Board index › Coping in life › Love and Dating

How to turn someone down: aspie style

Page 2 of 3 [ 36 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3  Next

Previous topic | Next topic

mcg
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Jan 2010
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 538
Location: Sacramento

26 Jul 2011, 11:46 pm

Tell him you're gay.



chrissyrun
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Oct 2010
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 13,788
Location: Hell :)

26 Jul 2011, 11:49 pm

JohnOldman wrote:
I don't think being harsh would make him act stalkerish. If he is a good guy then he probably needs the shock of a flat-out rejection to bring him back to his senses.

A restraining order would be necessary only if he makes threats... for example, that he will come and find you.


Ok. But how do you tell a threat from light-hearted teasing?


_________________
Go die in a ditch if you're a b*tch, if you're a jerk, go to work, if you're just mean, flee the scene, and if you're rude, go ahead and intrude because you're probably just like me.


chrissyrun
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Oct 2010
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 13,788
Location: Hell :)

26 Jul 2011, 11:50 pm

mcg wrote:
Tell him you're gay.


That's a lie, and he know's I'm Mormon, so he'd know it's contradictory.


_________________
Go die in a ditch if you're a b*tch, if you're a jerk, go to work, if you're just mean, flee the scene, and if you're rude, go ahead and intrude because you're probably just like me.


JohnOldman
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 30 Mar 2011
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 448
Location: Midwest USA (Switzerland is Where the Heart Is)

26 Jul 2011, 11:56 pm

If you use a consistently serious tone, then you have the right to interpret what he says as serious.

In any case, you can threaten a restraining order if you are in doubt. That would force him to be serious and state his true intentions.



chrissyrun
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Oct 2010
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 13,788
Location: Hell :)

27 Jul 2011, 12:00 am

JohnOldman wrote:
If you use a consistently serious tone, then you have the right to interpret what he says as serious.

In any case, you can threaten a restraining order if you are in doubt. That would force him to be serious and state his true intentions.


Well it's fb, so he sees my wall posts, and I am light-hearted most of the time on there.

Maybe, that is a good idea, ok, thanks.


_________________
Go die in a ditch if you're a b*tch, if you're a jerk, go to work, if you're just mean, flee the scene, and if you're rude, go ahead and intrude because you're probably just like me.


mcg
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Jan 2010
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 538
Location: Sacramento

27 Jul 2011, 12:25 am

chrissyrun wrote:
mcg wrote:
Tell him you're gay.


That's a lie, and he know's I'm Mormon, so he'd know it's contradictory.
Hmm, well you have got to either lie or tell the truth. But perhaps someone else can think of a better lie if you choose to go that route.



pree10shun
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 May 2011
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,659
Location: Everywhere

27 Jul 2011, 2:31 am

Tell him you have Dissociative identity disorder and one of your alter ego is a serial killer.



Chronos
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Apr 2010
Age: 45
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,698

27 Jul 2011, 3:04 am

I'm not really clear if you are actually not interested in this guy or you just don't think your parents would approve.

To be honest, the age difference between an 18 year old female and 23 year old male really isn't that great, because most guys aren't much different at 23 than they were at 18, except that they *might* be a little more responsible.

Anyway, concerning this guy, you should just tell him you aren't interested in a relationship. He might respect that.

For the future, don't give facebook friend or give your address to people you haven't met in person and have had a fair amount of interaction with.

If you do come across someone who keeps pressuring you to meet them or have some sort of relationship with them, remember this: If you do not deal with people who disrespect your boundaries firmly then you will constantly be taken advantage of in that sense because you allow yourself to be.

You need to stand your ground and not allow people to put you into situations in which you feel uncomfortable or vulnerable.

You can do this in a civil manner but if they persist then you may use a rude tone.



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,091
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

27 Jul 2011, 3:32 am

Quote:
How to turn someone down: aspie style



Is that some Wing Tsun technique?



Ilka
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 May 2011
Age: 52
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,365
Location: Panama City, Republic of Panama

27 Jul 2011, 8:09 am

Men can be very pushy. Some just do not get no for an answer. I think it is because they know then can change our mind. I think you should tell him that you do not feel comfortable going out with a person you met on-line, that you would like to cintinue your friendship, and that you will sppreciate that he respects your opinion. If he keeps insisting he will be disrespecting you, and in that case you should not cobtinue communicating with him because that will indicate he is not a good person.



sagan
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 Jan 2011
Age: 112
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,788
Location: Land of the Lost

27 Jul 2011, 1:04 pm

Dont walk away, RUN away. =(

Did this to a boy I really liked, needless to say he does not like me back anymore. Hehe


_________________
The stars look very different today.


rasol
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 23 Mar 2011
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 49

27 Jul 2011, 4:26 pm

Tell him that you wish you felt the same way but you just don't.

I had to reject some women in my past too because some of them I just did not find physically appealing and the others because their personality looked crappy to me.



Last edited by rasol on 27 Jul 2011, 8:54 pm, edited 2 times in total.

anna-banana
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Aug 2008
Age: 41
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,682
Location: Europe

27 Jul 2011, 4:34 pm

*deleted, drunken rambling


_________________
not a bug - a feature.


Tequila
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 25 Feb 2006
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 28,897
Location: Lancashire, UK

28 Jul 2011, 4:04 pm

Chronos wrote:
Anyway, concerning this guy, you should just tell him you aren't interested in a relationship. He might respect that.


And then cut him out of your life.



Tequila
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 25 Feb 2006
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 28,897
Location: Lancashire, UK

28 Jul 2011, 4:05 pm

Ilka wrote:
Men can be very pushy. Some just do not get no for an answer. I think it is because they know then can change our mind. I think you should tell him that you do not feel comfortable going out with a person you met on-line, that you would like to cintinue your friendship, and that you will sppreciate that he respects your opinion. If he keeps insisting he will be disrespecting you, and in that case you should not cobtinue communicating with him because that will indicate he is not a good person.


If he asks over and over again and does not respect a straight 'no', this is a good time to cut off contact with these people.



AngelKnight
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 May 2011
Age: 48
Gender: Male
Posts: 749
Location: This is not my home; I'm just passing through

28 Jul 2011, 5:08 pm

chrissyrun wrote:
Because I'm friends with him on FB, if I just stopped being friends with him, he'd send me a ton of friend requests. And who knows if he'd find other ways to contact me.


If you think he'd really be that persistent as to send a friend request again after you remove him from your friends list, he's probably not taking the hint and you may wish to consider saying forthrightly that you don't feel it's appropriate that he insists on meeting.

Incidentally, I'm pretty sure that if you remove him from your friends list, and he friends you again, you won't see further requests from him if you don't accept.