28 Jun 2011, 4:49 pm
Postures
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28 Jun 2011, 6:16 pm
nick007 wrote:
Women never see me as anything more than a great friend. They tell me I'm a great guy & how they wish other guys were more like me but they won't give me a chance & when I quit making myself emotionally available to em; they get really upset & b!thcy with me. I've thought about trying to act like the guys they are attracted to but that is NOT who I am; I feel like I would be pretending to be something I'm not & I also feel like it would be kind of mean. I'm a very sensitive, caring guy & I'd love to find a girl who would appreciate that instead of using me. What's the point in having a girl if I cant be sweet towards her 
What's the point in being their "friend" if all you want to do, is get off with them?
nick007
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Joined: 4 May 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,593
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in capitalistic police state called USA
28 Jun 2011, 6:18 pm
Postures wrote:
nick007 wrote:
Women never see me as anything more than a great friend. They tell me I'm a great guy & how they wish other guys were more like me but they won't give me a chance & when I quit making myself emotionally available to em; they get really upset & b!thcy with me. I've thought about trying to act like the guys they are attracted to but that is NOT who I am; I feel like I would be pretending to be something I'm not & I also feel like it would be kind of mean. I'm a very sensitive, caring guy & I'd love to find a girl who would appreciate that instead of using me. What's the point in having a girl if I cant be sweet towards her
What's the point in being their "friend" if all you want to do, is get off with them?
I'm not really interested in getting off; I'm a borderline asexual. I want friendship, emotional intimacy, affection ect
Postures
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Joined: 10 Mar 2010
Age: 34
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Location: Polska Rzeczpospolita Ludowa
28 Jun 2011, 6:24 pm
nick007 wrote:
Postures wrote:
nick007 wrote:
Women never see me as anything more than a great friend. They tell me I'm a great guy & how they wish other guys were more like me but they won't give me a chance & when I quit making myself emotionally available to em; they get really upset & b!thcy with me. I've thought about trying to act like the guys they are attracted to but that is NOT who I am; I feel like I would be pretending to be something I'm not & I also feel like it would be kind of mean. I'm a very sensitive, caring guy & I'd love to find a girl who would appreciate that instead of using me. What's the point in having a girl if I cant be sweet towards her
What's the point in being their "friend" if all you want to do, is get off with them?
I'm not really interested in getting off; I'm a borderline asexual. I want friendship, emotional intimacy, affection ect
Okay but the point still stands. You are saying that you're a caring and a sensitive friend to them but you have an ulterior motive, you're expecting them to see what a wonderful guy you are and fall in love with you on the spot. Why not just be their friend, without expecting anything "romantic" to follow? They aren't using you, they're just treating you as a friend as that is what you are to them, most probably.
28 Jun 2011, 6:43 pm
*cough* hijack *cough* 
28 Jun 2011, 6:44 pm
Lene wrote:
*cough* hijack *cough*
How is this a hijack? Postures and nick007 are just discussing a part of the friendzone.
28 Jun 2011, 6:49 pm
Erisad wrote:
Lene wrote:
*cough* hijack *cough*
How is this a hijack? Postures and nick007 are just discussing a part of the friendzone.
True, I apologise. But where does the fat lady come into things?
[edit]- nevermind, 'tis not not important
28 Jun 2011, 6:52 pm
Lene wrote:
Erisad wrote:
Lene wrote:
*cough* hijack *cough*
How is this a hijack? Postures and nick007 are just discussing a part of the friendzone.
True, I apologise. But where does the fat lady come into things?
[edit]- nevermind, 'tis not not important
Yeah. Tequila countered with that to my claims to how a girl's low self esteem can result in a guy becoming friendzoned unintentionally. For me, mine comes from my weight. So I don't knooooow.
nick007
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Joined: 4 May 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,593
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in capitalistic police state called USA
28 Jun 2011, 7:02 pm
Postures wrote:
nick007 wrote:
Postures wrote:
nick007 wrote:
Women never see me as anything more than a great friend. They tell me I'm a great guy & how they wish other guys were more like me but they won't give me a chance & when I quit making myself emotionally available to em; they get really upset & b!thcy with me. I've thought about trying to act like the guys they are attracted to but that is NOT who I am; I feel like I would be pretending to be something I'm not & I also feel like it would be kind of mean. I'm a very sensitive, caring guy & I'd love to find a girl who would appreciate that instead of using me. What's the point in having a girl if I cant be sweet towards her
What's the point in being their "friend" if all you want to do, is get off with them?
