problem, not them. I can also freely admit i have a bit of a jealousy problem, and I feel bitter at those who are fortunate enough to be able to get into and manage a relationship, but again, it's not their fault i'm unlovable either.

It's time for those of you out there that blame others for your own problems to man up and accept this. I know it's hard to do that, but that's what distinguishes the men from the boys (or the women from the girls, whichever your case may be).


oh god, the femi-nazis got to you too. this is like invasion of the body-snatchers.



Where do you see anything femi-nazi about this post?


he's trolling. :roll:
used the word 'femi-nazi' on other boards too where it's not been warrented.


do you think i'm trolling? That wasn't my intent...



Of course you are not trolling, Toad. This is just your daily ploy for some validation. You just want mommy to tell you that you are a good boy. :roll:



RICKY5
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18 Mar 2011, 5:01 pm

draelynn wrote:
hill-o-beans wrote:
ToadOfSteel wrote:
It's long past time that all the guys here stop blaming others for their own problems. Whether it is an individual or a group of people or an entire gender, the fact remains that the problems are our own.

There is a subtle difference between discussing an issue that might involve gender differences and outright blaming an entire gender. I, for one, say that women just don't like me. But you don't see me blaming them for it. I've long since stepped up and accepted that I'm unlovable; I'm the one with a problem, not them. I can also freely admit i have a bit of a jealousy problem, and I feel bitter at those who are fortunate enough to be able to get into and manage a relationship, but again, it's not their fault i'm unlovable either.

It's time for those of you out there that blame others for your own problems to man up and accept this. I know it's hard to do that, but that's what distinguishes the men from the boys (or the women from the girls, whichever your case may be).


oh god, the femi-nazis got to you too. this is like invasion of the body-snatchers.


Sieg heil!

I always thought I looked good in a uniform and leather jackboots... 8)


Uh-oh...Looks like I'm gonna be turned into soap! :lol:



hill-o-beans
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18 Mar 2011, 5:02 pm

Well at least Aspie males will be hygienic for once in history.



Xeno
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18 Mar 2011, 5:22 pm

hill-o-beans wrote:
Well at least Aspie males will be hygienic for once in history.


Hey now! I may be disorganized, clumsy, stubborn, confusing, angry, and perverted, but I'll be damned if I'm unhygienic! XD



draelynn
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18 Mar 2011, 5:33 pm

Relax boys - there are much better uses for you than soap... :roll: although clean is good. We like clean.

...and I need step away from this conversation... I'm veering way off course here...



happymusic
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18 Mar 2011, 5:36 pm

dunbots wrote:
Theriouthly guyth...

Image


:lmao: :lmao: :lmao:

Toad, I am one woman who thinks you are a-okay. :)



CanadianRose
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18 Mar 2011, 6:38 pm

ToadOfSteel wrote:
It's long past time that all the guys here stop blaming others for their own problems. Whether it is an individual or a group of people or an entire gender, the fact remains that the problems are our own.

There is a subtle difference between discussing an issue that might involve gender differences and outright blaming an entire gender. I, for one, say that women just don't like me. But you don't see me blaming them for it. I've long since stepped up and accepted that I'm unlovable; I'm the one with a problem, not them. I can also freely admit i have a bit of a jealousy problem, and I feel bitter at those who are fortunate enough to be able to get into and manage a relationship, but again, it's not their fault i'm unlovable either.

It's time for those of you out there that blame others for your own problems to man up and accept this. I know it's hard to do that, but that's what distinguishes the men from the boys (or the women from the girls, whichever your case may be).


The fact that you are taking ownership of your life is good.

I am a 40 year old woman. I met my boyfriend (now husband) when I was 31. I was quite luckless at love for the most part before then. It wasn't "mens" fault. If I was putting myself into situations where the men around me didn't find me attractive - I needed to either change myself or change my situations. Over the years, I probably did a little of both. I changed my social situation. I was going to a very conservative church at the time and, frankly, the men THERE were a shallow lot. These men were not representative of all men - it was just a shallow social mix. I left this church and started socializing in other places (clubs, hobbies, etc). I found the men in these places more easy going and less shallow.

I also worked on myself. I started being more positive. I looked on the bright side of life. I spent more time sharing with people about good things that I noticed and stopped complaining so much. I took an active interest in people around me. I would speak to people about their interests and share positive things about my own. I kept negative and judgmental comments to myself. I started being a more interesting and engaging person to be around.

It was this combination that made me happier. Even if I had never met my boyfriend (now husband) seven years ago and had remained single, I would have had more friends, engaging rapport with acquaintances and a more joyful life.

I noticed that you are merely in your early twenties. It might be a little soon to consider yourself "unlovable" by any stretch of the imagination.

You might meet an interesting woman and have a nice relationship in the next few years, the next decade, or ???. Or maybe you will remain single and unattached. People can be fulfilled and happy with our without a relationship.

Having joy and fulfillment is my sincere wish for you.



hill-o-beans
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18 Mar 2011, 6:41 pm

Well done CR, we need that.



sunshower
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18 Mar 2011, 7:40 pm

CanadianRose wrote:

Having joy and fulfillment is my sincere wish for you.


Same here. ToS, I think not blaming others for your problems is healthy, but considering yourself unlovable is unhealthy. You are not unlovable. If you need evidence of this, look at all the people on this forum who like you. I like you. If you find parts about yourself you don't like, then focus your attention and energy on changing them rather than in self hate. I am a person who spent years immersed in self hate (the way you seem to be now), and I can tell you it doesn't come without a price. All that time of self hate has damaged me, and I find even now that I have a healthier mindset I often relapse, and even now when I have met this amazing guy that I really don't deserve, these neuroses still crop up constantly and cause both of us distress.

The sooner you break the cycle of self-hate, the better. It is destructive and only brings suffering, not joy, to anyone (it can bring suffering to people other than yourself also, as I found out the hard way).

When something goes wrong, or you feel sad, try not to instantly blame yourself and sink into self hate, try to think proactively and positively about the situation, realize that it is not always your fault (often these things, especially social misunderstandings, are NOBODY'S fault - you don't need to blame anyone, be that yourself or others), try to think about ways you could tackle the same situation in the future that might work better. Think about things you have achieved and are good at, rather than things you haven't managed.


_________________
Into the dark...


Asp-Z
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19 Mar 2011, 3:14 am

IvyMike wrote:
Image


Image