Love or Lust? No way to find out!

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I can understand it. But...alas!

Immature? What is your definition of immature?

I only want to talk my own interest in public most of time, or talk nothing. I feel quite uneasy when he talks about common things in public and pretend to have interest with them.. I know he is not so and tried to make him talk about his interest a little bit( I have never[u] force him!!) But he just tried to go back to common subjects.Then I felt extremely jealous...

Maybe he just a bit coward? Even to show himself?

He said he wants to know my heart and my soul..

Anyway, what is your definition of immature？

Rubbish! Who are these 'others'? Are you different religions or something? (I don't think it's a dealbreaker, but some still do)



I don't think you can expect a boyfriend to only talk about your interests; there has to be a bit of give-and-take, but I do understand the bad mood bit.

When I was younger I met a couple of guys who frustrated me for some reason whenever they talked. Took me years to work out why, but I think it's because they were single male friends who (I thought) sent out mixed signals but would always only talk about their interests or random stuff (can't explain better... chit chat I guess).

Sometimes it was interesting to have a debate, but often I felt simply like a wall for them to bounce ideas off . It got boring after a while.



Kind of. Somewhere where it's frowned on to hold hands, kiss in public etc. A lot of middle-East/Asian countries would be like that.



I don't mind at all. I don't, but I don't list where I'm from on WP (privacy freak )

I cannot understand it either.
I just hope he would like to show his charm a little bit, which is from his heart; rather than talk about random and general stuff, I feel quite embarassed when he does so... I like to talk about his interests but he never talks about them in public

Probably he is just immature... But I cannot even understand what's the exact meaning of immature..
Is"mature"itself an ability to thinking in different ways??? Or to be able to behave as very sophisticated in social issues?

I will make everybody read it..

Probably the solution will come next!

No, not everybody at all!!

I don't need contempt, I need people who are similar to me and can feel empathy!

And the most important thing is, to give me advice!! !! !

I cannot just let it go..

I am unsure..............

Maybe hopeless,maybe not..

Maybe spiritual love can stem from physical lust

No. You're putting far too much hope into something that is likely not true. So, you have a decision to make. Do you accept the status quo? If so, do nothing. If not, then you gotta do something. Search for truth. If you like what you find, deepen your relationship. If not, it may be time to pull back and pull back, regroup, and recover.

Hello. I feel pleasant to see you again. Thank you for your help,indeed.
I can never accept such muddle, I want the real answer. We always need reasons as human beings, instead of being pure beasts.

He probably think I am not good enough, reliable enough..or worth him to reveal his heart with..

True understanding takes decades.

Saying "I don't know if I'm in love" is like saying "I don't know if I just got hit by a truck." Falling in love is devastating. If the person's looks matter in any way, you're not in love. A lot of people claim that looks don't matter for them, but they don't mean it. Imagine the person gaining 200 pounds, or suffering horrible burns in a fire. Would you still want to be with him?

Would you like to give me some explanations please?

It sounds so complex also...

I have been thinking about more than two possible meanings of it...

Thank you for your help!

Last edited by metaphysics on 04 Jun 2011, 3:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Your question is really specific....

200 pounds actually doesn't matter at all.

Suffering horrible burns in fire? I actually don't know. Maybe. There is possiblity on it..

But love may be more complex than two specific questions...

Thank you for your help..

Of course love is more complex than two specific questions, but the point is that if the person you think you're in love with gets fat or loses his or her looks in some other way and you subsequently lose interest in that person, you're absolutely not in love. Love works like beer goggles, making a person look perfect in your eyes no matter what.

I'm not so sure about that. Love is definitely complex, no doubt about that, but the 'thunderstruck' love isn't for everyone; some relationships do grow slowly and are just as happy. Even the most passionate couples usually seem to simmer into a quieter type of love after a year or two.

Looks matter, but different amounts for different people and you don't need to delude yourself that the other person is 'perfect' to love them. What you describe about the beer goggles sounds a little more like limerance than love.

Looking no longer matters much if you know the person's heart . Mutual understanding, passion, obsession...
Spiritual things are more than physical to me, for most of time.

His looking is one of the several person's that can make me feel secure, comfortable and being able to trust.

I don't think he will love me anymore if he has been burnt in fire, as you said. He seems not that close to me even he is in his current form, such a perfect one( in the distorted view of the extremeness of my love, as what you saying) apart from in private. But we have difficulties about communication.

I could only say several words, and stopped to thinking for an accurate way to say it. As a result, I may expressed nothing.

He is similar....

I like to meditating and to be alone also.

But I feel I want him to be with me when I am in public. I want so, I am thinking so even in every second!