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nick007
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16 Jun 2011, 5:16 pm

OneStepBeyond wrote:
nick007 wrote:
OneStepBeyond wrote:
someone you like describes their ideal partner or their 'type', and it's everything but you

I hate it when I meet all their requirements & they turn me down in favor of guys who don't meet any of em


interesting flip of events

That happens a lot. That's a lot more frustrating to me than her describing her ideal as someone who's nothing like me. At least if I don't meat any of her criteria; I know better than to waste my time trying


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16 Jun 2011, 5:18 pm

MissConstrue wrote:
OneStepBeyond wrote:
someone you like describes their ideal partner or their 'type', and it's everything but you


Use to but then got use to it. I think for me it's a little easy being someone completely outside the "ideal" box. I don't have it in my head that I can compete with this image like most women do..or guys.


i dunno if it's something i'd get used to. i guess when i really like someone they're usually unboxed too so even though i'm 'outside the ideal box' i can't help but hope they'd been looking for something unboxy all along. if you catch my drift.
:/



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16 Jun 2011, 5:20 pm

nick007 wrote:
OneStepBeyond wrote:
nick007 wrote:
OneStepBeyond wrote:
someone you like describes their ideal partner or their 'type', and it's everything but you

I hate it when I meet all their requirements & they turn me down in favor of guys who don't meet any of em


interesting flip of events

That happens a lot. That's a lot more frustrating to me than her describing her ideal as someone who's nothing like me. At least if I don't meat any of her criteria; I know better than to waste my time trying


they're most probably intimidated by all your criteria-meeting abilities 8)



The_Face_of_Boo
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16 Jun 2011, 5:21 pm

I also hate it when someone full of flaws similar to mine yet wants someone almost flawless.



nick007
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16 Jun 2011, 5:38 pm

OneStepBeyond wrote:
nick007 wrote:
OneStepBeyond wrote:
nick007 wrote:
OneStepBeyond wrote:
someone you like describes their ideal partner or their 'type', and it's everything but you

I hate it when I meet all their requirements & they turn me down in favor of guys who don't meet any of em


interesting flip of events

That happens a lot. That's a lot more frustrating to me than her describing her ideal as someone who's nothing like me. At least if I don't meat any of her criteria; I know better than to waste my time trying


they're most probably intimidated by all your criteria-meeting abilities 8)

I don't get why they would be intimidated by someone who's loyal, sensitive, caring, sportive, funny at times, & doesn't like partying with the guys.

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
I also hate it when someone full of flaws similar to mine yet wants someone almost flawless.

That frustrates me a lot to because their standards are extremely unrelasitic


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16 Jun 2011, 5:46 pm

yes, hate it. what would always go through my head is, ''don't they know i want them to describe ME?'' but i have used it as an opening to express interest, as in: ''oh, that sounds nothing like me. too bad.'' and it allowed the person to elaborate. it went any number of directions from there. risky but better than stewing about it, in my experience.


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OneStepBeyond
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16 Jun 2011, 5:54 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
yes, hate it. what would always go through my head is, ''don't they know i want them to describe ME?'' but i have used it as an opening to express interest, as in: ''oh, that sounds nothing like me. too bad.'' and it allowed the person to elaborate. it went any number of directions from there. risky but better than stewing about it, in my experience.


hmm, i figure if they like me they wouldn't be telling me about the bubbly buxom brunette they long for, so best not to probe. i'm not one to put my heart on the line



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16 Jun 2011, 7:33 pm

Quote:
Not really. Most people don't have a clue what it is they want


Spot on. People like to think they do, reality is you haven't a clue what kind of people you will end up with.

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My reaction to this scenario has always been to smirk and change the subject


When I've heard people say these sorts of things. I often begin to ponder if they have some kind of subtle hidden agenda in what they are saying. Particularly if they are an aquaintance, friend or work colleague. It's like some subtle declaration of intention without you even asking or it coming into your thought processes at any point in the conversation.

It's like when you meet with someone and they at some point within the first few sentances of their introduction have to pass mention of their partner in order to just give you this silly little message that they are taken. It takes the biscuit sometimes. Yesterday was a great example I mean FFS I'm meeting you cause your the social worker of the person I'm working with not to potentially fornicate with you deary me.

anyway sorry off topic


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16 Jun 2011, 8:03 pm

Laz wrote:
It's like when you meet with someone and they at some point within the first few sentances of their introduction have to pass mention of their partner in order to just give you this silly little message that they are taken. It takes the biscuit sometimes. Yesterday was a great example I mean FFS I'm meeting you cause your the social worker of the person I'm working with not to potentially fornicate with you deary me.


conceited much. thankfully i reckon this is a more female thing to do. if i think someone thinks i fancy them (you following?) i get really embarassed and go red; even if i don't at all. which of course probably confirms in their mind what they thought they knew all along.
(i don't know why i hate people thinking i fancy them btw :? . maybe it stems from the school playground where 'youu likee daniell' etc used to be an taunt of sorts. *slips onto psych couch*)
but yeah, maybe that's why they do it, more of a defence mechanism than a vain assumption.

