I absolutely suck at first dates. Any advice?

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Thanks for the compassion.

No problem. I used to think I could never be attractive to women, and then I actually started to care about how I look and cleaned up a lot. I still have self esteem issues, but it's helped my confidence quite a bit.

Guess the Aspy stereotype of not being able to understand sarcasm is true...

There is absolutely NOTHING I could do to make myself attractive to women. American women, at least, are way too picky and stuck-up.

What do you look like? Your constant ultra-depressive attitude may have a lot to do with this.

OT, but it reminds me of the time I spoke to a guy on another forum who couldn't understand why no woman was attracted to him. He asked if I could go on webcam with him (this was a few years ago now). The moment I saw his face and his surroundings on webcam I understood immediately. He looked in a disgusting state and his room was a total tip and he looked like he hadn't had a bath in three weeks.

Is everything OK to do with personal hygiene and looking after yourself? That's a start.

I knew it was sarcasm bro I was being sarcastic too. But dude, stop being so down on yourself. American women like confidence from what I can tell, so even if you don't have confidence it might be in your best interest to feign it.

SERIOUSLY? It's seriously only your appearance and not your sh***y, sh***y attitude that makes you unattractive to women?

If expecting a bit of cosmic humility and basic respect is picky and stuck-up, then color me both of those.

Indeed. Even abusive men make the effort to at least start to treat women well until the mask slips and the full nastiness of what is underneath is revealed.

The guy needs to start treating women with a bit of respect. I'd be put off by his attitude and I'm a fella!

Even if he really is a hardcore uggo, I'm sure being a depressing self-pity filled dude with a sh***y outlook on everything doesn't help with the ladies.

I only developed a sh***y, sh***y attitude after being treated like s**t, so FAIL.

Never date.

Or if you do, drink a tad before, takes the edge off. Although alcoholic here so maybe I am 90% wrong.

I have a few big issues with first dates:
What to talk about..... I have no problem talking in general and asking questions. But one thing I tend to do is purposely not go into topics I don't want to talk about. Things like sports, or travel, or outdoorsy things. I simply have no interest in this stuff and its incredibly awkward to talk about it since its always in a negative way. Its a mix of being honest with things and having limited interests. You dont have a lot to talk about positively, and the things most others enjoy which I don't, I only know how to state my opinion of it...TOO honestly.

A great example... if the topic comes up about online dating (where we met) they tend to ask how long I've been on it. What am I supposed to answer? The truth.... over 3 years? Girls really don't want to know in 3 years you can't find someone. Or lie and make something up on the spot (not easy)?

And most girls don't understand the disinterest with being social. I don't have many friends around to do things with these days and when I do go out for something its not with more than 1 or 2 people. I HATE parties, and I don't drink at all. Girls hear this and they tend to run away screaming. How do you get around this sort of thing? Other than play the numbers game till you find someone similar.

The other big issue I have is how do you tell their interest? Most never do anything obvious enough to pick up on. So I go the whole night wondering if they're interested, if they'd like if I held their hand. if they'd like a kiss, etc. Basically, unless they more or less made some sort of 1st move, I'm way too shy to. And since I would never try to push anyone to do anything too quick, I have no reason to try and force it, I'd rather wait it out. But I wonder how many times I've screwed it up because I was too shy, and they took that as though I wasn't interested in them.

I've been wondering if I should mention something along the lines of being shy and AS/SA before we meet so they know how I might come off, but that seems like a red flag to most girls.

Oh come on, you've had some success

I've only been on a few dates, and one went so badly I was seriously looking at my behaviour on it for years to come.
Hopefully I may have learned a little from that rejection.

I was being a little facetious, but I really am bad at first dates - I seem to be an acquired taste...

This.
Ive also had my problems with drinking so let me add that if you are thinking about it do it with moderation(easier than it sounds, I know but I have to say it) because from my experience unless she is also drunk she's going to run as fast as she can.

I have a one-drink rule (for me) for dates.

I have a 2+ drink for life rule. Don't date, but I feel it would be less awkward to be awkwardly drunk, than awkwardly sober. So probably 3+ drink rule for dates.