Anyone else feel like there isnt a type of girl that would..

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01 May 2011, 9:36 pm

Mindslave wrote:

When I meet someone, I'm either too this or not enough that. And when someone does accept me, I either screw it up or, in some cases, they accept me for the wrong reasons. For the most part, I'm a 35 year old stuck in a 23 year olds body. Considering how immaturity is glorified today, I don't stand much of a chance. I've always said that I have to wait for other people to catch up with me, and although I have a lot of growing up to do, it's still accurate to say that.

I have the opposite problem. I'm too immature for adult women. I'm a 14year-old in a 28 year-olds body.

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techstepgenr8tion
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01 May 2011, 9:52 pm

Mindslave wrote:

The thing that sucks about it, they'll go from being way behind you to irrecoverably in front of you. This happens simply because they (your peers on both sides) have had all kinds of learning experiences and resources thrown at them, you've had to struggle to get by on your own, so they've both been able to learn more than you at the same time as they keep themselves as immature for as long as possible because its where they'd rather be.

I hate seeing people starved out and then come up short when all is said and done but, it's kind of happened to me already. I think it just goes to show that its really all random and we can't expect much fairness - or perhaps any - in terms of how life rolls out for us.

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01 May 2011, 9:58 pm

I believe that there is someone out there for everybody, even those of you who don't believe there is. Somehow I haven't had the optimism beaten out of me yet.

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03 May 2011, 4:21 pm

techstepgenr8tion wrote:

Mindslave wrote:

Well, I might not have had more learning opportunities, but I've made the most of the opportunities that I've had. When it's all said and done, the main underlying reason I have trouble isn't other people, it's me. As long as I'm not willing to put the work into a relationship, it's never going to happen. Even though I would like to cling to the idea that everyone else is either above me or beneath me, if you spend enough time with someone, you love them in spite of yourself. We are taught that loving family is natural, but it's a learned behavior. If I found out tomorrow that my father wasn't actually my father, does that erase 23 years of my life? No. I spent enough time with the man that I understand his behavior, and it's much easier to accept someone for who they are when you know who they are. It's not that I'm too lazy to get to know someone, it's that I'm too afraid. Love requires raw vulnerability, which is something that I still have, but I misplaced. There is no perfect girl, no perfect situation, there are simple many girls and many situations. If I find a girl and a situation that's good enough to sustain, and I put the work into it, then something is bound to happen. Good, bad, at least something will happen. The fact that I'm not doing this means that I don't want a relationship, which is why I go around saying I don't want a relationship. It's easier than explaining all of this.

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03 May 2011, 6:36 pm

Well, given that I'm distant, cold, somewhat childish, cynical and have a weird sense of humor, I'm sure it'll be very hard to find a girl who can put up with my craziness. [sarcasm]However, I'm kind of handsome. That'll probably do me a lot of good.[/sarcasm]

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03 May 2011, 7:14 pm

It's like there is nothing in between being someone's fantasy mate, or being the person that someone settles for when they can't get anyone else.

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03 May 2011, 9:38 pm

Brianruns10 wrote:

I fear that all the time. I mean, bad enough to be an Aspie, but that I'm very adamant about not having kids, both because I cannot bear to be around them, and because I don't want to pass my genes on and have a kid like me, or worse a full blown special needs Autie...together, I fear I'm simply damaged goods no woman would ever, ever want.

I relate to this except I wouldn't put damaged good per se. Relationships are just overly complicated and there's so much emotional and social investment. For me it's the whole dynamics. Not a lot of neurotypicals or people who don't understand aspergers can understand that how I behave socially or outwardly isn't exactly how I feel on the inside. If that makes any sense...

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03 May 2011, 9:50 pm

Magnus_Rex wrote:

I have an NT who's in my class who looks a lot like you (Venezuelan though), just graduated highschool, was on the wrestling team, he does date some very attractive girls and I'm not the least bit surprised as he's got the quiet confidence with things as well.

Out of curiosity though, how are the girls in Sao Paulo? More engaging? More skiddish? I get the impression that the girls in South America would be pretty assertive.

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03 May 2011, 10:23 pm

Bethie wrote:

I feel like that, about men. Not cause I'm "unique", but because I'm insufferable.

Same. Who the hell would want a girl like me when there are plenty of more attractive and intelligent NTs that are willing to open their legs for them? :roll:

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03 May 2011, 10:27 pm

Erisad wrote:

Who the hell would want a girl like me when there are plenty of more attractive and intelligent NTs that are willing to open their legs for them? :roll:

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03 May 2011, 10:28 pm

emuman100 wrote:

Erisad wrote:

Who the hell would want a girl like me when there are plenty of more attractive and intelligent NTs that are willing to open their legs for them? :roll:

If you met me in person, you would run for the hills like all the other men. :roll:

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03 May 2011, 10:34 pm

Erisad wrote:

If you met me in person, you would run for the hills like all the other men. :roll:

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techstepgenr8tion
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03 May 2011, 10:35 pm

Mindslave wrote:

Very true on all accounts. I think when I wrote that I might have been on a bit of a turn, though I agree its an upside down world and yes - we need to make what we can of it rather than worry too much about the shoulds. Likely when I do go on perhaps an overly-pessimistic page I'm not so much embracing pessimism as much as I'm trying to put a lot of the 'shoulds' to death that I believe still crop up from time to time.

We do kind of need to live by our values, be our best selves, and accept wherever that ultimately takes us, otherwise even if we get what we want we're not in a stable or strong enough position to even enjoy it.

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techstepgenr8tion
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03 May 2011, 10:38 pm

Erisad wrote:

emuman100 wrote:

Erisad wrote:

Who the hell would want a girl like me when there are plenty of more attractive and intelligent NTs that are willing to open their legs for them? :roll:

If you met me in person, you would run for the hills like all the other men. :roll:

If you find yourself in that dilemma my advice would remain the same - be true to yourself, rep the best you have for your own satisfaction, odds are in the vast sea of people out there that something will eventually turn up and - if you have to wait a long time - odds are it will be well aimed and on point.

The silver lining of that as well - for I think most of us dealing with that - I think we have a much better chance up ending up with relationships or marriages that are closer to 95% for our extra waiting rather than being the types of people who can date and enamor anything down to 60%. That seems to be the biggest downfall and wipe-out point for NT's as well, things can work too quickly, blow up in their faces, and they can't get a refund on the decisions that got them there.

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Last edited by techstepgenr8tion on 03 May 2011, 10:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Erisad
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03 May 2011, 10:39 pm

emuman100 wrote:

Erisad wrote:

If you met me in person, you would run for the hills like all the other men. :roll:

See? You're already angry at me and we haven't even met yet. My point has been proven.

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03 May 2011, 10:44 pm

techstepgenr8tion wrote:

Erisad wrote:

emuman100 wrote:

Erisad wrote:

Who the hell would want a girl like me when there are plenty of more attractive and intelligent NTs that are willing to open their legs for them? :roll:

If you met me in person, you would run for the hills like all the other men. :roll:

Well, I can't wait too long. I DO want to have children someday. So I'm on a 19 year countdown until menopause. I have that much time to lose weight, attract a mate, date for a few years, be engaged, get married and THEN have children. And unless the next guy I date is "the one" I'm going to be behind schedule by quite a bit. >.<

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