Anyway, I find it confusing how people can list such specific types. i could list things i find attractive, but i don't think that would be particularly exclusive.



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16 Jun 2011, 8:05 pm

OneStepBeyond wrote:
Chronos wrote:
OneStepBeyond wrote:
someone you like describes their ideal partner or their 'type', and it's everything but you


I'm not most peoples' type and I wouldn't want to be with someone who's type I'm not.


so you don't get disappointed when you start liking someone and then find out you don't fit the bill?


You just note it and move on.


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16 Jun 2011, 8:11 pm

zen_mistress wrote:
OneStepBeyond wrote:
Chronos wrote:
OneStepBeyond wrote:
someone you like describes their ideal partner or their 'type', and it's everything but you


I'm not most peoples' type and I wouldn't want to be with someone who's type I'm not.


so you don't get disappointed when you start liking someone and then find out you don't fit the bill?


You just note it and move on.


not even a teenyweeny bit?



heckeler06
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16 Jun 2011, 8:19 pm

It's temporarily aggravating for me.

Can be beneficial--lets you know it's probably best to keep moving rather than dwell on someone who has no interest in you.



Laz
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16 Jun 2011, 8:23 pm

Quote:
You just note it and move on


Zen has a point, it's not worth feeling bad over. The chances are it was probably a really dumb off the cuff comment that the guy in question is either thinking "gosh that was a dumb thing to say" or kinda blissfully was off nattering along in his own self flatulance.

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conceited much. thankfully i reckon this is a more female thing to do. if i think someone thinks i fancy them (you following?) i get really embarassed and go red; even if i don't at all. which of course probably confirms in their mind what they thought they knew all along.
(i don't know why i hate people thinking i fancy them btw Confused . maybe it stems from the school playground where 'youu likee daniell' etc used to be an taunt of sorts. *slips onto psych couch*)
but yeah, maybe that's why they do it, more of a defence mechanism than a vain assumption.


The way I would relate to that is I hated being the centre of attention and I still do now to some degree. And I think its a feeling that your inner most thoughts are being exposed or you feel somewhat vulnerable in that situation. But I tend to only think of such things in the aftermath of such a conversation or encounter and then I have that horrid sink of the stomach feeling when i realise i most likely made an absolutle dick of myself in the process.

I had one such situation on saturday night, oh god even thinking about it makes me cringe *face palms self*

Quote:
Anyway, I find it confusing how people can list such specific types. i could list things i find attractive, but i don't think that would be particularly exclusive.


I think you need a "whole package" not individual components IMO.


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16 Jun 2011, 8:40 pm

Laz wrote:
The way I would relate to that is I hated being the centre of attention and I still do now to some degree. And I think its a feeling that your inner most thoughts are being exposed or you feel somewhat vulnerable in that situation. But I tend to only think of such things in the aftermath of such a conversation or encounter and then I have that horrid sink of the stomach feeling when i realise i most likely made an absolutle dick of myself in the process.

I had one such situation on saturday night, oh god even thinking about it makes me cringe *face palms self*


that is probably precisely it, nice work. i hate any sort of attention being on me.

care to share?

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I think you need a "whole package" not individual components IMO.


if i say i want a whole package i'll just look greedy. and if someone else said they wanted the whole package i'd just think i had no chance.



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16 Jun 2011, 9:07 pm

Its kinda silly really. I'm just my own worst enemy for kinda saying something that gives the wrong impression of me.

I have a friend who's into the same music as me n we meetup along with a group of other friends n goto gigs n clubs together. She has kinda hinted some kind of interest in me and I'm abit like oh err cause I don't really figure out peoples intentions to well

But yeah she kissed me last time we went out before we parted ways at Eustion station. Last saturday me n her were sat in a more quiet part of this club in angel. And I was kinda explaining her stuff to do with AS n said "so like when you kissed me the other week I was quite shocked by that" and she kinda gave me this really disapproving n look n said oh sorry about that.

I kinda thought in retrospect that probably sounded really dumb in how I said that but urgh I'm good at digging myself holes like that

BTW

What I mean by whole package is you kinda have to see someone as an entire entity not bits n pieces of them. A persons flawa and differences can be as much a new and exciting experiance as aspects you find appealing and attractive about them. Not like everything perfect if that makes sense?


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16 Jun 2011, 9:20 pm

i don't think that sounds like such a hideous bloop. it is just your worrying self-conscious mind amplifying events.

ahh kisses at euston station...

It makes sense, yes. we should not mention packages. or bits. and should look at whole people.