I would date you if I were single....

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ToadOfSteel
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13 Aug 2011, 5:23 pm

Grisha wrote:

Even I, the most pessimistic/paranoid person I know on this subject, can't figure out anything sinister in those statements, not even a white lie to protect your feelings.

I think we may have to consider the possibility that they actually were sincere...

What they say: "I think you'd make a great husband/boyfriend/whatever someday"

What they don't say: "...just not to me"

The_Face_of_Boo
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13 Aug 2011, 5:53 pm

Grisha wrote:

No one said they're sinister or lies, but there's falsehood about them.

They're just can't be totally true.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 14 Aug 2011, 7:14 am, edited 1 time in total.

Homer_Bob
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13 Aug 2011, 6:06 pm

That's the way it always seems to be. The people who think highly of you are ones who are either already taken or out of your age range. It's happened to me often.

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MXH
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13 Aug 2011, 6:11 pm

Grisha wrote:

ahh yes, then that same girl ends up single and blows you off for some dickface. Good thing she woulda dated you if she was single no? :roll:

URtheALIEN
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13 Aug 2011, 7:12 pm

I agree and I think it's a key difference between me (I'm not going to speak for anyone else) and the average NT. Don't sugar coat it, don't blow smoke up my rear, tell me how it is so I don't misunderstand and/or get my hopes up. I have enough issues figuring out how I feel without having to figure out what you ment. I assume that you mean what you say...or you'd have used different words.

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chrissyrun
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13 Aug 2011, 7:36 pm

I've heard this for school dances when I was in high school, "we'll I'd ask you if I wasn't already going with somebody" or "sorry, I'm going with so and so" or etc....and it bugged the crap out of me because if they were really a friend, they could have told some of heir friends that I hadn't been asked out...but of course they didn't.....they just say it to be nice.Anyways, those things were planned out months maybe years in advance, Luckily I eventually got to ask a guy to one of them after having an anxiety attack about it. And the way I knew that nobody had asked him: one of my friends told me. QML.

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hale_bopp
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13 Aug 2011, 7:56 pm

People just churn out that BS to make the person feel better. They don't actually mean it. They only do it when they have someone because they know its BS and they need a scapegoat.

Grisha
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13 Aug 2011, 7:59 pm

Jeebus.

I can't believe I'm the guy trying to be the "ray of sunshine" for a change. :wink:

You'd think I'd found a girlfriend or something... :roll:

hale_bopp
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13 Aug 2011, 8:13 pm

Grisha wrote:

Jeebus.

I can't believe I'm the guy trying to be the "ray of sunshine" for a change. :wink:

You'd think I'd found a girlfriend or something... :roll:

If they are sincere, they probably do think you'd make a great husband.. for someone else.
Otherwise I stand by my view.

URtheALIEN
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13 Aug 2011, 9:30 pm

I just don't get the logic. If you do care at all about someone why mislead them? Example, American Idol. The early in the season people that sing so awfully that you just know people have lied to for years telling them "No you're great, honest". I'm a crap dancer and I know it, so don't tell me that this flailing around that I do looks good. Isn't it better to be honest? People, even NTs, say it is... then don't do it anyway.

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pree10shun
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13 Aug 2011, 11:16 pm

hale_bopp wrote:

If they are sincere, they probably do think you'd make a great husband.. for someone else.
Otherwise I stand by my view.

That could be it.. they prolly like the person they say that to but they don't think they see the relation going anywhere serious i.e., can't make a good parent or something of that sort. but why can't they say that openly instead of beating around the bush or sugarcoating it. that'd avoid a lot of time waste or high hopes like URtheALIEN said.

KWifler
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13 Aug 2011, 11:44 pm

I get that kind of compliment all the time from older women outside of my age range. 20-30 years older.
I think it has to do with every woman I talk to assuming that I am hitting on her.
Women who are my age just reflexively either tell me they have a boyfriend or try to flirt, and we all know where that leads.
Nowhere.

Also there comes a dead-end when I robotically reply that I have no life yet and so wouldn't feel right dating her. Which I have since stopped saying, finally.

LostUndergrad9090
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13 Aug 2011, 11:47 pm

Once but I dont know whether or not to believe the person. I always felt like she was up to no good really awesome smart girl nonetheless.

hale_bopp
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14 Aug 2011, 2:00 am

They do it because they think they're being nice. They don't know that people don't like it.

izzeme
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14 Aug 2011, 4:52 am

oh, the times i heared this... complementing aplenty, but going up on them themselves? nah, you're too good for me, let someone else have the honour... :S

really, NT women...

The_Face_of_Boo
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14 Aug 2011, 7:43 am

URtheALIEN wrote:

Yes, those candidates with awful voices usually thought that they were good and had high confidence, they were made delusional by their parents/friends/relatives, but when the truth is told they get shocked for life. It happens to the local version of American idol too, so this phenomena is universal. I always felt sorry for them because it's dramatically embarrassing and devastating to the core.

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