Am I good enough for a good man?

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See the world as it is, not as you want it to be. To even have half a chance, you'll have to ditch all the feminist dogma you were force-fed in your youth. I do laugh when your feminist colleagues write article after article about how fat is sexy. Maybe in bizzaro world. You've made a good start by accepting that most men (exclusions being fat fetishists) do not find overweight women attractive - anyone who tells you otherwise is an idiot and should be ignored. Lose the weight and your options will multiply ten-fold. Good luck.

I'd be happy to dispel some other myths about men and relationships that women love to believe if I'm not banned for this post.

Erisad I´d be very surprised if you were looking for a perfect male.

The other day for example I was talking to a friend about how we discuss things quite heavily frequently and she said that thats what keeps a relationship going. No relationship is going to be perfect and you are very likely to run accross some trouble so one of the qualities he should have is being able to discuss things openly, which isnt something a perfect man would do(the relationship would be so perfect you wouldnt need to discuss things(I think Im about to puke after writing that down)).

Besides theres nothing wrong with dreaming about an ideal partner(mary sue/gary stu) as long as you are able to realize that no real person is going to fit your standards perfectly and you should attempt to look for someone thats close enough to your ideals.

ps:you are misspelling stephenie meyer´s name(Yes I read twilight before the fan craze started.)

Well I am a gorgeous woman and have had multiple guys approaching me all my life. Did that make it any easier to find Mr. Right?? Strangely, no. Although men find me attractive, they can't handle my emotional needs. That leads to a whole lot of dating and breaking up or being dumped. You'd think if you were skinny you could find a good man just like that, but it's not true. Now I am not saying that being hugely overweight is necessarily attractive; by all means go ahead and begin to get healthier, and you may even get more dates when you're smaller. But Mr. Right is just as elusive for attractive people as unattractive people. Getting hit on more by men does not equate to quality relationships.

However, feeling unattractive does contribute to lack of a social life because lack of confidence is a pretty strong date-deterrent. My best recommendation is to get a nice hairstyle and some up to date clothes. And realize that when men make degrading comments about your appearance, it is not about you but it is how that man normally approaches the world: negatively. Although I am good-looking, I have had experiences where certain men would love to point out any little flaws like stretch marks on my tummy or one memorable stupid comment from a certain person that my hair looked like a poodle (just because it was curly!). Also, my friend's ex-husband used to constantly call her "fat" although she was 5'6" and 108 lbs. Men with that "let's find something wrong with you and rub it in your face" mentality are not quality relationship material, and you can feel free to dump them as soon as possible.

Finding Mr. Right is almost like a numbers game or lottery. You have to meet some quite large number of men before both of you click. It would be beyond belief to suppose that you can stay home, never socialize, and magically some man will spot you and be attracted. I'm not saying that you are staying home and never socializing, but that isolation would hurt your chances more than any amount of fat or ugliness. Meanwhile, looking for love online is even harder because, as you have found out already, most people you begin conversing with seem to disappear. Just to put it into perspective, I personally received over 10,000 email replies to my online personal ad from men, before I found one I wanted to be with. That is a hell of a lot of rubbish to wade through for ONE positive hit. I believe this rate-of-return is fairly typical.

Therefore, it is logical to presume that your search will be intensive and time-consuming, but in no way will you ultimately fail unless you utterly give up. The point is to try to live a positive life outside of searching for a man, because this could take several years, and there is nothing more boring, pointless, or depressing than feeling woe-is-me constantly for years on end while you could have been doing something more productive and fun.

I think it's good you're trying to lose weight, I wish I had that strength, but I totally disagree with lilypadfad. Although yes, a lot of people only want to look at how people look I know for a fact that's not true for everyone. I know several people in my neighbourhood who have happy relations and are by far thin. The only good reason to lose weight is because it's better for your health.

Furthermore I want to say that you shouldn't give up, there are definitely good guys out there that would love to be with you and vice versa

I also think everyone is good enough for a relationship (except evil people perhaps).

Is there a practical reason why you can't drive or learn to drive?

I agree that living in a rural setting or very small town, with no way to get around, will severely limit your social prospects. Both in terms of dating men, and more importantly in every other way.

What if a man was seriously interested in you? How would that work, on a practical level?

Would he have to drive to your house to pick you up for every single date? Would your conservative family "allow" you to stay overnight at his house, or even visit him for a week or two? Assuming that he will not be one of the local men and would have to presumably drive some large distance to come get you.

If you're not mobile, in a remote area, and if your family won't let you visit a man even if he picked you up and paid for a hotel room, then even a very interested man may find those barriers very difficult to work around. This makes you very nearly a prisoner. From my experience, it also tends to lead to the "imprisoned" person making rather hasty decisions to move in together if the man offers it, because it offers a very attractive escape on the one hand, and because they fear the man will lose interest in the difficulty of continuing to date long-distance on the other hand.

Of course you are

and please don't listen to that BS about drawing up your perfect man, no man is perfect, no woman is perfect. We all have flaws, and what I'd find very important in a partner is her ability to support me in dealing with my flaws or maybe even appreciating me for my imperfections.

Now, you want a Mr. Right and unfortunately I don't believe there's that many fairy tale knights left in the world but what I can probably surmice is that they have plenty of options. So what you'll probably find happening is them having the option between you, and someone of similar personal value but with a better body. This will especially be true if you're looking at a place like OkCupid which like all dating sites is such a bloody meatmarket. (And if some of you think looks shouldn't matter, great for you! I just don't feel like waking up next to Jabba the Hut no matter how much her personality is like Mother Theresa)
Have you considered looking for a overweight guy? He could be perfectly awesome and sweet guy, just with weight issues. Pretty much a male version of you from what I gather? Furthermore you'd even have your weightstruggles in common.

Anyway, I absolutely applaud your attempts at losing weight, it's gonna be great for your health and your confidence. and I know this can be hard, I'm working on building muscles so I don't keep looking like a freaking stick-man, but somehow it's going too slowly for me to fathom
In the meantime, keep at it. No matter how many ideals we get throw in our faces through media etc. beauty is still in the eye of the beholder

Well I don't really care if those guys are 100 pounds or 400 pounds, they kinda acted like jerks. But unfortunately that's the game of these dating sites, everyone's trying to do "the best they can do" and that happens on a very shallow basis.
I didn't mean to suggest you didn't deserve a guy who's good looking btw, merely that a guy with similar weight issues would actually have a better basis for understanding part of what makes you, you

I don't know. I'm confused about everything. I just want to give up but I can't because if I do I feel like there's no meaning in my life.