I'm not really interested in getting off; I'm a borderline asexual. I want friendship, emotional intimacy, affection ect
Okay but the point still stands. You are saying that you're a caring and a sensitive friend to them but you have an ulterior motive, you're expecting them to see what a wonderful guy you are and fall in love with you on the spot. Why not just be their friend, without expecting anything "romantic" to follow? They aren't using you, they're just treating you as a friend as that is what you are to them, most probably.
I am their friend for the sake of being their friend in the begging. I start to like em after a while thou especially when they come to me for support because they keep dating losers & getting hurt. I feel like those friendships are kind of one sided after a while because I am there for them because I genuinely care about em even if we will never have a relationship but they are not there for me when I am having a problem or could use advice
28 Jun 2011, 7:31 pm
Erisad wrote:
Yeah. Tequila countered with that to my claims to how a girl's low self esteem can result in a guy becoming friendzoned unintentionally. For me, mine comes from my weight. So I don't knooooow.
My point was this: the woman in the photo is probably three times your weight and she has or had quite a lot of friends. So if you really want friends, thinking that you're fat is not the reason to absolve yourself of responsibility.
You never provided jerk-off material to me when I asked, so obviously your self-esteem is not that low.
Keep your chin up and think a little about how you might change your behaviour, OK?
28 Jun 2011, 7:55 pm
Tequila wrote:
Erisad wrote:
Yeah. Tequila countered with that to my claims to how a girl's low self esteem can result in a guy becoming friendzoned unintentionally. For me, mine comes from my weight. So I don't knooooow.
My point was this: the woman in the photo is probably three times your weight and she has or had quite a lot of friends. So if you really want friends, thinking that you're fat is not the reason to absolve yourself of responsibility.
You never provided jerk-off material to me when I asked, so obviously your self-esteem is not that low.
Keep your chin up and think a little about how you might change your behaviour, OK?
Self image and self esteem are all in the subconscious.
As one thinks of themselves....so will you eventually become.
The woman you posted may be disgustingly obese to some,but in her mind she has convinced herself that she is attractive.Just the same a girl could be astonishingly beautiful and fit,but if she's been told she's worthless her whole life she's bound to have serious self esteem issues.
I've been using meditation and a possitive affirmation tape to increase my feelings of self worth.Seem to be making some progress
28 Jun 2011, 8:09 pm
nick007
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Joined: 4 May 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,593
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in capitalistic police state called USA
28 Jun 2011, 8:12 pm
gtw1983 wrote:
The woman you posted may be disgustingly obese to some,but in her mind she has convinced herself that she is attractive.
Can be considered being delusional
28 Jun 2011, 8:17 pm
nick007 wrote:
gtw1983 wrote:
The woman you posted may be disgustingly obese to some,but in her mind she has convinced herself that she is attractive.
Can be considered being delusional
Why would she be delusional?Are only stick thin women allowed to feel that they are beautiful without being considered mentally ill? :/
nick007
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Joined: 4 May 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,593
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in capitalistic police state called USA
28 Jun 2011, 8:22 pm
Erisad wrote:
nick007 wrote:
gtw1983 wrote:
The woman you posted may be disgustingly obese to some,but in her mind she has convinced herself that she is attractive.
Can be considered being delusional
Why would she be delusional?Are only stick thin women allowed to feel that they are beautiful without being considered mentally ill? :/
Of coarse not but if she believes everyone finds her attractive it could be
28 Jun 2011, 8:24 pm
nick007 wrote:
Erisad wrote:
nick007 wrote:
gtw1983 wrote:
The woman you posted may be disgustingly obese to some,but in her mind she has convinced herself that she is attractive.
Can be considered being delusional
Why would she be delusional?Are only stick thin women allowed to feel that they are beautiful without being considered mentally ill? :/
Of coarse not but if she believes everyone finds her attractive it could be
Well...yeah. But if she can find herself attractive regardless of what others think, that's very high self esteem that only few people are able to maintain.
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