Aspie boys, answer this question

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I'm not sure how I would react, because girls have never actually been interested in me before. I've always done the pursuing, which I hate, because I'm painfully shy, awkward, and I ALWAYS get rejected. However, since this is hypothetical.... Okay, there are many factors that would go into this, but I don't think they're relevant to this topic. Not to mention, they would take forever to write. Anyway, I first, I would be utterly confused as to why she was interested in me, because it wouldn't have happened before. I'm very misanthropic and mistrustful of people, I would initially react with cold hostillity or disinterest. Before, I've been too trusting and girls have played with my mind. HOWEVER; if she did keep coming back, then I would at least know she had some sort of feeling invested in me and would, slowly, warm up to her. I would at least give her a chance to prove her sincerity to me because I know how much it sucks to be rejected many times in a row. In fact, I would be flattered that a girl actually bothered to take an interest in boring, weird, loser-nerd me. Oddly enough, this was my scenario for two years, only I was the one being rejected. Eventually, she threatened to arrest me even though I had been so nice to her all that time; perhaps too nice. Well, it worked. I stopped, not only because I feared prison (which would have been tragic irony, because I'm a actually a goody-little-two-shoes) because I knew then in that moment, that she was no longer worth it. I realized how little my life meant to her, even though she meant the world to me. Now I have no world. I am literally on, the wrong planet.

I don't think I would turn down any woman unless she was deformed, obese, over 45, or under 18.

Depends on the situation entirely.

Back in the day, if it was an online crush i'd just be amused. I can feel many things online--being stalked isn't one of them.

In real life, depends on how serious it was. Come by to my house unannounced once or twice and i'll warn you not to come over again or i'll call the cops. Come over after said warnings and I REALLY will call them.

I'd never be malicious about anything, I have a high tolerance level. I'd almost always offer to be friends at least.

Anyway never have I really been stalked by a girl.. well.. except for someone asking for my number for work related reasons and then kept texting me asking what I was doing and how bored she was at band practice. Ignore her and the texts would start stockpiling, was it flattering at first? Yes. Was it eventually creepy from a girl who claimed that just because she was nice didn't mean she liked someone? Yep, also she was 17 I was 22--and she knew I had a girlfriend.

I wish you'd find another way. That is very rough on the recipient.

~Kate

I would think it's kinda cute & probably start to like her after a while

This. It's also very unreasonable not to give an explantion for breaking off the friendship.

To be dead honest since no one wants to even talk to me I would be flattered. If there were sexual advances and they were overt enough for even I to catch but my member just couldn't stand up I would buy her a vibrator and even offer to give her an assist with it no matter what she looked like (just because my thing didn't respond doesn't mean I can't do something). If she isn't creeped out by that point I would be quite impressed.

Thats probably not something to really do. If a women did take notice of you and she was way wrong for you and you only went after her cause thats the only attention you could get? It can go bad pretty damn fast.

When I was very young I would get paralyzed and very quiet if any unwelcome (or welcome) interest was expressed toward me. Later I would ignore it and simply stay on script for whatever i was talking about. Both were pretty rude and eventually led to the girl getting angry with me. At some point I learned to address it by being flattered and claiming to be interested in someone else. Ive never directly told a woman I wasn't interested. I just remove the possibility of success for them if I'm not.

If he's in the first category it can be hard to tell the difference between interest and disinterest. Assuming that's what you are trying to determine.

Last edited by simon_says on 09 Aug 2011, 4:52 am, edited 1 time in total.

aye, sounds reasonable. if he was interested he'd be contacting you. when the interests 1 sided you just need to learn to let it go i guess.

As bad as being alone all my life?

Oh, then just let her down easy. I'd also tell them we couldn't hang together anymore if the situation was something like I was seeing someone, because that'd be disrespectful.

But yeah curious to know what the exact situation is now.

It's a lot easier to make things work with a woman who likes you than the other women who will not give you a chance

My first reaction would be curiosity... what does she see in me? (Not that I'm down on myself, it's just that figuring out what I represent to her would be interesting). Then, hopefully, I would find a way to deliver a rejection that she would perceive as certain, but that would nonetheless minimize the damage to her self-esteem.

That's assuming that I didn't learn to take a romantic interest in her in the process. I'm actually highly sympathetic towards unrequited love. Unlike many people, I see a difference between having it bad for someone who's uninterested, and being a delusional predator.

To the OP:

I would wonder why? I don't think I've intentionally made myself noticeable enough to attract that sort of attention. I think I've had this happen once. All I did was just ask a question about what work needed to be done for my History class since I couldn't attend class that day, and she continued to walk along with me as if I was trying to ask her to be my girlfriend or something. She wasn't ugly or anything like that, but I wasn't interested in her. I had to make a break for the nearest bathroom, because I couldn't keep a conversation going after my question was answered. Or maybe she was trying to be friendly. I do have trouble reading body language, especially of the the opposite sex....

I found myself in a situation like this once as a teenager. A girl liked me, and I was indifferent. She was very forward and aggressive about it, and I accidentally started dating her. Or, she dated me, I guess...either way, I was just kinda there and she pursued. So, indifferent to it, I just kinda went with the flow, until she started _really_ wanting to get physical, and I just stopped meeting up with her. She was sad, and then angry for a while, but got over it.

Oddly enough, I still see her from time to time these days, she ended up hooking up with one of my friends, and they're all happily married now. So, all is well.