No more the understanding guy.

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MCalavera
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15 Jun 2011, 9:05 pm

Chronos wrote:

However wait until they explicitly reject you.

I had the impression they already did.

Chronos
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15 Jun 2011, 9:08 pm

MCalavera wrote:

Chronos wrote:

However wait until they explicitly reject you.

I had the impression they already did.

Maybe they did...or maybe they just mentioned a criteria you know you didn't meet and you just distanced yourself. I guess you are going to have to be the one to make the call.

Chronos
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15 Jun 2011, 9:08 pm

MCalavera wrote:

Chronos wrote:

However wait until they explicitly reject you.

I had the impression they already did.

Maybe they did...or maybe they just mentioned a criteria you know you didn't meet and you just distanced yourself. I guess you are going to have to be the one to make the call.

LiendaBalla
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15 Jun 2011, 9:51 pm

I agree that you distanced yourself a bit soon. It's common by most cultures that the female is persued, I think. If you drop instantly, what are they supposed to think? I don't mean harass a girl either.

GoatOnFire
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15 Jun 2011, 10:26 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Girls I approached often mention deal-breakers which are unchangeable traits of my being.

A girl I met through a local forum made it clear that she would only marry a Christian guy in a church, so I distanced myself from her.

Result: She dated a Muslim Sunni guy,a far friend of mine, for a year before breaking up with him (for a totally unrelated reason).

A coworker girl I approached, invited her to lunch several times told me "I will never marry a non-muslim" (knowing that I am atheist), so I distanced myself from her.

Result: Now she's dating the first atheist guy (from Christian Armenian family) who asked her out. They have been a year together.

Another girl made it clear to me that she only wants an outgoing extrovert guy, the opposite of her, so I didn't try again with her.

Result: She will date a guy this weekend who stays home most of the time, she told me herself that she always find him online all the time, even on weekend, and he's also of the geek type. Not outgoing at all.

My conclusion: I will never believe any girl anymore, I will keep being persistent, stubborn and determinant (like those guys did) till I get the real reason of rejection.

This is the time for the sage wisdom that can only be presented in the medium of rap.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h-EjqtXOd9I[/youtube]

Ok ladies, before you jump on me that was hyperbole and I'm just kidding.

But, there is something to be said for the differences in communication styles between men and women. I do feel that the communication style of women is more, um, layered.

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Grisha
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15 Jun 2011, 10:32 pm

deadeyexx wrote:

BlueMage wrote:

One time an unattractive guy asked me out, and without even thinking about it I started automatically making up stupid excuses not to. I tend to be an honest blunt person, so later when I thought about it I was surprised I reacted that way. So I think if a lady starts making up deal-breakers then she just isn't into you.

Yes, people love instant gratification. I'm guilty of this too. Essentially you make someone smile just long enough to get away before having to deal with any real issues.

Him: Do you want to go out?
Her: Nah, you're not my type, but you're a great guy and you'll find your match someday

The temporary ego stroke distracts him long enough for her to get away while he learns nothing and continues repeating the same mistakes. In some cases, the woman might actually delude herself into thinking she helped.

In the long run bluntness is nice and politeness is selfish and mean.

This is why 99% of dating advice sucks. It comes from people who feel good about giving someone a temporary smile while not having to hang around for thier long term misery.

Well said!

Brianruns10
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16 Jun 2011, 12:09 am

My experience has been that most NTs (men and women) are f*****g morons. So don't take it too seriously. It's just that we have to sort through the dipshits who say one thing, do another, and in general are about as wishy washy as you can get. It's why the world is filled with average, mediocre people. Because most aren't willing to make a clear cut decision, but merely settle for the first, safe opportunity.

So don't sweat it. Don't sacrifice your standards (like they do), and keep control. If the girl doesn't meet your standards, f**k her. You can do better. Learn to love yourself and your love as is, and consider a companion a nice bonus, but not essential to your happiness. And try to remind yourself, "Would you really want to be with someone who changes their values so capriciously? How can you reliable count on someone who'll so willingly compromise such supposedly core values?" Those girls were hypocrites, and hypocrites are the lowest forms of life on Earth, and not worth your time. Every time I think about a girl I liked, I just remind myself of what they're doing now. They're all corporate drones, government functionaries, who've settled for middling work, get drunk on weekends, and have resigned themselves to a life of crapping out babies. I thank goodness they rejected me...they may have though they were too good for me, but really, I consider myself too good for them, and that's what you should do. Tell yourself they're not worth your time, and you can do better. And you will!

The_Face_of_Boo
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16 Jun 2011, 5:18 am

LiendaBalla wrote:

And what I am supposed to think when they say a such thing out of the blue? That they still want to be persued?

PLA
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16 Jun 2011, 3:35 pm

Chronos wrote:

People only think they have deal breakers. The truth of the matter is, if they like you enough, for whatever reason, they will overlook the deal breakers. If they reject you on the basis of a deal breaker, they aren't sufficiently interested in you and you should move on.

However wait until they explicitly reject you.

Just like "one-hit kills" that in reality only deliver an exceptionally high damage value.

Don't mind me. :lol:

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The_Face_of_Boo
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18 Jul 2011, 4:13 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

LiendaBalla wrote:

And what am I supposed to think when they say a such thing out of the blue? That they still want to be persued?

This question remained unanswered....

Surfman
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19 Jul 2011, 4:15 am

LiendaBalla wrote:

I've never pursued a 'no girl' ever.

My guess Boo is a come on strong, sort of guy... I think its a rather common aspie trait

I'm a rejecter....I am always making up lame excuses not to friend people. Its usually because I'm a private person, and am irritated by their desire to have me

as a friend

ChrispyBiscuits
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19 Jul 2011, 12:09 pm

Girls can be very confusing to anny male.

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