ToadOfSteel wrote:
...to make rejections less painful?
I just want to be able to ask a girl out, apply for a job, hell, even being able to join a group would be nice. But the looming threat of rejection is always poised to strike when i am at my weakest: alone.
Some suggest that you just ignore it or not care about it, which to them works as some sort of plot armor, but to me it just doesn't make any sense, as in order to put myself out there, I have to care about it. I'm not going to ask out a girl I don't even know... most of the time im not even attracted at that point. It's only after getting to know a girl that I start thinking about it, feeling attractions, and all that, and it's only then that I could even contemplate asking a girl out. And needless to say, "not caring" when asking a girl out in that situation is only doing both of us a disservice.
You might not like my response but here it goes:
I had similar trouble with the whole rejection thing which made me seem shy,insecure etc which lead to more rejection every time I asked someone(I was awkward, I had issues... I dont blame them).
One day for whatever reason(I think she needed some help in a couple of subjects or something)one of my female class mates noticed that I was trying to work on that and she made a point on helping me.
-At the start her help consisted in just asking people until I realized that it wasnt a personal thing and that I should just move on instead of giving them a chance to laugh at me even further.
-Then she made a point on trying to find clothing that made me seem approachable which btw ended up being what most people my age were wearing. Nobody is asking you to become part of the cast of the jersey shore but a couple of trademark shirts from whatever is in there(around here its usually surf/snow/skate related tms but over there it might be soemthing completely different) probably wont hurt you.
- Then she asked me to pay attention to ho the characters on a sitcon/book acted when they were asking someone and try to imitate them.
It might seem like a lot of bs but it worked for me while I was able to keep it up(its quite tiringand it didnt attract the kind of people I usually like being around)
