How do guys approach women in America?

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Bonk her on the head and shove her in a leather bag?

no, bonk her on the head then drag her by her hair.

Welcome back to America, BTW.

I would pay to make it go away! Constantly being hit on just makes my anxiety worse. Especially when I think I'm just having a pleasant conversation with someone and I realize at the end they didn't listen to a word I said.

Lol. At least you know for sure though, and get an ego boost to boot. When girls pay attention to me I can never tell if I'm actually being interesting or if they are just suffering through to see if I'll invite them to dinner... and then when they stop I have to wonder if I said something, or if they just decided I wasn't going to ask them out and therefore am not worth the time.

Invisible disability+Invisible creepers=fail

Well, guys in a big city are going to be more likely to hit on complete strangers than in a quiet suburban townplace where everyone knows everyone and gossip spreads. More chaos=more random guys hitting on you. Guys here are expected to make something out of nothing just for the sake of proving their worth as a man. You can't just start talking to someone out of context and expect the conversation to go anywhere, but it beats being labeled as a loser. And then we wonder why women complain about being objectified...

There are so many different approaches I'm not sure you can ascribe one 'approach' to all guys. If you're in a bar, they might buy you a drink. If you're in a club dancing, they might ask you to dance or move up to you on the dance floor. I've also seen guys just say things out of the blue like "I just felt a connection...did you feel it, just now?"

For my part, I don't approach women I might be interested in out of the blue unless they're making distinctive, obvious eye contact with me. And even then, 75% of the time I go into shutdown mode. Then 20% of the time when I don't shut down, I try to think of something to say but by the time I do, it seems the moment is lost. The remaining 5% usually involves something really obvious to talk about. So as you can mathematically see, the odds aren't great for me yet.

And sometimes, I might not be interested or making an advance, but strike up a conversation if the situation presents itself -- just as practice. I know that sounds sort of cavalier or mercenary. But as someone with AS, I feel I need to practice this skill as much as possible in order to just be passable, haha.

That's the dumbest pick-up line ever! I'd just be like: "no? Define connection, please?"




I would be super shy like you, if I were a man.

Occasionally, but not always.

Some will express their intentions right from the start. Others will simply introduce themselves, and offer to share a meal or drinks in a public setting. Most practice something of a mixture in between.

Not usually, unless it is in a social setting like a party or a reception. Women may be expected to be more subtle about expressing their desires, leading the man on until he gets the hint and makes his desires known

Yes, that is what people would think. It works better when a woman is with a group and invites the man to join them. This way, she can get a consensus from the others as to his apparent quality as a potential lover, while simultaneously enjoying the protective company of her friends..

Likely more to do with Christian inhibitions on relations between the sexes than with any custom or cultural behavior.

Thank you for the detailed answer.

Yes, unfortunately a lot of Christian kids are taught that dating, period, is not a good idea. I think dating on its own is quite harmless and healthy.

I've never been "hit on" in any context- I'd imagine most women haven't, unless they're exceptionally-attractive (read: thin and made-up) and even then in many environments like school or work it seems to be quite rare. It would seem most men simply don't wander up to perfect strangers, knowing no more about them than what they look like, either because they find it crude, or because they're simply too shy to.

That's quite a lot of men, then...

You come across as spouting a very socially conservative line on this, when it's obvious even from this thread that lots of women get randomly hit on. TeaEarlGreyHot in particular.

(Tequila titters up his sleeve at the similarities between some strands of feminism and the more backward strains of social conservatism)

Huh?

"Creepy people will hit on anything that will give them ass..."

Probably quite a lot of people.