Do you miss someone right now?

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I'm going to answer this question with a hell yes, but the person has obviously moved onto bigger and better things, and i'm just going to have to deal with it.

I miss my friend, B. We're both married, so I don't want to get too specific. We started seeing each other while his wife was out of town. He went out of town to try to reconcile with his wife. Anyway, I feel like he is my soul mate, but I don't know how to tell him about it or even act around him. I feel like I should tell him something about how I feel. All our dates ended really awkwardly because I didn't really know how to say goodbye appropriately. I just got in my car and drove away. I miss him so much and I want to start seeing him again when he comes back to town (with or without wife).

I don't believe that for one moment.

Any reason?

Erm, well...

You sound really nice, so I doubt if they've moved on to anything better. "Made a big mistake" sounds much more likely

What?

It sounded as though you were putting yourself down by saying they've "moved onto bigger and better things".

You also seem upset that your feelings are being ignored and their affection has been withdrawn.

Your posts are always really thoughtful and from the little I know, I think you're great. I'm not sure they'll find anyone or anything 'better'. If someone is ignoring you in pursuit of other things, they are the ones missing out. I think they've made a mistake which they'll end up regretting.

I'm sorry if this sounds patronizing or overly-familiar - I don't find it easy to phrase compliments. I just wanted to say that you seem nice and I don't understand why anyone would upset you like that. But yeah, I don't really know much about it, so maybe I'm making too many assumptions and should mind my own business! Sorry..

That was a very nice thing that you said hermit. There are a few bitter jerks running around the board that like to think of her as a big pink bullseye.

No, you actually made me feel better.



No, they don't. They probably got annoyed at something stupid I said. But that does apply with me on other sites.

Ah, good - I'm pleased.

Well, yeah. Now that you mention it... I would say you just have a way of being very forceful and strait up with how you feel. Not always bad, but some people just can't deal with it.

I still miss my nan, even though it's been 7 years.

She looks down on me.

I used to talk to her, instead of my mum. She knew I had AS, and understood me.

1935 - 1999 RIP.

It's good that you had someone who understands you. I never had that

You are trying to say something nice to hale_bopp and make her feel better, and that is nice of you.

However it is a pity that you are not being truthful/honest. i.e. it is pity you were not able to make her feel better AND be truthful/honest. In other words, what you wrote is just some rubbish intended to make her feel better.

You know absolutely nothing about the person she is talking about, so you have NO basis for saying he made a mistake and will regret it. Oh sure MAYBE he did make a mistake, and MAYBE he will regret it, but you have NO way of knowing whether that is true. You are just SAYING he made a mistake in order to make hale_bopp feel better.

Furthermore, you do not care to determine or investigate whether he made a mistake and will regret it. It does not matter to you because your intention is just to make hale_bopp feel better by saying anything regardless of whether you know it to be true.

Your feel-good rubbish crap pisses me off, and yes sure it makes people feel good in the short term, but in the long term and overall, you are not really helping people effectively.

Hopefully in future you can learn how to make people feel better while staying truthful/honest. With that aim in mind, here is an example of one way that I could modify your message to make it more truthful but hopefully still able to make a person feel better:

Emp, read my words again and you will see that I have said nothing untruthful or misleading.

I DO think he has made a mistake, because Hale_bopp seems like a good person to talk to, and therefore I do not feel that she deserves to be mistreated or made to feel miserable.

It is jolly nice of you to re-write my text for me, and funnily enough I can empathise with your version. I do agree with it. However you are simply amending my STYLE in order to suit your own pedantic sense of logic. You've amended my words in order to say EXACTLY WHAT I WAS SAYING IN THE FIRST PLACE but in a different way.

I can just about cope with that, but I'm really very f-cked off that you think that (because I haven't used the exact words you'd have used) I am somehow lying. You are confusing INTERPRETATION OF INTENT with right or wrong. They are not the same.

You will note that I write in a personal manner. This is because I am writing what I think, and as such my comments cannot be lies because I am honest to myself. I know I'm not always right, which is why I'll use words like "sometimes" or "maybe", or start sentences with "I think.." or "In my opinion..". This does not mean that my views are invalid. You do not have the right to put words into my mouth because you do not and cannot know what I am thinking.

The point is, and this is an indisputable fact, you know absolutely nothing about the person she is talking about. Therefore your comments about him (that he made a mistake and will regret his actions) are completely unsupportable and obviously were not intended to be truthful or accurate. You just thought you would criticize him in order to make hale_bopp feel better.

Basically, you just whipped up some BS to make her feel better, with little or no concern for the truthfulness or accuracy of what you said.