Be a woman!!

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I've yet to meet a feminist not opposed to the notion of chivalry,
but thanks for the impromptu sermon on the subject, "gentleman".

because "being a man" is a positive thing, whereas "acting like a woman" is an insult. so if you said to a woman she should "act like a woman" it would be redundant.

a manly woman is celebrated, whereas a womanly man is derided. my friend said that, at his workplace, the guys call each other ladies as an insult, but women who are called 'one of the guys' will feel proud.

put another way... a man who is not "being a man" is supposedly acting like a woman, and if he were more manly it would be a good thing. the reverse would make no sense as nobody wants to encourage a woman to be more womanly in a stereotypical way - it would seem to be a bad thing.


i have no idea. i respect both women who choose traditional roles, and those who eschew them. so i can't think of how to apply that phrase uniformly.


why would i ever want to do that? men are complex creatures who have all sorts of interests and personalities. i don't get why i would i tell them what they are supposed to be like.

I love the breakdown of "3"- should the opposite sex force on the other gendered ideals which the individual is expected to live up to,
or should it be members of their own sex?

What a "choice".

How bout we all strive to be good *people*, as opposed to fitting into absurd dichotomous caricatures based on genitalia?

+1

The myth of male power. Being a man is a bit like living in a capitalist country where
It can be easier to get rich , but much easier to end up in poverty on streets. This is
true emotionally as well as financially. Living as a woman is a bit like living in a
socialist country like Sweden. Were so long as you have a healthy attitude to work,
you will not end up in poverty.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FFtGwBsKgKs[/youtube]

I guess you don't know much about which sex disproportionately lives in poverty and which has a disproportionate number of millionaires.

What are my believes and thoughts on "our culture" with delineating gender to behaviour now?
Please define your meaning of culture and "our culture" as that area can be a mine field now! Now are all behaviours classed by gender and social roles plus by gender identities in binary opposition? NO its not digital its analogue. The key issue here is the personification of gender to human behaviour.

Again I answered some that in the last question. It depends on who as a social group(s) and/or individual(s) (both others and one self) personifies a specific behaviour(s) by binary gender, plus what specific behaviour(s) that is being personified via gender. Also how other social group(s) and/or individual(s) interpreter that gender personification of the specific behaviour(s).


Who has the right to define what a "real man" should be now? The same can be said about defining a "real woman". Again this is subjective based on a hell of lot of variables, you ask that one question one will get a lot of different answers now!

Please, do not make a drama everytime about every gender roles related subject. We can oppose those "absurd dichotomous caricatures based on genitalia" but that doesn't mean they don't exist. I am just asking why there's a such thing in fact and why there's a such difference.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 24 Jun 2011, 7:06 am, edited 1 time in total.

no.... not at all. what a strange assertion.

Studies show that women are more likely to live in poverty, but men ,especially single men, are more likely to be homeless than women, especially single women (single men are about three times more likely to be homeless than single women). In total, about 70 % of homeless people are men but they constitute a small percentage of the poor population.

Sure, there's the phrase "be a man" - but on the flip side, have you ever heard "you're acting like such a girl!" or "you run like a girl..." or the tut and eye-roll with the exclamation "women!". It works both ways.

Both genders have unfair standards imposed upon them.

This makes a lot of sense.






I was thinking about the same thing, manhood in history had to be constantly proven throughout life. Most rites of passage around the world are usually for boys to men.

That reminds me of a rite of passage in nomadic Sub-Saharan groups, these groups live on trading between tribes or with nearby cities, their men have to travel long distances in desert on camels and oxen and they may encounter bandits on the way. The boy joins the 'convoy' once he comes to a certain age, during the journey, the men will let the boy to walk ahead to the point that he'll be left alone with the caravan.

At a certain point, "bandits" (who are men of his tribe acting as bandits) would "attack" the caravan, the boy would realize that he's the only one left to defend the caravan, if he shows courage and draws his weapon then he succeeds the rite, if he gets panicked or flees then he would fail it, he wouldn't be regarded as a man , he wouldn't be allowed to be part of the convoy and he wouldn't be allowed to get married anymore, there's no second chance for this rite.

We may not have phrases that tell women how to behave but we have had a century of enforced behavior regulation in America and globally, multiple millennial. I suppose as far as phrases go it depends on the man. "A woman's place is in the kitchen." "Barefoot and pregnant." "Women should be seen and not heard." Off the top of my head. Sorry I can't think of any positive ones right now.

To be a woman about it, I suppose would mean much the same as Be a Man. Stop complaining, and do what you're supposed to do, deal with it and shut up. I have heard other women tell each other to act Grown or act their age. Implying they are being immature in dealing with whatever the current issue is.

Drawing from personal experience: I once told my ex to Man up and feel fully justified in pointing out his lack of manliness to this day. Just after we'd had a baby my ex lost his job for telling his boss to F**k off. He was out of work for 8 weeks and my two paper routes where not covering the bills.... Not a lot of jobs let you take a newborn to work or breast feed every 3 hours. I borrowed money from my Mother and payed our pathetically low $80 a week rent and got some food. When I got home he verbally attacked me and told me I was a Malicious C**t, after a hour of screaming he finally informed me this was because he couldn't buy pot this week (a $140 a week habit for him up till then).

I lost it and at the end of my tirade told him to Man Up or Move Out! He found a job by the next friday where the last 8 weeks had been spent in front of his PS2... Not watching his new born daughter so I could go to work, not helping clean while I was still healing, not cooking for himself so I could sleep, just selfishly playing video games and going out with friends while constantly indulging in his costly habit and leaving me to deal with all the "hard" stuff alone. So yes, I think when a man puts his selfish personal wants before the basic necessities of life for his family, a woman has every right to tell him to Man Up, and vice-versa... if there can be an appropriate phrase coined.


.... Yikes I'm sorry I seem to have gotten Bitter all over your monitor, my apologies : )

That sounded awful! My daughter is married to a man like that, who puts himself above her and her unborn child. I am GLAD that you handled it the way that you did!

: ) thank you, it has to be said he isn't a bad man in general terms, he's just a kid who never grew up, depression also played a part it seems. He's much better now but We were no good for each other. I'm happy to say he's a great father now, even with his bad habits much muted... perhaps because he understands what he was giving up.

To bolster your hope; most women grow very quickly after they have a child to raise, someone dependent on them just to keep living. It may take some time but she will either walk a way or he will see what he is doing and change. One of the best thing about children is how they make us different they we were : )

When I say "Don't be like a girl" to a man it'd mean: Don't be completely useless (depends), quit freaking out over nothing!, shut the f**k up (if they are talking too much). It means different things on different occasions but I try not to say it too much, it's not cool to be called a girl.